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And the walls kept tumbling down

      In the city that we love

      Grey clouds roll over the hills

      Bringing darkness from above

You stood in the Shiganshina District, the shadows of the ruins blocking you from the suns harsh rays. You had finally done it, humanity had finally won. After all the sweat, blood, and tears, humanity had finally beaten the Titans. Everyone was celebrating. Eren had blocked any remaining breeches in the Wall and the Survey Corps had clean out the Titans inside. After tonight everyone would began the reclaiming of Wall Maria. Soon enough Humanity would have its freedom back, but today was dedicating to letting everyone enjoy their first breathes out of the shadows of the Titans. It was easy to ignore the losses for a moment, to just relish in the fact that everything was going to be alright. But you weren’t with them. You weren’t with your friends and comrades in Wall Sina, where they had been granted a large feast for their efforts outside the wall. You stood in what was left of your childhood home where you had last seen your family.

Callused fingers played with the hem of your dress as tears pooled in the corners of your [e/c] eyes. You wanted to be happy, to celebrate, but your heart wouldn’t let you. It had seemed simple in the beginning. No, simple wasn’t the right word. When you first joined the Survey Corps you knew your role. You were a solider. You were there to eliminate as many Titans as you could, help gather information on them, and if the time came for it sacrifice your life for humanity. But things then got complicated. The lines on who was the enemy began to blur. Comrades became foes, people who stood for the worst of humanity became comrades. Your goal was becoming more and more askew, as was your role. You had been part of the new elite team. Along with Armin and Mikasa, you followed Corporal Levi and Eren into the heart of battle.

In the end, you were one of the blades that came down on the Titan-Shifter. People you had once called friends.

The memory sent a tremor racking through your body, dropping you to your knees. You choked out a sob as you failed to hold in the tears that threatened to fall.

But if you close your eyes,

      Does it almost feel like nothings changed at all?

     And if you close your eyes,

     Does it almost feel like you've been here before?

You never heard the footsteps coming from behind the fallen walls. You hadn’t noticed the presence behind you until a voice cut through the silence.

“Remember that time we tried to hide on your roof from Mikasa?”

[H/c] locks of hair whipped around you as you snapped your head up. Your eyes searched for the owner of the voice, landing on a pair of concerned teal coloured hues.

“Eren-n!?” You hurriedly wiped the tears from your cheeks. Despite your damp mood, the memory pulled your lips upwards. “We were up there because she was mad you got in another fight.”

He let out a light hearted laugh as he stepped over the rocks that used to be the walls of your home. “Hey! I was defending you, remember? You were always picking fights with the older boys.”

You puffed out your tearstained cheeks, “they were talking bad about you and Armin! I had to put them in their place.”

A comfortable silence fell between you two. You sat on your knees in the middle of the rubble while Eren leaned against a half crumbled wall. Both of you had soft smiles on your lips, remembering the days before your worlds fell apart.

But like everything in this life, happiness was as fickle as a flame in the wind. Everything that had happened since those happy days came rushing back and the smile slowly peeled from your lips. “Why are you even here, Eren? Shouldn’t you be in the centre wall, celebrating...?”

Shaking his head, the boy walked over and knelt beside you. He brushed your hair out of your face before speaking again. “Maybe my version of celebrating is the same as yours.”

You stared at him, confused. He nodded to the rubble around you but you were still lost in translation. “Aren’t you here to morn your family?” he asked, face now mimicking your confusion.

Realization hit you. You shook you head sadly. “No, I’ve gotten passed that. I can’t bring them back, and crying over their graves and being angry won’t make anything better. All I can do now is live a life they would be proud of. That’s why I’m here. I just feel like… like I let them down…” Fresh tears began to fall. They startled the boy in front of you, leaving him awkward and unsure of what to do. Eren slowly transferred his weight into his knees and pulled your fingers from the fabric of your dress and into his hands. “You helped save humanity, [First]. Your family would be proud-“

“I killed people Eren!” Your shout surprised both parties. “I helped kill our friends! People we spent years with…”

How am I gonna be an optimist about this?


“They betrayed us, [First]. They betrayed humanity!” The brunette shook his head. “You did what had to be done to save humanity.”

“How are we different from them Eren?” you asked in a quiet voice, [e/c] eyes drifting to your intertwined hands. “They killed people, so did we. We sacrificed our own people as distractions, sent some out into the wild to prevent the others from starving. We knowingly led people to their deaths!”

How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

Your body began to quiver as you cried. “How can we win when we sacrifice the very thing we were striving to protect? Somewhere along the lines we lost our humanity… in the end, only the lesser of two evils came out on top. If the Titans aren’t here to kill us then we’ll end up killing eachother. We’re responsible for almost as many deaths as the Titans! Mindless killing is in their nature, but we killed with purpose!”

