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cake-error — night light
Published: 2011-07-26 00:37:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 133; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description
it was a past life
a beautiful time
that wasn't
really
real.
but when my mother smiles
sadly
pityingly
knowingly
at me
as I curl up in my bed
at night
it makes me wish
nothing
had ever happened
and I had
never
ever
reached out
to
know
you
at
all.
and then my mother will
ever
so
quietly
turn on my
night
light
as she turns away
to leave
and whatever fantasy I've conjured
to
get
me
through
this
crawls into the shadows
behind my head
and I shut my eyes even more tightly
so I won't see this
blank
bare
side of the bed
face
me
and stare back
at
my
pitiful
crying
eyes.
and as soon as she leaves
I stand up
shakily
such a mess
and crawl to the wall
and flick the switch
with
a
single
finger
that
so
aches
to
touch
your
face
again
and I will crawl back to bed
and sleep
in
your
(not)
embrace.
and-
and?
sometimes, sometimes-
sometimes, I feel
better.
