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atsy — From Ashes
Published: 2011-08-04 03:24:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 143; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Description
We've all grown up nowGone our own separate ways,
I found myself now.
I've finally escaped
You were so good to me
Do you know who I am today?
And I can see it now
How the world has faded
And time has gone and turned
Everybody gray
This old town
Has turned to ashes
All the good times burned away
Now there's nothing left here to live for
Nothing inside telling me to stay
I can hear your voice right now
While I tell you how I spoke out
And you say congratulations
But I close my eyes
And I can see you now
Weary with tired eyes
Faded just like mine
And I can see it now
How the world has faded
And time has gone and turned
Everybody gray
This old town
Has turned to ashes
All the good times burned away
Now there's nothing left here to live for
Nothing inside telling me to stay
I know the sadness eats at you,
We can build a town anew
How this world has faded,
We can return the skies to blue
Old souls don't grow young again,
But we can replay the tunes they've sung
And smiles won't come as easy
But let us dance in the sun
And make something to live for
Comments: 8
Beautiful poem; I disagree about the repeated stanza though, I think it better adds to the atmosphere in the reader (:
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Thank you... I was thinking of changing a few words in the repeated stanza to make it fit a little better but I definitely want to keep it in there
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This is a really nice poem. I think anyone who has returned to a place a little bit older can relate to it. Well done!
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I agree the repeated stanza isnt workn lolz and i LOVE the last stanza
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I'll try taking it out later... Thanks for the imput
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This poem is enthralling. Going to add this one to favs, it's the best one you wrote.
But one thing The stanza is repeated twice, I don't think it adds to the poem. Did you do it purposely to instill stronger imagery into the reader's mind?
"And I can see it now
How the world has faded
And time has gone and turned
Everybody gray
This old town
Has turned to ashes
All the good times burned away
Now there's nothing left here to live for
Nothing inside telling me to stay
"
This poem reminds me of ghost towns from the the wild west.
If i may suggest you should consider joining #OnlyPoetry group. Like 5000 members so you'd get a lot more hits. It's what I did, hoping for some meaningful feedback.
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