HOME | DD
Published: 2012-08-04 16:18:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 1876; Favourites: 44; Downloads: 8
Redirect to original
Description
They say that I can't last much longer,Grinning as I scream in pain
And laughing as I gasp for air.
But they won't reach their goal.
"Daddy, you'll be back, won't you?"
Her words still echo in my head,
A piece of happiness I keep within.
"Of course, my angel. Sooner than you'd think."
Darkness embraces my consciousness,
And every breath becomes a struggle,
But still I hear her worried voice.
"Promise?" she asks. "Promise." I answer.
And as I lie here on the floor,
Beaten, bloody, and alone,
I feel my heart beating in my chest,
Fighting to fulfill my promise.
"But how can you know?" she calls
As I'm halfway out the door.
I smile as I bend down to hug her.
"for you I'll be invincible."
And though my world is made of pain,
And my blood seems caught on fire,
I draw one breath after another,
And know that I'll return alive.
Related content
Comments: 36
Anna-Viktoria In reply to GoldenFlameNaLu [2013-02-03 09:32:15 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked my poems! If you want to, you can also take a look at my gallery [link] for more!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Anna-Viktoria In reply to luvicoffee [2012-08-12 20:51:03 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
JunozPP [2012-08-06 11:36:22 +0000 UTC]
I'm impressed. I thoroughly enoyed it. Thanks for writing it! Made my evening.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Anna-Viktoria In reply to JunozPP [2012-08-12 20:51:34 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
cee69 [2012-08-05 19:37:54 +0000 UTC]
I usually don't read poems (I just delete them) but this one just dragged me to the end O.O
Really awesome poem
~cee
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
tegori [2012-08-05 19:37:25 +0000 UTC]
Wow!!
Truly BEAUTIFUL and very, very emotive!!!
I think you've made cry to more of one (myself included)...
Good luck in the contest!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Anna-Viktoria In reply to tegori [2012-08-12 20:55:02 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! And I'm glad that I managed to get get you so into it that it made you cry! (that sounds really evil, doesn't it?
)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
tegori In reply to Anna-Viktoria [2012-08-13 07:22:59 +0000 UTC]
You're very welcome!! (yep, it does.
but it's fine. I guess it's all part of your plan.. your evil plan
)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DSteffi [2012-08-05 05:42:42 +0000 UTC]
Great poem. O.O I love the message behind this and how every line flows perfectly to the other.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Fantasy-WarriorX [2012-08-05 04:53:57 +0000 UTC]
This is wonderful, I enjoyed reading this one. It's very moving, nice job!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CrematedMan [2012-08-05 03:03:29 +0000 UTC]
The last stanza and dialogue really made this poem. It moved it from the typical struggling narrative poem to something better. Nicely done.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
NotenSMSK [2012-08-05 02:21:13 +0000 UTC]
Beautiful!! I loved the concept. The story line is very short yet gives a person many thoughts. It is vast. The start did not impress me VERY much. It was fine. But from the third stanza, it turns really great. I didn't feel a lack of rhyme though I felt its presence when I reached the fourth stanza and there it gets REALLY good. loved the ending... but I got a totally different YET similar idea... I hope to write on it soon
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Anna-Viktoria In reply to NotenSMSK [2012-08-05 06:40:57 +0000 UTC]
Thanks!
And thank you so much for always giving me that great feedback! It really helps!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
NotenSMSK In reply to Anna-Viktoria [2012-08-05 10:45:12 +0000 UTC]
I hope it does... I rarely get VERY critical as in line by line and this and that... so I hope it helps
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
breezybrutality [2012-08-05 01:04:45 +0000 UTC]
Oh. My God. I cried.
I absolutely love this T^T
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Anna-Viktoria In reply to breezybrutality [2012-08-05 06:39:33 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much! That's the best compliment you can give!
I'm really glad you liked it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
breezybrutality In reply to Anna-Viktoria [2012-08-05 14:37:26 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad I could give a good compliment to such a great piece!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
chewyraezen In reply to Anna-Viktoria [2012-08-04 16:56:13 +0000 UTC]
you are quite welcome
👍: 0 ⏩: 0








