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bouncing-splitpin — Pathway
Published: 2005-07-10 19:44:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 83; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description
A pathway once so pure,beauty, calm, serenity.
Now abandoned, left to nature
at last sucomes to her wishes.
The thorns claw their way to presidence,
leaving her pale self, jagged, ripped,
a deepest pool of self loathing.
Curved, the spikes begin to grip.
Her last pathways shrinking as
the hours fly by.
The longer left abandoned,
the closer she falls to death.
All she needed was one ray of light,
one dream, one hope.
Yet all turned their backs.
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Comments: 6
thank you for understanding this one it mean alot.
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hmmm not really my cup of tea im affraid! for me the lines dont flow very well into each other. its like one block of lines followed by another. some rhyming and maybe even a structure of stanza's would help?
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its ok not everyone likes everything someone writes and i cant expect people to be feeling the same as i was when i wrote something. For me it has had time spent on being structured and i know exactly how i have written it to put emphasis on words and thoughts. Maybe i didnt put it across very well and thats something i have to work on. Also i didnt really want it to rhyme some of my stuff rhymes and some of it i write not to rhyme because i dont think it suits my mood or emotions or something. Sorry this turned into a really long winded answer.
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thank you so much! im glad u like it!
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