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braceletsofsmoke — Blood Stained Pillows
Published: 2003-07-30 19:36:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 213; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 9
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Description
blood stained pillowsabsorb my broken tears of yesterday
eyes bloodshot
pouring tears
breaths sharp
like knives, needles
puncture skin
pain, so much pain
memories of clear nights
and clean sheets fill my mind
sleepless nights
filled with thoughts, wonderings
blood stained sheets engulf me
blood stained pillows suffocate me
just from tears
my silly little tears
Comments: 11
Damn!!!!!!!!!!! This is amazing... creepy & honest. Great job!
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truthfully i think you have two very good lines, the last two. they have impact but don't fit the rest of the poem, why have you chosen those lines? the bathos at the end just doesn't fit with the poem. i mean you have all the usual teenage-agnst cliches but in the end come out with an anti-climax. hmmm, try starting a poem with the last two lines instead of writing what has been written a million times before.
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It was the last two lines of this poem that caught my attention.
'just from tears
my silly little tears'
I'm not sure why but very nice
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Your pain is real and you make the reader feel it. Short but sweet, I like it.
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The italics screwed up the rest of the page
But, it's still cool
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ooohhhhh. love it!!! great portrayment of fealings!
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I'm liking the imagery with the breaths... to be fair, it's probably not a wholly original idea (probably not at all 
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