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Description
I’ve never been afraid
Until too late
I’ve never cared
Until something was gone

I’m the girl
That can’t stop herself from laughing
When being screamed at
But then falls apart
Hours later
Listening to the ghost of her humiliation
As it haunts her
Wishing she could have wiped
A stupid grin off her face

I’m the girl
That assumes
That everything will stay the same
Refuses to acknowledge
What she doesn’t like
Ignores the most important parts of her life
Sits and watches
Without truly seeing
Until it is set in stone
Only then do I realize
My own ignorance

It is when I leave myself
In those small precious pockets in time
I force myself to come to terms with
What I should have,
Could have,
Would have done
Had I been smarter,
Stronger,
Steadier

It is during these moments
That I fall away from who I truly am
And wish I were something more
Than just an empty, smiling shell.