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Description
De·pres·sion

De·pres·sion [di présh'n]
(plural de·pres·sions)

1. sadness: a state of unhappiness andhopelessness
2. psychiatric disorder: a psychiatric disordershowing symptoms such as persistent feelings of hopelessness, dejection, poorconcentration, lack of energy, inability to sleep, and, sometimes, suicidaltendencies
3. reduced activity: a lowering of activity,quality, vitality, or force

Depression is one the toolsof the devil, and a highly effective one at that, in fact in my opinion it maybe the most effective weapon in his arsenal. Of all the different mental statesa person experiences it is the only one from which we could never gain anyamount of immunity or even tolerance from. It is a chronic recurring parasiticentity that saps away your strength, courage and sometimes even your will tolive, striking always at a persons heart when you least expect it with therealization of a lighting bolt yet with the stealth of a camouflaged serpent.You never realize it except when its too late, after the damage has been doneand taken root deep into your psyche with slithering tendrils creeping and deformingyour most intimate thoughts and laying waste to your most solid mental barriersexposing all your raw fears, insecurities and doubts.

Depression is even made moredangerous by its contagious and sometimes even vampiric nature spreading like adisease hungry for the blood of the soul affecting those susceptible or notalike.

I write this now becausedepression is a feeling I have been exposed to for quite sometime now, grownaccustomed to and become intimate with to the point that happiness has become anotion akin to a dream or a fantasy.

Despite countless days ofmeditation and nights of self help books and despite of amassing a massivearsenal of depression defending mental shields and optimist quotes and barriersthe devil always finds a psychological loop hole to utilize or mental crack tocreep through and impregnate a fresh portion of your naïve virgin psyche withhis dark corrupt seed letting it fester and feed on your hopes, dreams andhappiness in hope that it will spawn into a crawling infective mass of despair.It is the only emotion that is both recurring and long lasting at the sametime, it does not come in shorts blasts, it is here to stay.

Despite all this the blamedoes not fall entirely on the devil, he is just the man who loads the barrel,who pours the gasoline and hands over the matches. It’s always our finger onthe trigger and our hand holding the burning match. We may not noticedepression sneaking up on us but we do embrace it, nurture it, cultivate it,feed it and give it it’s sustenance and it’s breeding ground, respectively ourdreams and our minds.

I apologize for sounding sogrim but this little illuminating (some might say mood darkening) piece ofliterature is not meant to introduce you to some hidden spiritual life brighteningmethod to vanquish the villainous life demeaning horde known as melancholy, Iam not that deluded, no, I am a realist and if you are one of those deludedpersonas who think that matters of the heart and turmoils of the soul can besolved by self-indulging introverts who just happen to know how to put theirthoughts into words on pen and paper then I regret to inform this is not one ofyour countless shelf-inhabiting, help you face reality books. No, I beg you tofollow me in a different approach. Sun Tzu lao in his teachings alwaysemphasized on knowing thy enemy and on the importance of keeping your friendsclose and your enemies closer, and this is what I invite you to accept intoyour minds today.

Know thy enemy before youstrike against him and it is without a doubt that depression is a foe to bereckoned with. I invite you to know who depression is, what his methods andtactics are, what weapons and agents of espionage he utilizes, where,when andhow he strikes so that next time when you get that deep feeling in the pit ofyour stomach, when the calm before the storm dawns upon you and the worldstarts to seem that slightest bit dimmer in your eyes you know what youare dealing with, have your strategyready and launch your counter-offensive.

The world is not a prettyplace and success is just a massive façade concocted by the fascist empireknown as society. Society demands your success. Society determines your worth.Society decides your significance. Society demands your existence. Societydemands your undying and everlasting slavery.
Pledge yourself, mind, bodyand soul to the deity known as society and free yourself from the hazardoustoxic waste of self esteem and the singularity of vision and self satisfaction.Feed the needs of others and join in the collective consciousness ofcivilization.
Those who think forthemselves cannot feed society’s parasitic nature and those who cannot feedsociety are engulfed by the antibodies of the media, digested, and rejected,outcast like excrement.

