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AtarAtis — Is this Desire?
Published: 2012-02-26 17:25:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 1464; Favourites: 30; Downloads: 0
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Against better judgement I'm uploading this because I need feedback. Say anything, think anything, drop me a note... I just cannot decide what it needs and if it needs.The image is inspired by a song by PJ Harvey, Is this Desire. Hanging out with a good friend after a road trip to Belgium. -Thank you for ending the creative dry spell- I think I was also looking at illustrations by Harry Clarke in Edgar Allen Poe's book while this image was taking shape. It isn't the most logical idea to ink a sun but that is what I did!
Glad to be creating again!
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Comments: 24
Let me know if you received my comments Meike!
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Not sure what date this image was uploaded (probably March 2012?), but here's my five cents today (8/13/12 - the Closing Ceremony of the 2012 Summer Olympics!):
- I love the "Zentangle" technique you used for the young lady's hair/entanglement with trees/Nature/your background(?).
I read her eyes as "awakening, yet indifferent, possibly in surprise at the unusual sight", not necessarily looking "passionately" at her object of desire, more in pondering, as if creating a huge distance as opposed to embracing this possible "passion" with both arms. And to me the words "Desire" & "Passion" go together.... but maybe this is the point you wanted to get across?
FYI:To me this piece of Art is the opposite of "Desire". It's more like a calculated pondering. I have not explored your references at this point (P J Harvey; Harry Clarke). Are you trying to imitate their art?
- The lady is gazing upwards and not really looking at the human figure..... (He would have had to be higher in the picture for her to truly gaze at him...). She's gazing in the distance, in some kind of Utopia, not Reality. She seems to be in disbelieve and hesitant/scared to face this encounter. Is she truly making eye-contact?
This black human figure. He appears so dark & small opposed to her radiant sunlight! Although her light might be just like the Moon's: reflecting the Light of The Sun!
-Why the big white (snowy) triangular space from the left tapering to the right? This human being slap in the middle, most likely a man, (the poor guy!) dangling on the index finger of her left hand... She looks like she doesn't know what to think of him. Her hair on her left (yet the right of the drawing) is still very closely entwined with the (now?) barren trees (possibly her past or family ties?). I am puzzled by the few "white" locks in the otherwise darker hair. Is she turning "grey" at an early age? What color is her hair truly, I now wonder.....
- Why did you render him (so) all in black (and so small/tiny)? His shadow is cast over her fingers (missing on the index finger!), slightly to the right, just like the shadow of the barren trees resting on her arm (although their shadows reflect an even sharper angle of light). I guess that is related to the lady representing the sun and truly radiating light in all directions? If so, I think the tree shadows on the right need to be even sharper angled. In particular when I look at the light source that is casting light on their trunks. It seems to come from a different angle than the "Sun" Lady.
- I see an ear with earring on the right of her face (left of the picture). Although she seems to be facing straight forward, there's no ear to be seen on the left side of her face (the right of the picture .... although upon closer examination there seems to be a line that could be representative of an ear... yet the ear ring is missing). Maybe she was with van Gogh or Cezanne: cutting off her left ear? And again, I'm puzzled by the white strands of hair, one reaching out all the way to the middle/second tree (and suddenly stopping there, as if having found it's "home"/ "merging with the light cast on the left side of the tree trunk).
- Suddenly I perceive the white area as her right arm (the light coming from the left), covering/hiding part of her face and ending in a fist-ed hand (on which a third tree has grown in, with an extending 'tangle' of the hair lock). Very much an image of defense, not surrender (as in passion). Also now notice a similar (yet this time "tornado" shaped) hair lock reaching out to the middle tree, attempting to make/hold onto contact. In the mean time this black figure is still hanging in the balance, blinded by her light and no other place to go! It seems to me he's about to fall into the abyss any time, just with one flick of the index finger!!
- Why did you choose to cut off the top of her head (and the barren trees for that matter)?
