Beaple In reply to ashellessmind [2012-03-06 16:29:28 +0000 UTC]

No, it's just this: [link]
but better, now.

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ashellessmind In reply to Beaple [2012-03-07 08:38:44 +0000 UTC]

I know what it is, but I question whether it's really any better.

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Beaple In reply to ashellessmind [2012-03-08 06:41:00 +0000 UTC]

Do you find it to be any worse?

My Case:

The vertical reading always bothered me, just because it wasn't immediately obvious. I had printed it out on lined paper, and I liked the frame of reference the lines gave the words.

I was just going to do a simple white on black with the lines and the words horizontal - but then the lines reminded me of a minimalist version of some of the mod outer-space artwork from the '60s, and the subject matter seemed appropriate.

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ashellessmind In reply to Beaple [2012-03-08 10:10:16 +0000 UTC]

I simply find the whole poem, and especially the title, to be a little bit cheesy.

And I really do not intend any pun.

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Beaple In reply to ashellessmind [2012-03-08 16:23:34 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha, well, cheesy or not, the emotion was genuine. The old title was kind of a pun on a girl's name (the one who inspired the emotion), but I don't feel this way about her anymore, so I decided it needed a change. The notion that the moon is made of green cheese better reflects my feelings towards her, now - so it seemed more appropriate.

This one is a personal favorite of mine. At that time, it opened up a whole world of possibilities in poetry for me - the physicality of words. 3 years later, I don't know that I've made the same leaps and bounds I was making then.

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ashellessmind In reply to Beaple [2012-03-10 02:06:14 +0000 UTC]

I think what you experience when you read this poem is nostalgia that you are mistaking for good poetry.

I think that what we experience is a poem that is simple and only has the basics of what makes your current poetry good, because it is three years behind you.

I think that the other people who have commented on this and said that it's a great poem and great improvement don't know shit about poetry.

If that makes me elitist, then I am an elitist. But I am also right.

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Beaple In reply to avfc4me [2012-03-01 03:03:52 +0000 UTC]

No? It's this: [link]

I pulled it out to stylize it, and this happened, lol
And I changed the title, because the original title was a reference to a girl, and needed to be changed. "Green Cheese" better reflects how I feel now, lol

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avfc4me In reply to Beaple [2012-03-01 15:53:06 +0000 UTC]

aha! Yes, okay.

I like it with the tails.

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Beaple In reply to avfc4me [2012-03-02 03:03:13 +0000 UTC]

I always thought it would benefit from having the lines be visible - the words are so far apart, it's not immediately apparent that there are four sequential lines moved out of place.

And then I realized they could double as contrails!

I'm still tweaking it.

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avfc4me In reply to Beaple [2012-03-02 03:20:22 +0000 UTC]

Thankyou. For the life of me, I could NOT remember that word and it was making me crazy all day.

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Beaple In reply to avfc4me [2012-03-03 17:15:44 +0000 UTC]

I used to hang out with a bunch of "9/11 truthers" - so the word "chemtrail" is burned into my brain, which is just a portmanteau bastardization of "contrail".

God, I hated them.

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avfc4me In reply to Beaple [2012-03-03 17:25:29 +0000 UTC]

That's...baffling.

It's kind of like hearing that Chevy Chase spends his free time with the Kardashians, or that Mayakovski most happily drank with the woman who wrote Twilight...

Explain yourself. And...make it good. Lie, if you have to.

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Beaple In reply to avfc4me [2012-03-04 05:51:59 +0000 UTC]

Well... okay... perhaps I over simplified that. Had I realized the impact, never would I have...
Anyways
There was a good friend of mine and his group of friends - he was the only one of them at the time to have moved out - and so everyone used to hang out at his place and drink heavily and smoke marijuana, etc. Two of these friends, really a friend and his friend, were 9/11 truthers and used to spout all their Loose Change bullshit. No one else really knew anything (except for me - who only knew enough to know a paranoid conspiracy theory when I heard one [I watched X-Files my whole childhood - education]) and so they all just kind of agreed.

Chemtrails and the illuminati and all that seem to be included in the area of thought, for some reason, so I got to hear all about that stuff, too. I remember bits and pieces.

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avfc4me In reply to Beaple [2012-03-04 07:28:00 +0000 UTC]

See...and I am a fan of conspiracy theories. I am! Why not? The world as it is is boring at worst, and randomly amusing at best. Why NOT stick some intent and a bit of sneaky and a dash of creepysubversiveness in there? It's what mystery tales are all about.

BUT. A good mystery tale doesn't say, "Aha! The US blew up its own planes!"...

and then forgets to explain what ACTUALLY happened to the people who were on the plane. Moved to a desert island somewhere? Were all really agents of the Government and are now living upstanding lives in the middle of Iowa somewhere? Were taken to a remote location, somehow magically avoiding the millions of nervous eyes turned skyward, not to mention twitchy air traffic controllers who'd just had THE worst day of their lives...and NOT ONE saw the plane, or they ALL saw it and were sworn to secrecy, right?

Eh. See? I LOVE a good story, but I love a GOOD story. Ye' gotta be able to answer the obvious. And...the truthers? They don't even ask. Which is ... funny, given the whole, "blah blah blah we're all brainwashed we can't see the truth..." line that's so often handed out.

*sigh*
At least with Alien Abduction you didn't have to explain the missing people...we all know where they went!

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