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bite06me — Open
Published: 2004-02-19 05:33:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 316; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 38
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Description
I can't place it into wordsThey wouldn't do any justice
but you, my closest friend
You just tore me apart.
The glances, remarks they all built up
The glass's filled to negitive
I gave my heart- and love to you
Just to have the chance to see again
Both ripped and scattered
All over the floor.
You trapped me in a smile
Made me feel all was right
I should have guessed the end
It was so clear, so obvious
I was blinded by nothing
Your eyes looked so lively
It wasn't until now i noticed
There was, is. a vacancy so bleak and black
Your pale skin, once so beautiful
Now greying, almost ash
Finally, I've noticed you're just half dead.
and my eyes are wide open,
once closed.
Comments: 24
Wow this is a good poem. I wish some of my poems were good like this, but I still have alot of work. Great Job. Later.
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'There was, is. a vacancy so bleak and black'
^ nice use of correction, added emotion
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i write emotions too much.
i think i might take a break and submit my nonemotional poems-
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anytime, and hey, if youve got some non-emotional stuff I'd love it hear--er--read it too.
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it will be joyous.
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awesome...i really like this one..... especailly the last few lines great job
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damnation
i just said i lied this one
i meant i liked this one
LIKED
aaaaah
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"and my eyes are wide open,
once closed."
Amazing ending.
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Why cant i fav more than once?!?!??
GAH!
Loved it Holly, loved it
Aiyee! thank yous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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