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clock-wise — Anonymous suicide [NSFW]
Published: 2010-12-22 18:23:41 +0000 UTC; Views: 302; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 0
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Description I put my arm around Zoe and held her tight, while sobs shook her body. A dark circle could be seen on the shoulder of my shirt, where my best friend's tears had wet it. I stroked the back of her head carefully and rocked her to and fro like a toddler.

"But why don't they like me? What am I doing wrong?!" sobs made her difficult to understand.
"You don't do anything wrong, love! They do like you… you can't be best friends with everyone. Just be yourself and everything will be fine. Trust me, you're a lovely person!"

She pushed me away. Her swollen face a grimace of anger.
"You don't understand! You don't give a damn about people, I know that! How can you dare telling me what to do? You don't know a THING about trying to be popular! People just seem to like you, even if you're not even trying!" she started sobbing again "I mean, what do you have what I don't have? I know this sounds mean, I really don't want to hurt you, you know I love you…. But what do you have that I don't have? I am pretty, skinny, intelligent and ambitious. I never bitch about anyone and I try to be nice… nothing against you, but you are none of these things. I know this sounds arrogant, but you know I don't mean it that way!"

I hugged her again.
"I know how you mean it, love. And you're right… but people do love you because of this. Believe me: you are a lot more popular than I am! I was just invited to this birthday because I was standing with this group, while they were talking about it.  "

"Do you think so?"
"I'm sure of it, love" I gave her a kiss on the head and she stopped crying.
"Then it's okay. I was just so upset, when I wasn't invited and you were. Sorry about that!"
She brushed away her tears and started smiling.

---

The bus was empty, except for a dark figure in the back. Its head was leaning against the dirty glass of the window beside it- anyone getting onto the bus would have overlooked it for sure.
Her eyes seemed empty, staring into the endless night beneath the dirt. She didn't move. After a long time she stood up, more dead than alive, walking towards the double doors. She got off and walked along the empty road, her feet being the only sound around. Every step was as loud as a gunshot, fired in unsteady intervals by a frightened soldier. Every step dragged her body forward, as if it was moved against her will, like a rug-puppet on strings.

In an alley her legs gave way underneath her and she fell into the dirt, her body now shaking. She curled up, unable to control herself, hoping it would be over soon, but the sobs kept coming. A frantic hand reached into her bag and opened a small pocket. The knife glistened in the flickering light of the streetlamp. Gripping it tightly she stared at this small piece of metal. She couldn't breathe anymore. It laughed at her.

"You are not pretty, skinny, intelligent and ambitious! You are a lost case, just a fucking piece of dirt! People don't give a damn about you! You can't pretend to not care anymore! I know that every word they say rips a piece of your heart out! You are so ridiculous!" it giggled.
She curled up tighter to keep her body from shaking, while she tried to get some air into her lungs, but she didn't manage.

A piece of dirt!
A fucking bit of shit!
When the blade touched her skin, she stopped shaking.

Slice.
Slash.
Slice.
Breathe!

Air filled her lungs as red filled the alley. Sorrow and pain ran down her cheeks, while she felt every bit of strength draining out of her body. The blood kept flowing until her limp body lay in a sea of red tears.  

"I'm sorry, Zoe!" she whispered "I just wasn't good enough!"  
The perfect mask she had worn for years fell off; leaving the scared, nameless girl she was bleeding in the dark. As her blue eyes went black she whispered:


"You were too busy talking about yourself to notice I was crying."
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Comments: 4

toriamason [2010-12-23 00:26:05 +0000 UTC]

Aw this is so sad. And no offense but I don't much care for Zoe. She seemed narcissistic, selfish, and a bitch. Not to mention a TERRIBLE friend. But I almost felt like crying reading this. So sad; soo well written!!

It's sad how people can be stereotypical and don't realize that ANYONE can be hurting, ANYONE can be suicidal...

Good job on this. Really!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

clock-wise In reply to toriamason [2010-12-23 08:01:23 +0000 UTC]

thanks a load!
You're not meant to like Zoe... she's the kind of person I hate. I know a lot of people who are like that... the whole situation is based on my life...
I'm glad you liked it

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Miss-Mille [2010-12-22 18:30:38 +0000 UTC]

You're absolutly right. People should more care about the people around them.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

clock-wise In reply to Miss-Mille [2010-12-22 18:32:27 +0000 UTC]

thanks a lot. And thanks for the fav <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0