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celestial-divinity — Antagonistic Vindication
Published: 2004-12-13 03:44:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 216; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 3
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Description
A wilted rose carved into stoneShudders all the flesh from bone
Instinct draws near to lead you home
Escape the thought that you're alone
Cast aside the precious lies
Partake in the fantasy of your eyes
Disbelieve the true-said cries
Not yeilding to your sad demise
Whispering in your own ear
Convincing that the path is clear
Burning memories you hold dear
Forgetting all the soulful tears
Doubts burried beneath your soul
Trusting in the pre-formed mold
Thinking these thoughts makes you whole
Yet reality's touch is very cold
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Comments: 8
Nicely written. You've created some beautiful imagery here, especially in the last stanza. The diction is excellent also, particularly the "burning memories" - the fact that they are burning suggests that they are painful but also becoming lost to you because, boviously, when something burns it turns to ashes.
I love the first stanza in particular, your choice of wording is excellent. Very beautifully written in general, and the flow is wonderful. Keep it up, I would like to see more poetry of yours!
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Thank you very much! It's not often that I get such an advanced critique such as that, so you can imagine my gratitude! Thank you again!
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been through it, sucks big time, makes you feel cold
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate that!
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