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clock-wise — Mask
#anxiety #depression #emotion #emotional #feelings #hide #love #mask #suicide #anxietydisorder #depressionsuicide #mentalhealth #mentalillness
Published: 2015-02-23 22:39:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 892; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 0
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Description
You tell me I should showWhat’s going on inside
That otherwise it’ll grow
I will be swept up by the tide
Don’t you understand
That I’m trying to let you
In, but I just can’t
It’s become too natural to fool
I can’t explain my mind
Can’t allow glimpses of my head
There’s nothing left to find
Because for years I have been dead
Nothing matters, everything hurts
I can’t go on, drag myself on
The demons I try to purge
Are what I’ve become
I struggle just for you
When I just want to sleep
When everything I do
Is making darkness creep
I cling onto a life
I no longer want to live
Hang on with all my might
To the crumbling cliff
And while I do, I wear a smile
Painted on, the ink has dried
It will remain until I die
Covering the tears uncried.
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Comments: 2
I am sorry to hear that, my friend. But at least you can be yourself when you are making art, and that must be great, getting to express yourself through poetry and photography; that is one of the greatest things about art!! And you can talk honestly to people here, and other online sites, like you do with me. And a smile does not automatically equal a happy life, but it is still good to do it; I hear smiling is good for you, and think of some real reasons to smile for yourself, like: family, friends, nature, animals, love, or just living!!! I think today is so beautiful, and today I thought of how grateful I should be to have my brother; he and I are close and share things, and he truly cares for me. I also think this poem is not only absolutely beautifully told, but also so true and relatable to the people reading it!!
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I always wore a mask with therapists but I never found I could trust them enough to shake it. Feeling forced to wear a mask for so long is very difficult but for me, I decided I didn't want to be anyone but myself. And who I am is manic depressive with lots of anxieties and problems and they would just have to deal with that or not be in my life because hiding it was destroying me. I hope you come to a place where you can remove the mask and be true to yourself as well. When I did, I was so surprised at how much love and acceptance I received, which I had never gotten when I was pretending to be who everyone wanted me to be. I hope you find that!
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