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AfraidToDrown β Empty
Published: 2004-06-13 00:06:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 72; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 9
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Description
One day my music will stopAll I will hear will be the echo
As the notes slowly fade
Into the lethal silence
That haunts my empty soul
I can see it now
I will shake my head
As it lays in my arms
Trying to make my thoughts
Roll off my tongue
And upon the ears of those who care
Or trying to make my dreams
Appear
Too bad I havenβt had a dream
Since I learned how cruel
My mind can make reality
So I will sit
Head in my hands
Waiting for something
Anything
But nothing will come to me
In this empty silence that is my destiny
Not even my tears
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Comments: 7
Good job, hun. I can see how what you are feeling is coming out in this.
My favorite line: "I can see it now"
You are still using the grandiose metaphors though. Some of your lines (like the one above) are gold, but then there are a few in there that are a little overdone. When you are writing, try deliberately understating things. I bet the effect, along with your style, would be really interesting.
elokin
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thanks..im glad you thought it was good!
ill take ur comments into consideration next time i write something..
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i feel like this too 
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aww thanks hon..ur too nice to me
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welcome to the silence.
only its not very quiet
the only thing you hear
is the ringing of the sound that is not there.
sorry i got imspired by this.
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oo! nice!
god damn!..its so much better than mine!
grrrr...
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