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Description
Bella Swann: "OMGOMGOMG EDWAAAAAAAAARD!!! I want in his sparkly pants right now - except I don't 'cause this is for teens and if I'm sexually active or knowledgeable despite being basically legal then every girl who reads the books will be too and I can't have that. Until I'm eighteen. Then Edward can keep me barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen because that's what true love is, right? Right?"

Frodo Baggins: "Hmm... I have to journey through stinking marshes, fend off a giant spider, wander aimlessly through a sulphurous wasteland and deposit a ring in an erupting volcano with no-one but a fat gardener and a schizophrenic ex-hippy for company, all whilst avoiding the patrols of the greatest evil the world has ever known... WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I JUST USE PARCELFORCE?"

Elizabeth Bennett: "Why do I get the feeling that I should have Mr Darcy jump into an ornamental lake for me? And why does he look like Colin Firth now?"

Wolverine: "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Dr. Gregory House: "Hmm... so the patient's dying, possibly of flobbadobbadobbadobbadosis, possibly of narcothrepsitiotosis of the pharyngular spleen... or the little whiner coulda just caught a cold. Whatever. He's young, he's white, the producers'd never kill him off. Now, where did I put my Vicodin?"

Ron Weasley: "Thanks to Harry's knowledge of Muggles, I've stumbled across this thing called Google. Now, typey type type... Emma... Watson... naked... and lock that door."

Ellen Ripley: "So, thank goodness we got off the ship intact. I simply didn't have the heart to tell the others I'm allergic to cats."

Imhotep of Egypt: "I bring you back from the dead and you won't fish me out of this fucking chasm? You BITCH! I've half a mind to send my mate after you. What's the country code for China again?"

Edward Cullen: "Yes! She bought that I wanted to move away! Now that she's gone I can indulge in my one true love. Put on my favourite DVD, invite that hottie from the art school around, get some Ben and Jerry's in... good morning Baltimoooooooore..."

Cathy Earnshaw: "Bit nippy out."

Ophelia: "Gwibble gwibble hey nonny nonny! Where's the alligator, I must take my custard for a walk! Wheeeeee! *splish*"

T-101: "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Description
Bella Swann: "OMGOMGOMG EDWAAAAAAAAARD!!! I want in his sparkly pants right now - except I don't 'cause this is for teens and if I'm sexually active or knowledgeable despite being basically legal then every girl who reads the books will be too and I can't have that. Until I'm eighteen. Then Edward can keep me barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen because that's what true love is, right? Right?"

Frodo Baggins: "Hmm... I have to journey through stinking marshes, fend off a giant spider, wander aimlessly through a sulphurous wasteland and deposit a ring in an erupting volcano with no-one but a fat gardener and a schizophrenic ex-hippy for company, all whilst avoiding the patrols of the greatest evil the world has ever known... WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I JUST USE PARCELFORCE?"

Elizabeth Bennett: "Why do I get the feeling that I should have Mr Darcy jump into an ornamental lake for me? And why does he look like Colin Firth now?"

Wolverine: "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Dr. Gregory House: "Hmm... so the patient's dying, possibly of flobbadobbadobbadobbadosis, possibly of narcothrepsitiotosis of the pharyngular spleen... or the little whiner coulda just caught a cold. Whatever. He's young, he's white, the producers'd never kill him off. Now, where did I put my Vicodin?"

Ron Weasley: "Thanks to Harry's knowledge of Muggles, I've stumbled across this thing called Google. Now, typey type type... Emma... Watson... naked... and lock that door."

Ellen Ripley: "So, thank goodness we got off the ship intact. I simply didn't have the heart to tell the others I'm allergic to cats."

Imhotep of Egypt: "I bring you back from the dead and you won't fish me out of this fucking chasm? You BITCH! I've half a mind to send my mate after you. What's the country code for China again?"

Edward Cullen: "Yes! She bought that I wanted to move away! Now that she's gone I can indulge in my one true love. Put on my favourite DVD, invite that hottie from the art school around, get some Ben and Jerry's in... good morning Baltimoooooooore..."

Cathy Earnshaw: "Bit nippy out."

Ophelia: "Gwibble gwibble hey nonny nonny! Where's the alligator, I must take my custard for a walk! Wheeeeee! *splish*"

T-101: "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"