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Description
Height: 5 foot 2
Weight: 213 lbs
Age: 17
Bio: Collin Elbowear was an unhappy farm boy. He always had to do chores and because of this, never made any real good friends.
One day, Collin was out doing his chores, planting the potatoes, carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, strawberries, cows and bodies in their necessary spots, when a rather unusual event took place. Bush did something good for once that enriched America’s culture.
Because of this, God was proven not to exist, which doesn’t really make sense, but so what. God then decided to shoot out a smelly missile of hate and despair. This missile just so happened to come down on earth and hit the exact spot where Collin and some vegetables were.
Thus, Collin was transformed into… something. Collin’s DNA was rewritten almost as inaccurately to his original DNA as the House of the Dead movie to its videogame brethren. His feet became potatoes, his head’s exterior became a pot and his entire left arm became one big hunk of cauliflower (which ticked him off since he’s allergic).
Collin decided to turn his whole life into being a super villain and stealing at least $2 an hour. He also figured he should change his name to fit him a little better.
“Well, let’s see here. Alright, I guess it’ll either be ‘The Thing’ or ‘Cabbage Patch Man,’ said Collin.
“Hey, where’re you going, Harry Potter! DORK!” shouted some guy in a car driving by, before throwing 55,673 eggs at Collin.
“Why, that’s Brilliant!” exclaimed Collin.

Description
Height: 5 foot 2
Weight: 213 lbs
Age: 17
Bio: Collin Elbowear was an unhappy farm boy. He always had to do chores and because of this, never made any real good friends.
One day, Collin was out doing his chores, planting the potatoes, carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, strawberries, cows and bodies in their necessary spots, when a rather unusual event took place. Bush did something good for once that enriched America’s culture.
Because of this, God was proven not to exist, which doesn’t really make sense, but so what. God then decided to shoot out a smelly missile of hate and despair. This missile just so happened to come down on earth and hit the exact spot where Collin and some vegetables were.
Thus, Collin was transformed into… something. Collin’s DNA was rewritten almost as inaccurately to his original DNA as the House of the Dead movie to its videogame brethren. His feet became potatoes, his head’s exterior became a pot and his entire left arm became one big hunk of cauliflower (which ticked him off since he’s allergic).
Collin decided to turn his whole life into being a super villain and stealing at least $2 an hour. He also figured he should change his name to fit him a little better.
“Well, let’s see here. Alright, I guess it’ll either be ‘The Thing’ or ‘Cabbage Patch Man,’ said Collin.
“Hey, where’re you going, Harry Potter! DORK!” shouted some guy in a car driving by, before throwing 55,673 eggs at Collin.
“Why, that’s Brilliant!” exclaimed Collin.