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AquaDrakeKitty — A Pointless Question
Published: 2018-01-06 00:36:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 259; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 0
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“…I know this is a pointless question, but…if you could’ve changed something, what would you change?”
Zachary thought for a few moments. There were so many things that went wrong, so many times when things could have gone differently…which would have worked out better not just for him, but for everyone?
He chuckled a little.
“You’ve always given me the hard questions,” he muttered hollowly, trying to be teasing and failing. “Well…let’s see…”
“Would you have told Melanie not to sacrifice her sanity for us?”
“Maybe…” Zachary thought aloud. “She was such a kind girl, but could have been smarter. She probably would’ve done something else rash later down the line.”
“Would you have stopped Jessica from running across the bridge? You know, when we were both children?”
Zachary felt a pang in his chest. Poor Jessica…she was only a toddler at the time. Still, he shook his head. What happened to her caused a lot of grief, but good things came from it as well.
“That scarecrow post…would you have stopped my dad from building it?”
“I’d like to say I would,” Zachary answered. “I’ve always knew that post was bad news, but…I think I could do something better.”
“You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? Alright, I’ll stop suggesting. Go on and tell me. What would you have changed?”
“I would’ve never met you,” he answered plainly.
“…What?”
“You heard me,” he repeated. “I’d stop us from meeting.”
“I don’t…I don’t understand, though…why? Haven’t I done so much good for you?”
“You did,” Zachary answered, feeling regret for voicing his opinion. “I’m thankful, really, but…I can’t overlook what else you’ve done.”
“B-but…you told me…”
“That I was happiest when I was with you?” Zachary finished before sighing heavily. “I wasn’t lying, but things change. I know who you are now, and I cannot forgive you.”
“You want an apology? For me to throw myself down at your feet and beg?”
“No, it’d be pointless,” he answered, his eyes stern. “What’s done is done. If I hadn’t met you, maybe I wouldn’t be here right now.”
“Yeah, you wouldn’t be, because you’d be dead. You’d have died back there if you never met me, you know!”
“Exactly my point,” Zachary said, looking down at the dusty floor he was sitting on. “I know who you are…but I know myself now too.”
“Zack…”
Zachary leaned back against the wall, staring up at the old ceiling. He could have sworn, just for a moment, that there was the smallest glimmer of light shining through one of the cracks, but it was gone when he blinked. Of course, there was no need for such silly things now that everything had changed.
“You know…” Zachary sighed, all resolve in his voice bleeding away, “sometimes I think about what could’ve been if I hadn’t survive that incident…the more I think about it, the more clear it is that everything that happened is as much my fault as it is yours, the scarecrow post’s, Melanie’s, Victor’s…Jessica’s…all of those problems, all of those people. Still, without me and without you, things might’ve turned around.”
“I wish you didn’t have to say it out loud.”
“I wish I didn’t too.”
For a while, there was silence.
“…Zack…you know…”
“Yes, Lily?”
“I…I wish I could see Melanie smile again..and I wish I could look Jessica in the eyes again…I wish I could hug my dog again, I wish I could walk in the park with my parents again, I wish I could’ve given Victor that poem I wrote for him, and I wish…I wish I could be with you again.”
“…I wish that too.”
Zachary looked in Lily’s direction, where he saw no one sitting beside him.
