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"How are you feeling today?"
   My friend, Eliza, didn't look me in the eyes. She stared straight ahead, with a look totally blank. I couldn't interpret it. "Eliza?"
   She slowly turned her head my way and looked at me. With a weak voice, she replied "Mirthless". I wasn't surprised.
   "What's wrong?" I asked. "Why are you feeling so down?" Eliza shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know…I'm just depressed. I can't explain it." She spoke slowly, in a distant voice, as if she was talking to someone who wasn't here.
   "You should come out with me. We'll go to the park, have an ice cream. You like ice cream."
    Again, she shrugged. "I don't feel like it."
   "You don't feel like anything anymore." It was true. Trying to get her to go out with me was hard nowadays. Ever since the depression started, she isolated herself in her room.
   "The doctor says it's important for you to have some sunlight. Come on, a walk will do you good."
   Eliza sighed, but agreed. "OK".
   We went to the park. There were children playing and mothers talking. Dogs were running loose and the sun was shining.
   "Beautiful day, isn't it?"
   "Yeah…" That distant voice again.
   We sat down on a bench. Eliza's eyes were hazy, still blank. I worried about her.
   "So talk to me. Tell me how you feel."
   My friend was quiet for a moment. Then she looked at me hastily, and hesitated.
   "You can confide in me, you know. I'm here for you."
   She nodded, and began to speak. "I feel…empty. Like my life has drained away. Everything is just dark. I feel like I'm living in a black hole."
   "Go on."
   "There is no joy in my life anymore. Everything is dull, gray. And I feel like I'm worthless, that this world would be better off without me. I'm in so much pain."
   "All the time?"
   "Yes."
   I became silent, trying to find comforting words. They didn't come.
   "I can't even eat anymore," Eliza continued. "The food doesn't taste anything. I have no appetite. And I sleep for ten to twelve hours per night, but I wake up exhausted. I have a hard time just doing the every day stuff. Dishes…cleaning…all my energy is gone."
   "I wish I had something comforting to say, Eliza. All that I know is that this came sudden, but that ought to mean that it could go away, too. You haven't always felt this way. You used to be happy, remember?"
   "In another lifetime."
   "In this lifetime. It might seem long ago, but it is only a few months away. If you were happy then, you could be again."
   "I don't know. It doesn't feel like it."
   "I know. But it will be better, I know it. Believe in me. Have some faith."
   "I used to have faith. But which god would impose this kind of suffering on me?"
   "Maybe there is a reason. You can't know."
   "I know the reason. I deserve it. I'm a bad person, and this is my punishment."
   "That's not true."
   "Yeah, it is."
   I tried to hold back the tears. It hurt me so much to see Eliza be in this pain. I wanted to make everything OK, with magic, with words, with anything. Something worried me even more then her emotions. Something that I couldn't get off my mind.
   "Eliza…you haven't thought about…you know…killing yourself, have you?"
   She went silent. Her gaze turned distant again.
   "Eliza?"
   Her eyes turned sharp with pain. She looked like she was physically hurting. "I have."
   God, no. Please don't let it be true. My stomach somersaulted at her reply.
   "Eliza, please, think about all the people who love you. Think about me. You're like a sister to me. If you were ever to die, I don't know what I would do."
   "I know." Her voice was weak again. Tired. "I try to fight, but…it feels like I'll never pull through. That it'll always be this way."
   "It won't. I promise you that."
   She smiled wryly, but it was mirthless. "I will hold you to that."
   "You do that." I took her hand. "Come on, how about that ice cream? Vanilla, right?"
   "Yeah… Vanilla."
   I bought us each an ice cream and we ate them in silence. I thought about all the things Eliza had said. I worried about her. Still, I felt that there had to be some hope for her. These things can't last forever.
   We sat in the park for another half an hour. Eliza didn't talk much, but watched the children play across the grass field. I held her hand, and prayed that she would be all right.
   She had to be.