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Description
I'm that girl that sat on the corner seat of the back row of the classroom. The girl whom everybody kept away from just because of the way she looked and how different she appeared to be. Everyday her personality and her self confidence grew dim. That bright flashing light, slowly fading away.

I'm that girl whom you thought was just a loser and didn't want any friends.

As, I cannot explain myself now, having to live everyday, being beaten.
Abused, terrified, for almost every second of my day.

Even though school was a horror, in a terrible way, it was a cause to escape my terrible life.

I kept real quite in school. I just kept to myself. Never told a soul. Now, I regret that fact and have to face so many years of silence. The growing pain each day brought to me. I'm still pretty silent, keeping to myself. Holding onto my feelings as best I can.

If for one second I let myself feel, I am doomed. I cannot gain control of them. My feelings are like a whole person, another person inside of me. And that other person, doesn't want to be here. Not in the slightest. That person wants to die. That person has no desire to live. So I have to try and gulp that person down as far as I can, before it takes over me.

I'd rather not feel a single thing, than have myself feel every slightest pain I have been refusing to admit to myself all these years. Why feel when all you feel is terrifying pain, that scares yourself, the people around you and you end up hurting the people who care.

I cannot let myself do this. The only reason why the person inside me wants to die, is because it's so sad it cannot live anymore. I, myself, cannot even look after me properly, let alone the feelings attached to me.

Description
I'm that girl that sat on the corner seat of the back row of the classroom. The girl whom everybody kept away from just because of the way she looked and how different she appeared to be. Everyday her personality and her self confidence grew dim. That bright flashing light, slowly fading away.

I'm that girl whom you thought was just a loser and didn't want any friends.

As, I cannot explain myself now, having to live everyday, being beaten.
Abused, terrified, for almost every second of my day.

Even though school was a horror, in a terrible way, it was a cause to escape my terrible life.

I kept real quite in school. I just kept to myself. Never told a soul. Now, I regret that fact and have to face so many years of silence. The growing pain each day brought to me. I'm still pretty silent, keeping to myself. Holding onto my feelings as best I can.

If for one second I let myself feel, I am doomed. I cannot gain control of them. My feelings are like a whole person, another person inside of me. And that other person, doesn't want to be here. Not in the slightest. That person wants to die. That person has no desire to live. So I have to try and gulp that person down as far as I can, before it takes over me.

I'd rather not feel a single thing, than have myself feel every slightest pain I have been refusing to admit to myself all these years. Why feel when all you feel is terrifying pain, that scares yourself, the people around you and you end up hurting the people who care.

I cannot let myself do this. The only reason why the person inside me wants to die, is because it's so sad it cannot live anymore. I, myself, cannot even look after me properly, let alone the feelings attached to me.