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aemoant — Last Spring
Published: 2009-06-30 22:11:14 +0000 UTC; Views: 59; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description
Time has passedAnd I know....
That you had to go
But why?
You didn't have to turn and say " good-bye"
I know you're gone
But it's hard for my heart to accept
In love? Was I?
I'm not sure what it was yet
But I can say with straight eyes
...that I won't forget.
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Comments: 8
thankss yo. and nice riachuu.
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thank you ^^ I didnt draw it though I just needed a small pic so I got it off google serch.
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The ellipses, it doesn't seem you need such a big pause(unless the speaker was running), but in that case you would have more pauses. And it's a little short to be considered a sonnet (sonnets are extremely rigid and finicky). But still, good stuff. Really good stuff. I like it. It just reminds me of my pathetically loveless life.
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uhhh noooo...... i have to do better than. make it perfecttt.
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If you try to make it perfect, you'll kill yourself. All you can do is improve it and learn from it. Most of your problems are structurally. Just the words, punctuation, etc. No big deal. An easy edit. But you're still getting the meaning across (an important aspect of poetry), so that's why it's still good. That's the hardest part for beginner poets. You've got that down. What else...I honestly encourage you to take a poetry class at your school (see what you can learn).
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