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AlienLifeDetected — Why does he...
Published: 2011-01-27 21:54:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 330; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 9
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Description
He sits with frosted snow upon his lap on the highways edge as speeding vehicles pass him by without a thought.Why, I wonder, does he sit there?
So still and silent he seems, yet he must be a living, breathing person. His back hunched; head down and forward—maybe he's tired?
Why, I wonder, does he sit there? Was this mysterious lad kicked out of shelter, to freeze in the cold weather?
His surroundings are beautiful: a frosted wonderland. Birds of prey ride the thermals above, a little bunny rabbit hops near by in ankle deep snow. I'm in one of those vehicles passing him by. As I get closer, I get a glimpse of his features—blank yet handsome. Then I've passed him up and left with one question.
Why, I wonder, does he sit there?
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Comments: 30
"Why, I wonder, does he sit there?"... Brilliant line. I was very skeptical at first. I really had no intention of giving you 5/5 but... Wow... First off the imagery is brilliant, it's just amazing. I love how you not only capture the way the person feels and his hardships but also (in such a short way) you also gave me a vivid picture of the mans surroundings.. It's very well written, I love how to line repeats, and your readers will definetly be sucked in and placed into your story. This is one of those things that makes you fell like you were there... which is weird... cause it's so damn short. <3 Great job!
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Don't be shocked!!! You deserve it! I love the story...
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I just don't see what so many people like about it. It was just something simple that I wrote while in a car. xD
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Sometimes the simplest stuff has the most emotion. Think about it, you could write a book about how much you love something or someone but nothing ever potray's as much emotion as simply saying "I love you". This is a strong, simple piece
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I have thought of that, actually, but for other people. I never thought of it for myself.
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This made me speechless. As I already commented, this touched my heart in some way I cannot explain.
The way you wrote this is literally amazing. How you summed everything up until the last part, which in my opinion is the part that struck me the most. You managed to write something so short, but something so touching. Not many people can do that. Looks like you have that skill.
Also, you explained this so well, I imagined it while I was reading. What you wrote probably made the others who read this imagine it too!
You really wrote something great Chi. In my opinion, this is one of the best short peices of writing I have ever read!
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Jamie Lee Crawford
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No problem! It surely affected me, so I can imagine what it would do to others!
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XD your amazing too chi
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This is beautiful. I love how the words just strike at your imagination... its mysterious.
Odd that someone had been sitting out at the side of the road in such weather though. @_@
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Thank you. I'm super glad you enjoyed it.
I thought the same thing, which was why I dug into my bag to grab my notebook and pencil. >w<
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xD Whenever I get ideas I try to keep them stuck in my mind for as long as I can, hoping to get a chance to write them down... unfortunately I forget most of the time. u_u; I do have an idea for a piece right now though. Its, interesting. ._.
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I would like to hear about it.
Yeah, that happens to me all too much. Dx
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this...touched my heart in some way I cannot explain.
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I'm fine, how about you?
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my knee bone popped owt :://x
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