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Published: 2011-06-18 02:04:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 43; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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As the cold knife went through his broken heart his sad painful life flashed before his eyes. He could feel the warm blood dripping down his cold chest. For the first time in a long time he smiled. His arms dropped from the hilt of the long, crude blade he had just shoved into his chest. Then he went limp and fell over, the rain pouring down on his cold lifeless body. He was finally with his one true love."She is H-O-T hot! Man how do you expect to get her?" exclaims Frank.
"Oh I will find a way," says Jack
"When pigs fly" chuckles Nick. They both start cracking up.
"What you don't believe I can get her?" they both shake there heads.
"Well I'm going to prove you guys wrong!" he says as he walks off toward the cute blond girl sitting on the mall bench reading a book. He gets half way there when this good-looking guy comes up to her and kisses her saying "Ready to go babe?" Nick and Frank start laughing so hard. Frank almost falls off is seat. "Oh shut up!"
"Don't worry man" laughs nick "you will eventually find that special girl."
"Then she will get taken by some good-looking muscular guy who any girl would die for!" frank exclaimed. They both start laughing again.
"Come on man I got a bag of weed at my house and my parents are gone," whispers nick. "It'll make you feel a lot better about your recent bombing" more laughter.
"Haha very funny. It's tempting but maybe later I'm about to fail almost every one of my classes and if that happens my mom will flip a bitch"
"Suit yourself man."
"More for us" Frank chuckled.
The next day… "Damn it!"
"What's wrong?" asks nick
"My fucking locker wont open!"
"Dude that's not your locker" Says nick.
"Oh" Jack says sheepishly.
"Dude quit stressing so much about the test you will do fine"
"I suppose your right," he says opening his locker.
"I am right."
A week later… "Fuck man I'm screwed!"
"Dude a C isn't that bad for a test" says nick
"I'm going to fail math!"
"Who cares?"
" I do I don't want to end up working at fucking burger king my whole life!" Jack says as he slams his locker shut. Just as his best friend Anna walks by "Hey wait up!" he calls after her. "See you later nick!" without waiting for a reply he catches up with the cute brunette that he befriended in 3rd grade and they talked all the way to class. After school while waiting for the bus Nick and Frank are hang out at the flagpole and Jack approaches them.
"Hey there's Romeo. Where is Juliet?" laughs Nick.
"Me and Anna are just friends!"
"Sure you are" teases Frank.
"Oh shut up you guys," he says blushing a little. "My bus is here I got to go."
A week later Jack decides to bring Anna and Nick to a football game because their favorite team the Green Bay Packers are playing in the super bowl. Half time comes and they are down by 28 points. The 3rd quarter comes around and they are making a come back. 1 minuet and 30 seconds left they are down by 3 are 20 yards away and have the ball. They hike the ball and the quarterback throws it seemingly at random just before he gets tackled some one catches it and they run for it but someone from the other team chases him down he is 10 yards from the touch down zone. The opponent is closing in 5 yards the other team is right on top of him. 4 yards 10 seconds. It looks all over for the Packers. Although as soon as the other team reaches him he jumps over one guy ducks under another he may make it. 3 yards 8 seconds. 2 yards 5 seconds. 1 yard 3 seconds. He gets tackled at the touchdown line. Although at the last second he throws the ball back to a teammate right behind him who jumps over the opponent and into the touch down zone with only 0.34 seconds to spare. The crowd roars. The trio jumps out of their seats along with the rest of the large crowd. Anna kisses Jack. Nick stares in awe. Jack and Anna both back away from each other and blush. That was the best kiss of his life. Not because she was a really good kisser but because it felt so right like their lips were made to be together. They walked home that night in silence. Nick separated Anna and Jack. Anna was dropped off first. Then they went to Nick house. Jack was left alone thinking about the events that transpired. Remembering the tingling he felt when she had kissed him how right it felt. Then he remembered the day they met when some 4th graders started picking on the 1st grade kids and Anna came to there rescue the little 3rd grade girl. The 4th graders decided to pick on her then Jack stepped in and scared the 4th graders away. Why had he remembered it so vividly? In fact he remembered every moment he ever shared with her. He then realized that he loved her and always had. He called her the next day and realized that he memorized her number.
"…ring…ring…ring…Hello?' Even Anna's voice was so beautiful.
"Hello?" she asked again. He had momentarily forgotten how to speak he finally mustered a hello.
"Jack?"
"Ya… I wanted to ask you something but I want it to be in person. Can you meet me at the park?"