An autoimmune reaction ifany.

Change is rejected like anewly formed cell alien to the body and Tradition is protected blindly like oldstagnant shriveled tissues holding tightly together with their teeth deepwithin the marrow. Perception is warped and what was once considered the fruitof a new era is now considered an unholy act of aggression.

A Series of UnfortunateEvents.
Doesn’t it always begin thatway? A chain reaction of pent up frustrations and blackened hearts thatcultivate up to a climatic supernova of an outburst reverberating and rocking aperson’s soul and of those around him.
One person’s outburst isanother person’s shattered confidence. One person’s shattered confidence isanother’s presumed fault. One person false sense of fault is another’s hopelessdesire to achieve a better place. One person’s desire for a better place isanother’s lack of fulfillment. One person’s lack of fulfillment is another’sfailed attempt at a positive outlook at life and so it goes and goes spiralingout of control deeper and deeper and deeper into a dark pit of despair andconfusion one man affecting another and one another exponentially until neitherorigin can be determined nor end be seen.

You try to dig your way outbut the soil is too damp, too thick. You try to swim for air but the pressureprevents you from moving, the current is always against you.
You decide to give up andsurrender yourself to the darkness but the air is too thin in space, you cannotbreathe and the worst thing about space is that no one can hear you scream,your life falls upon deaf ears, your desires scattered to the ravages of space,your despair always insignificant compared to others, your death a clock ticksharp and shallow and instantly forgettable as time goes on for everyone else.

A state of emotionalparalysis.
Happiness is bound by chainsand Enthusiasm is drowning in a lake. Motivation is walking on thin ice andDesire is a burning candle in bottle quickly running out of oxygen. Progress iswaddling through tar quickly drying up and Hope is a dried old tree twig in themiddle of a hurricane.

And then in the midst of thisunmoving emotional state just before all senses are dulled and a false sense ofsecurity and acceptance settles in a single emotion emerges through the rubble,a single emotion more powerful and more devastating than any before.

ANGER…

Raw and untamed, a beast thathas been chained for too long and is far too hungry. Reason will not work.Consequences will not matter, you will be trapped within a shell seeing,hearing and experiencing everything as your life is laid to waste by your ownhands and your world is devastated by your own voice. You will see it all andexperience it all and you will be helpless to stop it bound in strait jacket ofyour own emotions … and… you… will…enjoy…every…cataclysmic…minute…of…it.
You will tear down youremotional baggage and spit upon your social support. You will discard yourfriends and burn down your family tree. You will do all this and you will do itwith a smile upon your psyche.

And then… quietly, slowly inthe aftermath after the dust settles upon the battlefield with the dawn of anew day a new feeling dawns with it…
A feeling of loathing andhate, disgust and repulsion … a feeling so pure and so clear that it can onlybe directed towards one person … yourself.

Regret seeps in and the soulstarts to feel weak, as if a disease has claimed your spirit, you don’t eventry to justify your actions because deep down you know, without a doubt, youare guilty, guilt so powerful, so overwhelming that no amount of repentance orforgiveness while ever wash it away, you try to atone but how can you expectatonement from your family and friends if you can’t even forgive yourself?

The heart becomes black androtten and with it pain. Pain unlike ever before. More lucid than any physicalpain and More scarring than any heartbreak. Because you realize that you havejust dumped by the one person you always thought will be there for you, the oneperson that no matter what you did will always love you and defend you, the oneperson who followed you to the end of the earth and you cast him over the edge.

You have just killed your ownself worth.

And so you sentence yourselfto a prison of torment. You act as victim, judge, jury and executioner, condemnyourself and bring down the hammer hard.

Acceptance and illumination.The final chapter of a never ending story. A cliffhanger and a prologue at thesame time.
You are not the centre of theworld and yet at the same time you are not spinning with it. You realize yourisolation and learn to accept your solitude.

You become the last island ofinsanity in an ocean of sanity.

Apathetically andindifferently you take one last look at the world that detested you so much,turn your back on it, crawl back into Pandora’s box, curl up amidst all thechaos, turmoil and confusion and slowly close the lid.

