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braceletsofsmoke — Dream or Reality ll
Published: 2003-09-07 21:51:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 243; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 16
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Description Only in your dreams am I real.
Where thoughts bloom like budded roses
And monsters become your hunter

Alone, I'm left to lie in the streets,
Where my worst fears search for me
Smelling my scent and hearing my rasps

You bound and gagged me,
Pulled ropes tightly around my body, hindering my escape.
So I'm left without a choice,
You cant even hear me screaming

Your so desperate to make me a reality
That you keep me here, held prisoner in this baron land,
I plead with you, hands shaking and heart beating fast
And with a twinkle in your eye, and a curve of smile on your lips
You shake your head and utter one, simple word

I'm trapped in your dreams
As you still hope that one day I'll be yours; alone.
Kept as your slave,
To keep you occupied for all of time

I wish something I would say could change your mind
But my rushed words fall on deaf ears

So quiet I'm going to be
And quiet I'm going to stay

Until you untie me
And set me free.
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Comments: 14

Rosebud1313 [2004-06-16 10:13:01 +0000 UTC]

Nice job! This one is more graphic. Great job!

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windinhishair138 [2003-10-02 22:56:10 +0000 UTC]

i love love love this poem!!!! truly one of the most amazing pieces i have read ever!! i love it! lol great job! A+

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KittiesGoShoot [2003-09-17 19:38:46 +0000 UTC]

very nice poetry I like the trapped and haunting feeling expressed in this. It's all very nicely written, but I especially like the way the it ends :

"So quiet I'm going to be
And quiet I'm going to stay

Until you untie me
And set me free."

love that part

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drewpy [2003-09-17 02:58:23 +0000 UTC]

To me it reminds me of a controlling relationship. Where your boy or girlfriend just ties you down and only lets you live their life.

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kamelin [2003-09-16 20:37:13 +0000 UTC]

One of my strong fears

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mech61 [2003-09-09 23:27:52 +0000 UTC]

The other was great I thought but somehow youve improved on perfection. Your poetry is just brilliant sally, i love the feeling of her being his dream even though she doesnt want to be. Cant stop people from dreaming hehehe.

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alwayzdazd [2003-09-09 15:18:38 +0000 UTC]

That was very haunting..and the finality of giving in, settling for prison..was captivating..excellent work.

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Guitarsinger [2003-09-09 05:54:40 +0000 UTC]

This is a beautiful piece of work you have produced here. The subject matter is so haunting, and you have worded it such that I can see everythign happening, and I feel the feelings of the people..the desperation, the giving in...so wonderful!

+ fav by the way

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braceletsofsmoke In reply to Guitarsinger [2003-09-09 13:33:03 +0000 UTC]

thanks so much for the comment and fav

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shelcatzoe [2003-09-08 19:52:14 +0000 UTC]

very awesome...i think this is a bit better than the original...but i liked that one too ...nice work

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badblokebob [2003-09-08 15:07:40 +0000 UTC]

I think there are perhaps the odd line or two that I find myself missing from the original, but all-in-all this piece is better written with a fuller use of the idea. Good work, as always

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rubenesque [2003-09-08 14:58:37 +0000 UTC]

I agree perfectly executed. Great job! - R

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soulburntdown77 [2003-09-07 23:48:09 +0000 UTC]

I had commented before that it seemed unfinished and now it's as close to 'perfect' as anything could ever be. Excellent work here, my friend!

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phishbells [2003-09-07 23:32:22 +0000 UTC]

Wow...

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