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ClockworkSprocket — Clockwork Stare
Published: 2013-01-13 07:22:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 1018; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 21
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Description
[EDIT]Fixed a few minor issues with the hooves and proportioning, thanks to
A non-4th wall breaking version here: [link]
[/EDIT]
Alternate titles: "Dude...what?!" "Woah, is THAT what your soul looks like?"
Somewhat of a mild character Revamp, I guess.
First time vectoring without a complete reference. Everything from the chest-down is eyeballed. I'm sure there's something wrong with her lower half in terms of proportions, but I can't tell what.
You are NOT allowed to use this without my permission. Sorry folks.
But here, have an SVG: [link]
Clockwork Sprocket belongs to me.
MLP:FiM belongs to Hasbro and DHX Media.
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Comments: 11
Hey! This is my second critique of your stuff! e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="
Right, so first off, this is excellently vectored! The overall shape is fantastic and the proportions look spot on. It looks very show accurate as well.
I'm not sure what it is, but the hooves seem to be on a different plane than the rest of the body. Like, the hooves are "pointing" directly paralel to the bottom of the screen, while the body is at an angle. I can't really explain it, but here: [link]
I guess the hooves seem rotated a bit much.
Lastly! Shading! I think the light source is hitting from the left, so there should be some shading on the neck and on the body to the right of the mane. But, I guess they don't do that in the show.
Fantastic work!
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I definitely see where you're coming from with the legs. I've fixed the proportioning; now I need to work on that positioning. Time to nudge nodes, I guess!
As for the horn, it might look a bit off because her head is on a slight upward tilt. I'm not sure if tha comes across well in the vector, or how I'd go about indicating that, since it's a VERY subtle tilt.
And as for shading, I'm going to try and get that right. I've never tried shading before, but I figured my OC would be a good place to start.
Thanks for your thoughtful critique and good eye
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Shading is the bane of everyone's existence. *nods*
I look forward to more awesome from you!
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The more you stare
The bigger your smile gets
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I must say this IS an improvement from the original. Too bad the wrench hair pin didn't last. I thought it was cute. Both her horn and the tail look better, especially the new design you gave for the tail.
As for the body, it looks alright. Maybe you should move the "bumbs" on the back legs lower. They do feel a bit high up. The other thing I noticed is that you gave her a bit of a neck on this. The neck is totally fine and sometimes it's shown on the show [link] , but most of the time is comes right from the body where the chest line and the plot line are almost the same height. Something like this. [link]
I can't really see anything wrong with it, and the two I listed above aren't exactly problems. I really do think you did an amazing job on this without the referrence. Great job!
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Clock wears her hairpin on the left. So from this view, it wouldn't be in frame
Also, I maaaaaay have been forgetting to put it in her sketches. That's just derps on my behalf.
As for the bumps:
Yeah, the are a little high. I'll make a note of that for future reference.
As for the neck-thing:
That was there in the reference image, so I figured I would keep it. And you just wanted an excuse to use that Dash image, didn't you? XD
Thanks for the pointers.
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The Dash image was silly. I honestly meant to find one for an example and this was the first on the google image. [link]
...Okay, okay, I'll stop right there with the silly pictures. I was thinking that you may only use the pin on one side. I'm glad to hear that you still kept it!
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Shoot! I forgot to mention something in my critique. It seems like the horn was off perspective, hence the dotted lines. Though I'm not sure it would actually go there either.
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Can I grab this to illustrate a point on a critique?
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