- I'm intrigued by the roots of the two barren trees: the one on the left has an interesting "quirk" at the end - not sure if I've ever seen a tree growing/suspending "above" ground? I also think the shadowing is deceiving/not in sink with the light source ... it seems as if you're employing at least two sources of light (but whom am I?).
Just an afterthought: The tree roots remind me of leeches on an arm...
- Last, but not least I find myself drawn to and intrigued by the bottom right (of the picture) - it represents one of my most favorite (quilting) fabrics, designed by Katie Pasquini Masopust a few years ago (and I own a piece in my fabric stash!).
Why the rather circular pattern in different sizes, supporting this black/white rendering? It seems on the heavy side for the rest of your picture. Was it to balance the black guy slam in the middle of your piece of Art? Did you consider moving out of a symmetrical/in the middle lay-out? Or using a similar black design, yet not with circles, but an overall design more in sink with the rest of the shapes used in this picture (i.e. hair locks, tree branches, eye lashes/brows and what not)?
In case you'd like to give me feedback on my feedback, please contact me at creativequiltdesign@me.com
Wishing you a bright future (how did you enjoy watching these Summer Olympics?),
Marga de Bruijn - van den Honert ... your Mom's Elementary School Friend! (She might never want to talk to me again after this email).
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Marga, I shall try to reply properly (do not get so many comments to chack daily but saw your comment and am always happy with all thoughts!)
I think pondering or surprise at the unusual sight might describe it well. Although my images are usually inspired by unconscious feelings somewhat and I do my best interpreting in hindsight, it might also help to listen to the PJ Harvey song. Harry Clarke would mostly explain why I chose for ink.
I will take the hesitance and not making eye contact. It is a question after all: is this desire? is it enough to lift us higher to lift above... The barren trees.. not sure.. ask me in a year
Meanwhile I was falling in love and feeling radiant so yeah, the idea of light being reflected is well described. Though I must say in the song she is the sun. Artistic freedom
There is no earring it is a lock of hair. There is an ear on her left side, slightly tucked behind the hair, better seen in hte fukk blown original where the inked sots of shade show better too!
REALLY like the idea of the other arm, can see what you see! maybe there was a hint of defense too.. very likely. although to work and arm in there I';s have to redo the whole image. hmmm he was about to fall in the abyss and he did
but off head was because I wanted to focus on the eyes and the song is about a sunset. So very much thought about.. also while sketching layouts this worked well to portray the feeling I wanted, it leaves some room for imagination too.
I do not see the multiple light sources, do agree that the trees could have had a little more outward shadow. Tree roots do have quirky endings sometimes and I might ave traveled too much but that seems normal to me
For the bottom right: nottoo happy with it but cosidere a lot of options. yet is is to balancen the picture but also because there should be a very strong shadow there. the low setting sun would cast strong shadows als why the man is so dark. However I find the pattern of earth too stylised. though still beteer than turning it black as ink (how fitting)
Thankyou for your feedback (you should put up some quilts on deviantart!) I'll mail this to you too! Nice to know people still keep an eye on my art!
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I love this, well done. The line work in the hair carries the piece horizontally and the figure centers the work, very clever.
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I think it is finished. It is fantastic. Obviously if you do add something on the left it would be another arm, I would make the fingers also interact with the small silhouette.
++ love it!
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I presume the reason you requested feedback is that you know you did a lot of good things in this piece, but you feel something just doesn't seem right.
Overall, this is an excellent piece with a lot of skill and good ideas, nicely surreal and yes, obviously influenced by Clarke. I like the trees growing on the "bank" of her arm.
So what doesn't seem right?
= Her arm is essentially disembodied but also at an angle that would be impossible without breaking it off. This was the first thing that jumped out at me after my initial reaction to the piece.
= The completely blank section of the drawing felt, to me, unbalancing to the entire work.
= You mix too many styles of pen work -- the wavy, swirled lines, the stipple, the solid black/whites and that series of black circles in the lower right -- without having a reason for using each one for specific effect.
Overall, a good piece with wonderful ideas, though.
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Whoa, sorry I just realised I never replied to this one.