Description
De·pres·sion

De·pres·sion [di présh'n]
(plural de·pres·sions)

1. sadness: a state of unhappiness andhopelessness
2. psychiatric disorder: a psychiatric disordershowing symptoms such as persistent feelings of hopelessness, dejection, poorconcentration, lack of energy, inability to sleep, and, sometimes, suicidaltendencies
3. reduced activity: a lowering of activity,quality, vitality, or force

Depression is one the toolsof the devil, and a highly effective one at that, in fact in my opinion it maybe the most effective weapon in his arsenal. Of all the different mental statesa person experiences it is the only one from which we could never gain anyamount of immunity or even tolerance from. It is a chronic recurring parasiticentity that saps away your strength, courage and sometimes even your will tolive, striking always at a persons heart when you least expect it with therealization of a lighting bolt yet with the stealth of a camouflaged serpent.You never realize it except when its too late, after the damage has been doneand taken root deep into your psyche with slithering tendrils creeping and deformingyour most intimate thoughts and laying waste to your most solid mental barriersexposing all your raw fears, insecurities and doubts.

Depression is even made moredangerous by its contagious and sometimes even vampiric nature spreading like adisease hungry for the blood of the soul affecting those susceptible or notalike.

I write this now becausedepression is a feeling I have been exposed to for quite sometime now, grownaccustomed to and become intimate with to the point that happiness has become anotion akin to a dream or a fantasy.

Despite countless days ofmeditation and nights of self help books and despite of amassing a massivearsenal of depression defending mental shields and optimist quotes and barriersthe devil always finds a psychological loop hole to utilize or mental crack tocreep through and impregnate a fresh portion of your naïve virgin psyche withhis dark corrupt seed letting it fester and feed on your hopes, dreams andhappiness in hope that it will spawn into a crawling infective mass of despair.It is the only emotion that is both recurring and long lasting at the sametime, it does not come in shorts blasts, it is here to stay.

Despite all this the blamedoes not fall entirely on the devil, he is just the man who loads the barrel,who pours the gasoline and hands over the matches. It’s always our finger onthe trigger and our hand holding the burning match. We may not noticedepression sneaking up on us but we do embrace it, nurture it, cultivate it,feed it and give it it’s sustenance and it’s breeding ground, respectively ourdreams and our minds.

I apologize for sounding sogrim but this little illuminating (some might say mood darkening) piece ofliterature is not meant to introduce you to some hidden spiritual life brighteningmethod to vanquish the villainous life demeaning horde known as melancholy, Iam not that deluded, no, I am a realist and if you are one of those deludedpersonas who think that matters of the heart and turmoils of the soul can besolved by self-indulging introverts who just happen to know how to put theirthoughts into words on pen and paper then I regret to inform this is not one ofyour countless shelf-inhabiting, help you face reality books. No, I beg you tofollow me in a different approach. Sun Tzu lao in his teachings alwaysemphasized on knowing thy enemy and on the importance of keeping your friendsclose and your enemies closer, and this is what I invite you to accept intoyour minds today.

Know thy enemy before youstrike against him and it is without a doubt that depression is a foe to bereckoned with. I invite you to know who depression is, what his methods andtactics are, what weapons and agents of espionage he utilizes, where,when andhow he strikes so that next time when you get that deep feeling in the pit ofyour stomach, when the calm before the storm dawns upon you and the worldstarts to seem that slightest bit dimmer in your eyes you know what youare dealing with, have your strategyready and launch your counter-offensive.

The world is not a prettyplace and success is just a massive façade concocted by the fascist empireknown as society. Society demands your success. Society determines your worth.Society decides your significance. Society demands your existence. Societydemands your undying and everlasting slavery.
Pledge yourself, mind, bodyand soul to the deity known as society and free yourself from the hazardoustoxic waste of self esteem and the singularity of vision and self satisfaction.Feed the needs of others and join in the collective consciousness ofcivilization.
Those who think forthemselves cannot feed society’s parasitic nature and those who cannot feedsociety are engulfed by the antibodies of the media, digested, and rejected,outcast like excrement.

