HOME | DD

Description
Just a personal piece I managed to do in the night. The story behind this one is kind of.. I wouldn't say unique but I do say it is something someone feels once and a blue moon.

I live in a toxic household. Within my toxic home resides my father, mother, and brother. All of them I love so deeply though my mother is not as toxic as years back, my father and brother worsened over time. I manage to merely tell them no for a task I was asked to do. The response left a wound in me that had me crying for hours and in no way of expressing myself until the late hours of the night. I was called names, told I was useless, even was told my art sells for little to nothing when I merely wanted to just lock myself in my room and draw. When I did, I was told not to even be on my own laptop when I am an adult and can state I can do what I want. But with my father in my face like that of a military man (in which he is not) and holding his hands out, shaking, though I know he wouldn't I had a fear I was going to be hit. I had in the past a moment of being caught in his blind rage and being choked by him for a moment before. I had to sneak my art piece in through the night. I had to refund some commissioners. I am losing money and time because of one simple "No".

I know this household is toxic, I know I need to leave, I know I cannot keep putting excuses, but with hours cut at work, no commissions coming in as much as I want, no donations, and nowhere to go, I have to stay here. At least until better work comes and better life turns my way. Until I can be free to let these deep wounds heal. I never in my life had grabbed my service dog and walked out the door before. But I had no choice. I was so hurt. I am still hurt.

Thanks for reading. I have nowhere else to vent. My apologies. Have a great day everyone.

Description
Just a personal piece I managed to do in the night. The story behind this one is kind of.. I wouldn't say unique but I do say it is something someone feels once and a blue moon.

I live in a toxic household. Within my toxic home resides my father, mother, and brother. All of them I love so deeply though my mother is not as toxic as years back, my father and brother worsened over time. I manage to merely tell them no for a task I was asked to do. The response left a wound in me that had me crying for hours and in no way of expressing myself until the late hours of the night. I was called names, told I was useless, even was told my art sells for little to nothing when I merely wanted to just lock myself in my room and draw. When I did, I was told not to even be on my own laptop when I am an adult and can state I can do what I want. But with my father in my face like that of a military man (in which he is not) and holding his hands out, shaking, though I know he wouldn't I had a fear I was going to be hit. I had in the past a moment of being caught in his blind rage and being choked by him for a moment before. I had to sneak my art piece in through the night. I had to refund some commissioners. I am losing money and time because of one simple "No".

I know this household is toxic, I know I need to leave, I know I cannot keep putting excuses, but with hours cut at work, no commissions coming in as much as I want, no donations, and nowhere to go, I have to stay here. At least until better work comes and better life turns my way. Until I can be free to let these deep wounds heal. I never in my life had grabbed my service dog and walked out the door before. But I had no choice. I was so hurt. I am still hurt.

Thanks for reading. I have nowhere else to vent. My apologies. Have a great day everyone.