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Description
They tell me it’s okay to feel this way
They tell me I’m strong, because I get through the day
They tell me not to be too hard on myself
They ask me to have more patience and faith

But inside the voice still screams
I’m a failure! I’m a failure! I’m a failure!
I’m a failure, please don’t look at me!

I know I am not normal
Just to live and not crumple
I have to fight harder than them
but the voices still condemn

Self loathing grips my heart
And threatens to tear me apart
I scream and shout for it to stop
As I’m drowning in its thick red fog

I want to cry, but can’t find my tears
Not good enough to release my fears
My body trembles with dry heaving sobs
As my once hopeful spirit silently rots

But inside the voice still screams
I’m a failure! I’m a failure! I’m a failure!
I’m a failure, please don’t look at me!

My illness may be what causes me pain
But I can’t blame my failure on being insane
I know I’m just lazy, lost and dumb
It is my own fault I feel so exhaustingly numb

It is me who is unable to cope
With the easiest tasks and my lack of hope
I cannot blame it on being ill
I simple lack and always will

Other people manage it too
To live and work and simply do
I’m not just ill, my faults are blinding
I don’t deserve your understanding

And inside the voice still screams
I’m a failure! I’m a failure! I’m a failure!
I’m a failure, please don’t look at me!

But instead of getting up and change
I’m lying, watching myself fade
I just keep wallowing in self-pity
And wish I was smarter and better and pretty

I hate what I am, but do nothing to improve
I tell myself I will, but I can’t seem to move
Instead I escape into a fantasy world
Where in written words happy endings unfurled

But my reprieve is short-lived and fake
Because when I come back I’m still the person I hate
And have again lost hours where I should have worked
But I’m a lazy failure, a disappointment and dirt

Description
They tell me it’s okay to feel this way
They tell me I’m strong, because I get through the day
They tell me not to be too hard on myself
They ask me to have more patience and faith

But inside the voice still screams
I’m a failure! I’m a failure! I’m a failure!
I’m a failure, please don’t look at me!

I know I am not normal
Just to live and not crumple
I have to fight harder than them
but the voices still condemn

Self loathing grips my heart
And threatens to tear me apart
I scream and shout for it to stop
As I’m drowning in its thick red fog

I want to cry, but can’t find my tears
Not good enough to release my fears
My body trembles with dry heaving sobs
As my once hopeful spirit silently rots

But inside the voice still screams
I’m a failure! I’m a failure! I’m a failure!
I’m a failure, please don’t look at me!

My illness may be what causes me pain
But I can’t blame my failure on being insane
I know I’m just lazy, lost and dumb
It is my own fault I feel so exhaustingly numb

It is me who is unable to cope
With the easiest tasks and my lack of hope
I cannot blame it on being ill
I simple lack and always will

Other people manage it too
To live and work and simply do
I’m not just ill, my faults are blinding
I don’t deserve your understanding

And inside the voice still screams
I’m a failure! I’m a failure! I’m a failure!
I’m a failure, please don’t look at me!

But instead of getting up and change
I’m lying, watching myself fade
I just keep wallowing in self-pity
And wish I was smarter and better and pretty

I hate what I am, but do nothing to improve
I tell myself I will, but I can’t seem to move
Instead I escape into a fantasy world
Where in written words happy endings unfurled

But my reprieve is short-lived and fake
Because when I come back I’m still the person I hate
And have again lost hours where I should have worked
But I’m a lazy failure, a disappointment and dirt