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article — Stare
Published: 2002-01-20 18:24:26 +0000 UTC; Views: 232; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 32
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Description
.your stare
imploding
in my chest
my jumps forgotten
nowhere here lost
within your green
your stare
imploding
in my chest
i will go
to battle
among the fog
for a dream
of a dream
of you
.
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Comments: 3
Like the simplicity... nice lines.
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The way to love is to realize that it may be lost. -- Gilbert K. Chesterton
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
now this is more interesting. consider avoidance of repetition of an entire stanza if you don't need it. i think this piece has far more impact (and approaches the realm of 'wow') without the third stanza.
slip into:
https://www.deviantart.com/deviation.php? id=96646
-flow-
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Very creative.
And I really like this particular verse -
"...i will go
to battle
among the fog
for a dream
of a dream
of you..."
👍: 0 ⏩: 0