"Ummmmm sure I will see you there in a few minuets."
"Okay ummmmm see you soon bye"
"Bye"
Later as promised Anna is at the park and Jack walks up to her.
"What's up?" Anna says.
" I…ummmmm…Will you…ummmmm"
" Come on spit it out"
"Will you go out with me?"
"Yes" she says instantly. "I have been waiting for you to ask me that since 3rd grade."
He smiles and says "Good because I thought you were going to laugh at me" She kissed him and didn't stop till she couldn't hold her breath any more.
They were the happiest, cutest couple you have ever seen they were perfect for each other. They dated for 5 years. Then one day they went to a party and got drunk. When they left the party it was cold and they were drunk so they decided to take a car they were cruising down the road at a good 80 miles an hour. Jack (who was driving) saw a pink elephant and swerved while stomping on the breaks the car skidded across the road the screeching noise that the tires made pierced their eardrums. BAM! Jack was flung forward but his air bag softened the impact a little bit. He was knocked unconscious; when he came to he looked over at his love and saw the scarlet blood oozing from her chest where the branch was protruding from her chest. She coughed out some blood and said "Jack …coughs out more blood… I… I…"
"Hang in there my love you will make it!" Jack says desperately. She laughs a little and says
"No…no I wont. I …coughs out more blood… I l-l-love y-you."
Those were the last words she ever spoke. "I love you too," Jack cried for hours. Days. Weeks. Years. He lived life half alive. He was in jail during Anna's funeral for drunk driving and was charged for the death of his beloved Anna. After 3 years he got out on parole for good behavior. The first thing he did was head strait to his loves grave. He had spent all the money he had in his name on flowers for her grave. He laid down the flowers on her grave. Then the ring he had bought for her. He was going to propose to her the next morning but he killed her. The rain started slowly at first then got faster. The tears poured out of his eyes as he took out the knife. "I'm so sorry my love It was my fault I talked you into it…I'm so sorry," he said as he brought the knife up to his chest. "I'm so sorry." The rain was pouring now. He pushed the knife into his chest and as the cold knife went through his broken heart his sad painful life flashed before his eyes. He could feel the warm blood dripping down his cold chest. For the first time in a long time he smiled. His arms dropped from the hilt of the long, crude blade he had just shoved into his chest. Then he went limp and fell over, the rain pouring down on his cold lifeless body. He was finally with his one true love…
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Comments: 9
DecibelPoetry [2011-09-17 16:31:42 +0000 UTC]
I like it!
There's alot of emotion in it, especially near the end
my suggestion is that you get rid of any irrelevant info in the story. i didn't really understand why the part about the blonde and the C on the math test were in there.
Other than that, I seriously liked it! Like I said, you put alot of emotion into it, and your imagery in the beginning was great. keep it up!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bluefruityloop In reply to DecibelPoetry [2011-09-20 03:14:44 +0000 UTC]
thanks i know i put alot into it maby to much lol but in any case thx for the advice i will try to take out some un needed info now i have another idea for a story but idk how to start it. Wanna help?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DecibelPoetry In reply to Bluefruityloop [2011-09-21 04:24:40 +0000 UTC]
Hmm... Sure! What's your idea?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bluefruityloop In reply to DecibelPoetry [2011-09-23 04:31:18 +0000 UTC]
lol one day to late i got it but i can still share with you my idea its going to be about these two kids who grew up together boy and girl and eventualy after the girl gets into some siriouse trouble with guys and drugs they fall in love and live happily ever after basicly but with alot more drama in between i like my self some drama lol XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DecibelPoetry In reply to Bluefruityloop [2011-09-24 01:29:39 +0000 UTC]
sounds good! But i wouldn't say I'm the best at drama
well maybe, but I need inspiration for that kinda stuff, I can't just get it off of my head...
okay so.. what kind of drugs? cigarettes, weed, etc?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bluefruityloop In reply to DecibelPoetry [2011-09-27 01:28:41 +0000 UTC]
um more of all of them like ecstasy weed and sex. (i know not a drug but you can still be addicted so i think it qualifies)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DecibelPoetry In reply to Bluefruityloop [2011-09-28 01:04:11 +0000 UTC]
ok... i dont know how much i can help u since i dont really write avout weed and sex and stuff, but ill try my best!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Bluefruityloop In reply to DecibelPoetry [2011-09-28 01:13:07 +0000 UTC]
ok thx i havent even gotten that far yet lol but i will ask when i get there
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