First off the arm, I realised in the sketch but then again, if she is the sun on the horison and her face is that size then her arm would be too small too and no one able to reach that far. It is surreal- so this one is ' allowed'
the white space is the thing that disturbed me. It needs to be light for the composition but I need ot balance it more somehow. I'm still not sure if I should leave it or try to find something, I'll know when I find something I guess)
The styles of pen were also as a choice and definitely used for a specific effect. (thought you are entitled to your opinion there, it i art after all and I lke to hear peoples opinion) the only one I'm not entirely happy with is the dark behind her arm (the bog blots) but I didnlt want to make it a solid shadow.
But yeah, I was moslty looking for ideas to finish the piece off
thanksoyu for your response!
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Glad you like it 
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I believe that a lakeside styled choice for the bottom left is apparent.
BUT
I think if you draw a lake there (or any mass of water)
perhaps under it should be a flooded valley
as if for the creation of a dam.
(for it may be that your thoughts at this time are a wanted flood behind a mental block).
And perhaps to further enhance this demonstration of
what is past what is come thought
Maybe draw deserted houses / cottages apparent below the water.
I see (in my view) this is fascination of the seated figure is this conflicted piece.
The figure almost looks like he / she (though i think he) is willing to push off and
swim in that drowned past, with one hand flat down ready to express a physical leaving force away from the sitting position he is in.
His other hand though is at rest on his knee...showing his indecision to rest at this point.
The last thing to understand is that women is his seat and she holds him as lightly as a
Bird that my flutter away.
SO
I think either a small body of water with drowned houses that one may swim in the past of without drowning a completely as the buildings
OR
A chasm with flying harpy creatures that beg for the jump
To be a fatal fall that ends in pieces torn before the ground
Reaches up to end the indecision.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
But hey im writer
What do I know about drawing
or you haha
I DO believe that this piece is NOT done
At least in your mind
Yet
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Interesting, my brother went for the lake or at least a body of water too, but wanted it in the form of a tear from her eye... which would work compositionwise, but I am afraid to add to the imagery as it was inspired by the song from PJ harvey and my point in time.., there was nothing else, the focus is on the man, or as my friend said, not sure because she seems she might be looking past him.
I like the way you suggest she is holding him, always interesting to see how one's art gives insight to ones own mind.
The images you give me would be nice if this piece would have a couple ones to follow up on it (writers style/comic book style) the begging harpies would be an interesting antagonsit too, (and possibly make it SOB worthy) but for now let them figure out if this is desire...
And writers are good, they give insightful comments! Plus I think writing and art is not so far apart, it is just another option to give shape to ones innermost stuff. Writing can be more concrete, more immediately satisfying, art is stil more symbolic, hidden in a way. I write sometimes... sometimes words take shape before the image
But by all means I hope you will always give your opinion this freely cause I love it!
And you are right, it is not entirely finished, I haven't signed it yet. Thankyou for the confidence of a
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You will figure it
And the well of you
from which you drew
Will take the last
Creative bucket drops
And make
A crystal clear
Scene
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I agree with teluete. The open white area lets the eye fall off the image, rather than bringing it back in. Lovely lines, though.
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Glad you like them lines! any ideas as to filling white space?
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There is that dark area with the circles on the lower right under the arm that feels like water to me; I would pull that around and complete the bottom of the image, to balance the composition. You wouldn't have to do the exact same pattern if you didn't want to, even just some more dark areas on the white edges would provide that stop for the eyes. Then add in some texture or curve in the dark area to bring the eyes back into the image. As long as everything is circling back towards the parts of the image you want to emphasize, it will work. Provide that opportunity for movement on the part of the viewer and they will linger longer over your details.
I hope that helps.
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The white space on the left makes it feel a bit unfinished but it's absolutely gorgeous work! <3
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That was my problem too... Any ideas of what could be there? I was thinking of light pattern of circles/ ground texture like (like on the right behind the arm but not filled in and possibly not even full circles) just an indicatiopn of substance?
Thanks for your response!
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