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ashesanddisarray — futurepresentperfectpassive
Published: 2009-01-12 23:16:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 259; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 3
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Description aren't there things I could have
said? could have did?
could have stopped to take the time?

I could of sat there longer
looking out the window,
could of bought myself less
time.

Should of lingered a little longer,
Should of held on a little tighter,
Should of been less realistic,
should of grown up backwards.

  would of been a better love,
  would have touched your face a
  little softer,
  would of spent more nights
  laying awake,
  would of spoke a little louder.

  have you missed out on the seasons,
  did I give you enough reasons,
  staring threw the window
  on your ceiling,
  have you kept track
  of anything else,
  have you ever stopped
  believing?

  had I been a little closer,
  had we spoke a little sooner,
  had the days been a little slower,
  had my mind not been a motor.

                                                                       will we drift a little further,
                                                                       will we smile a little wider,
                                                                       will we commit this to memory,
                                                                       will we never forget the feeling.
                                                                       will we love a little less,
                                                                       will we compare them to all the rest.
                                                                       will we become birds at best?
                                                                       I will stay the rest of the season.

I get it now.
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Comments: 16

JeremiahFrost [2009-01-26 09:20:09 +0000 UTC]

Exquisite writing Ashes! Very well done. I quite enjoyed the repetitive and rhythmic qualities, and also the choices of words and metaphors were refreshing. Wonderful work miss! Simply Beautiful.

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ashesanddisarray In reply to JeremiahFrost [2009-01-26 16:57:50 +0000 UTC]

well thank you sir! I tried to rhyme without making it lame.

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dirtofgrandeur [2009-01-13 01:49:52 +0000 UTC]

I like the rhythmic qualities here. It bounces in my head, kind of a dragging, limping rhythm for lack of a better way to put it. It's darkly nostalgic in a weird sense.

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ashesanddisarray In reply to dirtofgrandeur [2009-01-13 04:02:09 +0000 UTC]

thank you. i'm never all rhythmic. I just go with whatever I feel like putting down, even if it means something or not. just what pops in my head. it's like a first instinct sort of thing. I'm glad u like it though, and darkly nostalgic is a very cool feeling.

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EarthboundEnigma [2009-01-12 23:29:38 +0000 UTC]

No.

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ashesanddisarray In reply to EarthboundEnigma [2009-01-12 23:44:32 +0000 UTC]

wha? O_0

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EarthboundEnigma In reply to ashesanddisarray [2009-01-13 16:53:56 +0000 UTC]

0_O ?ahw

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ashesanddisarray In reply to EarthboundEnigma [2009-01-13 17:24:43 +0000 UTC]

was the answer to those questions in the above poem, "no."?

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EarthboundEnigma In reply to ashesanddisarray [2009-01-13 17:54:52 +0000 UTC]

Yes.


Drop everything.

When there's nothing left to lose, you win.

Now point yourself in the direction of the thing you want more than anything else.

Go.

Just go, and don't stop.

Don't even turn around.

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ashesanddisarray In reply to EarthboundEnigma [2009-01-13 18:19:14 +0000 UTC]

that's kinda awesome, you should turn that into a short poem or something.

loves it.

good advice for the world.

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EarthboundEnigma In reply to ashesanddisarray [2009-01-13 19:30:02 +0000 UTC]

No.

Thank you, but that's just me being me.
I have my moments.

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ashesanddisarray In reply to EarthboundEnigma [2009-01-13 20:14:11 +0000 UTC]

lol well, it was good none the less.

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EarthboundEnigma In reply to ashesanddisarray [2009-01-13 21:05:41 +0000 UTC]

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HobbitPunk [2009-01-12 23:28:55 +0000 UTC]

I think we all feel like this once in a while.."couldashouldawouldadidnt."

Well done, hun. I think I'm gonna hafta read it over a few more times to get the entire meaning.

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ashesanddisarray In reply to HobbitPunk [2009-01-12 23:45:29 +0000 UTC]

thank you sir. sometimes they take a few readings. nothing huge in particular, just things that everyone has thought one time or another.

everyone in the world.

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HobbitPunk In reply to ashesanddisarray [2009-01-13 04:14:34 +0000 UTC]

True dat...

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