Every tear you held back since you joined the Survey Corps came rushing forward. The tears you wouldn’t let fall when Marco and the others died in Trost, when you had to leave innocent soldiers behind, when you thought you’d lost Eren… Your vision was blurred, not noticing the look of heartbreak in the boy’s eyes. Two strong arms wrapped around your sobbing form, pulling you to a warm chest. You let your fingers grip Eren’s shirt as you cried into his neck. Minutes passed and your cheeks eventually dried. You stayed against Eren’s chest, neither of you had made a move to separate.

“You’re wrong, [First].” The boy’s lips brushed against your hair as he spoke. “We may have done some questionable things to win, but it’s people like you that will pull us back in the right direction. You have a kind heart, more than anyone I’ve ever known. As long as we have people like you, all hope isn’t lost. You’re what humanity needs now. Not soldiers, not titan-shifters, but people who can admit they did wrong and strive to fix it.”

A suffocating silence fell around you two.

Oh where do we begin?

     The rubble or our sins?

“Eren?” your voice was barely about a whisper. “Thank you. For being here, and for the compliment.”

You felt him smile against your head.

“I’ll always be here for you. Whatever you need.”

You tilted your chin up to look at the brunette. A light blush dusted your cheeks as his teal eyes stared at your with utter affection. Your blush darkened when you realized how close your faces were. Upon seeing your red cheeks, the boy made the same realization. A nervous look passed through his eyes, followed by one of doubt. Finally, that idiotic confidence and passion you had come to know and love flared in the green pools. Leaning forward, Eren’s eyes drifted to your lips before flicking up to meet your [e/c] ones. When he saw nothing but nervousness and anticipation, he smirked slightly before pressing his chapped lips against yours. Your body tensed and you felt Eren smile against your mouth. Soft lips began to brush back against his. One of Eren’s hands made its way into your hair while the other rested on the small of your back. Your fingers trailed delicately over the boy’s muscular shoulders and weaved themselves into his brown locks.

Oh where do we begin?

     The rubble or our sins?

The two of you pulled apart, chests heaving as your lungs tried to collect the oxygen they had been denied. Eren ran his knuckles against your cheek before pecking you lightly on the nose. “No matter what you’ve done, [First], you’ll always be amazing to me. You always have been, ever since we were little. You stood up for everybody else and made sure they were happy. But you never focused on yourself. You did the same with the war against the Titans, but it’s over now. No more fighting and putting the needs of other’s ahead of your own. Humanity has achieved its victory thanks to you. You can be happy, [First].”

Teal eyes dropped to the ground as he quietly added, “and I want to help make you happy.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. It almost sounded like Eren had feeling for you. Eren’s eyes darted up for a second and in the moment you realized… he did. Without thinking, you gripped Eren’s jacket collar and pulled his lips back against yours. He seemed to get the hint, grinning into the kiss. You slipped your tongue into his mouth, smirking at his lack of defense. A growl rumbled in the back of his throat as he pushed your tongue back. The two muscles fought for dominance but the male’s won in the end. Eren’s tongue searched your mouth victoriously, savoring your taste. You couldn’t help the small moan of pleasure that escaped you. Large hands roughly squeezed your waist, pulling you closer. You let out another moan as the boy nipped at your bottom lip.

“Ahem.”

Upon heard someone clear their throat, you both parted. You blinked owlishly at the pair standing before you, as Eren merely glared at the interruption.

“We were wondering where you went. You said you were going looking for [First] over an hour ago” Armin said with a knowing smile. The Asian girl with him examined the couple before her.

“About time” she muttered. “Now I don’t have to listen to you whining about how much you love-“

“Hey!” Eren’s face turned a bright shade of red. He twisted to stare into your [e/c] eyes. Nervously he swallowed. “[First], we’ve known each other since we were little, and I think I’ve known this for a while now… I love you. I always have, and I always will. It’s okay if you don’t feel…”

You placed a finger to his lips, silencing him. “I love you too” you whispered, before replacing your appendage with your lips.

“Enough kissing already!” Armin squealed. The blonde began to blush profusely, turning around. “We’re going to miss the celebrations!”

You both nodded. Eren stood first and offered you his hand, helping you off the ground. They stayed intertwined as you reached your two other friends. You linked your arm with the blonde male, who in turn linked his other with Mikasa’s. The four of you walked through the ruined streets that had once been your home. After everything that had happened, after all the heartache and losses, you four were still together.

“We made it guys” you whispered, staring straight ahead at the fallen city. “In the end, we’re all alive.” The three smiled back at you. A single memory played through all of your heads. Of four children walking down the very same street, arms linked like a human wall. The building towered above them, unlike how you towered above the ruins now. Each one had a bright smile on their face, like nothing in the world mattered more than whatever they were talking about. Those children had grown up, they no lingered wore such carefree smiles. But they were together still, and hopefully would be forever.

If you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?

That alone was the sweetest victory of them all.