An autoimmune reaction ifany.

Change is rejected like anewly formed cell alien to the body and Tradition is protected blindly like oldstagnant shriveled tissues holding tightly together with their teeth deepwithin the marrow. Perception is warped and what was once considered the fruitof a new era is now considered an unholy act of aggression.

A Series of UnfortunateEvents.
Doesn’t it always begin thatway? A chain reaction of pent up frustrations and blackened hearts thatcultivate up to a climatic supernova of an outburst reverberating and rocking aperson’s soul and of those around him.
One person’s outburst isanother person’s shattered confidence. One person’s shattered confidence isanother’s presumed fault. One person false sense of fault is another’s hopelessdesire to achieve a better place. One person’s desire for a better place isanother’s lack of fulfillment. One person’s lack of fulfillment is another’sfailed attempt at a positive outlook at life and so it goes and goes spiralingout of control deeper and deeper and deeper into a dark pit of despair andconfusion one man affecting another and one another exponentially until neitherorigin can be determined nor end be seen.

You try to dig your way outbut the soil is too damp, too thick. You try to swim for air but the pressureprevents you from moving, the current is always against you.
You decide to give up andsurrender yourself to the darkness but the air is too thin in space, you cannotbreathe and the worst thing about space is that no one can hear you scream,your life falls upon deaf ears, your desires scattered to the ravages of space,your despair always insignificant compared to others, your death a clock ticksharp and shallow and instantly forgettable as time goes on for everyone else.

A state of emotionalparalysis.
Happiness is bound by chainsand Enthusiasm is drowning in a lake. Motivation is walking on thin ice andDesire is a burning candle in bottle quickly running out of oxygen. Progress iswaddling through tar quickly drying up and Hope is a dried old tree twig in themiddle of a hurricane.

And then in the midst of thisunmoving emotional state just before all senses are dulled and a false sense ofsecurity and acceptance settles in a single emotion emerges through the rubble,a single emotion more powerful and more devastating than any before.

ANGER…

Raw and untamed, a beast thathas been chained for too long and is far too hungry. Reason will not work.Consequences will not matter, you will be trapped within a shell seeing,hearing and experiencing everything as your life is laid to waste by your ownhands and your world is devastated by your own voice. You will see it all andexperience it all and you will be helpless to stop it bound in strait jacket ofyour own emotions … and… you… will…enjoy…every…cataclysmic…minute…of…it.
You will tear down youremotional baggage and spit upon your social support. You will discard yourfriends and burn down your family tree. You will do all this and you will do itwith a smile upon your psyche.

And then… quietly, slowly inthe aftermath after the dust settles upon the battlefield with the dawn of anew day a new feeling dawns with it…
A feeling of loathing andhate, disgust and repulsion … a feeling so pure and so clear that it can onlybe directed towards one person … yourself.

Regret seeps in and the soulstarts to feel weak, as if a disease has claimed your spirit, you don’t eventry to justify your actions because deep down you know, without a doubt, youare guilty, guilt so powerful, so overwhelming that no amount of repentance orforgiveness while ever wash it away, you try to atone but how can you expectatonement from your family and friends if you can’t even forgive yourself?

The heart becomes black androtten and with it pain. Pain unlike ever before. More lucid than any physicalpain and More scarring than any heartbreak. Because you realize that you havejust dumped by the one person you always thought will be there for you, the oneperson that no matter what you did will always love you and defend you, the oneperson who followed you to the end of the earth and you cast him over the edge.

You have just killed your ownself worth.

And so you sentence yourselfto a prison of torment. You act as victim, judge, jury and executioner, condemnyourself and bring down the hammer hard.

Acceptance and illumination.The final chapter of a never ending story. A cliffhanger and a prologue at thesame time.
You are not the centre of theworld and yet at the same time you are not spinning with it. You realize yourisolation and learn to accept your solitude.

You become the last island ofinsanity in an ocean of sanity.

Apathetically andindifferently you take one last look at the world that detested you so much,turn your back on it, crawl back into Pandora’s box, curl up amidst all thechaos, turmoil and confusion and slowly close the lid.