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Published: 2016-03-26 11:54:20 +0000 UTC; Views: 560; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Both Crystal and Sans allowed the Lombax to sleep before they had to continue on their journey. The white Lombax sat beside Ratchet, politely letting him rest his head upon her lap of course she thought it would be more comfortable than the hard surface beneath their feet. “Hey, Sans.” She said turning her head towards him, without saying a word he looked over to the white Lombax with a joyless stare. “Don’t blame yourself for what happened to Papyrus, it was...beyond our control. We can’t change whatever happens to our friends, our family...and the world we grew up in.”She paused and gazed down Crystal looked pained about something as if she knew how he was feeling right now. “I wish everywhere was nothing but peace...then I realize...what would this universe be without hate or corruption?” Her heart ached heavily and she tried her best to stop herself from crying. “Kid, can I ask you something?” Questioned Sans with concern and curiosity stare, Crystal ignored that he had called her a child once again and slowly looked over to him. “Yeah, sure whatever’s on your mind.”
“Why do you punish yourself? And I’m not making jokes right now I...just want to know.” Sans slightly shrugged his shoulders as he spoke, his eyes were completely black which showed that he wasn’t lying to her, he was being serious. “I...really don’t know, never thought about it before.” She gazed down for a moment before pressing her back against the wall. “Maybe at the time I wanted to prove myself I was capable of anything...” After taking a deep breath she then gazed over to the skeleton once more. “You asked me who I was when we first met...I...didn’t tell you everything.”
“That bad, huh?” He asked. “Don’t worry, your stories are safe with me.” Sans smiled which calmed Crystal a little bit, she reached deep into her pocket a pulled out a shiny head accessory before handing it over to the skeleton to see. It was gold and unusually light, it also had a few blue gems inserted within the crown. Sans gazed at it silently unsure what to make of this mysterious accessory. “If I didn’t know any better...I’d say this awfully resembles something a queen would wear.” He said before looking over to the Lombax.
“Asoanus is just the second part of my title, I’m...Princess Asoanus, electrical member of the Order. Actually I was the creator of the Elementals too, which I may have mentioned to you before. I created a species to bring balance to the universe...it was fallen apart around us. Too many wars broke out, planets and galaxies were dying...if I didn’t do something the universe wasn’t going to last, there just wasn’t enough utopia. With the help of my brother, who I haven’t seen in...a very long time, the universe was able to cope once more. But in every story it was not to last...”
She took a deep breath Sans listened silently and decided making jokes about this may not be the best of ideas right now. Rushing her would only make the Lombax feel a lot worse so he sat there patiently and comforted her the best he could. “One day I was foretold that someone would rise up against me, perhaps try to get me onto their side. So no matter what I had to refuse whatever this Elemental would offer me, how was I suppose to know it would turn out to be the one I trusted the most...General Zoch Elfene.” Shock took the skeleton, did she really just say that the being that sent her here was the one who was by her side a long time ago?
“You mean that part metallic freak once served you?!” He questioned with a stare, his voice was a little loud and he pointed a bony thumb behind his shoulder. “Man, must have taken him a lot of time and effort to mislead you...uh...lie to you I mean.” Sans looked away realizing what he said may have also been a joke and of course wouldn’t be helping Crystal one bit. She chuckled under her breath and shook her head before raising a hand up to the skeleton.
“No, you’re okay to say that in a way he did over throw me, but while there are still Elementals willing to remain on my side I can never be dethroned by that monster...if that makes sense.” She replied. “No matter how big his armies are I’m not letting him get away for what he did to me...and the universe.” Moments later Crystal felt the Lombax move slightly as he let out a soft sleepy moan, she looked down finding him waking up. “Hey Rat, how you feeling?” She asked softly with a smile, he slowly raised his head from her.
“A lot better than before, at least I’ll think twice before picking a fight with Sans next time.” He replied. “Hey fur ball, sorry for winding you up badly hurt I wasn’t really trying to kill ya.” Said Sans as he looked over to the sleepy Lombax. “Don’t worry about it when your angry you don’t think straight.” Replied Ratchet. “He’s right I do it all the time.” Said Crystal gazing over to the skeleton she then got up onto her feet, stretching her legs as they ached.
“Where are you going?” Asked Ratchet with a curious stare. “Scouting off ahead for a moment you just give yourself a few minutes to wake up, I’m sure Sans wouldn’t mind watching you while I’m gone.” She explained with a smile, the yellow Lombax quickly got up and grabbed Crystal’s phone from her pocket. “W-What are you doing?” She asked with a curious stare. “Figuring out a few ways to help you remember this place, I know how much your going to miss your brothers.” Explained Ratchet as he began unlocking her phone.
“What makes you think-” Crystal was interrupted by Ratchet as he looked back up to her. “I’m smart enough to know how you look at them, just like me your we’re the same when we first met. It’s okay if you don’t remember I’m sure you already have so many memories locked up in your head anyway.” He explained but then Crystal gazed at him with concern. “Ratchet, you sound jealous.” He chuckled at her. “Jealous? What makes you think I’m jealous.” Crystal wasn’t fallen for it she knew what Ratchet was bothered about something, she turned to Sans. “Give us a few minutes.” She then grabbed the Lombax and pulled him far enough away so that the skeleton couldn’t hear them.
“Are you being over protective again?” She questioned with a raised brow to the Lombax. “I have no idea what your talking about.” He said trying to hide his feelings, Crystal rolled her eyes. “Come on, you know what I mean. You think I have feelings for Sans or Papyrus don’t you?” She questioned curiously once more, the yellow Lombax looked down unsure how he was going to answer her. With that look Crystal had already knew the answer to her question. “Ratchet.” She said drooping her ears at him. “Look at me.” The yellow Lombax slowly gazed up at her, he looked hurt and he frowned at the Lombax.
“It’s not like that, it never has. Thing is I don’t see a skeleton and someone like me working out, don’t get me wrong they are really sweet guys. You want to know what I was doing while you were looking for me? I was resting from a cold and trying my best not to get them involved in my situation, of course it was far too late to keep trying. So I got to know them and one day Elfene shows up, that’s when I knew they were going to get hurt...well you’ve just seen how Sans reacted to his brother’s disappearance.”
She pressed a hand upon the Lombax’s shoulder. “Your the one I love the most and your very important to me. Even if I call them my brothers they’re still just my friends, it’s important to me that my friends are kept out of harms way. Do you understand now, Ratchet? I’d never say or do anything to hurt you.” He smiled and nodded his head, Crystal smiled back before wrapping her arms around him. “I’m sorry for how I acted.” He said closing his eyes. “It’s okay, I promised your father to protect you didn’t I? Now you better get back to Sans before something bad happens to him.” She said pulling away from the hug.
“Just don’t take too long.” Before returning to the skeleton Ratchet kissed her softly on the lips. With her cheeks slightly red and a smile upon her face, Crystal watched the Lombax walk back before slowly walking off ahead. This place was so different from the previous area it was dark and damp, in a way she missed Snowdin despite it being so cold. Crystal gazed around silently perhaps to see something out of the ordinary, but how would she know if this was her first time in this place? Suddenly something caught her eye, something sticking out of the corner of the cavern “Hm, what is that?” She whispered to herself slowly she drew closer and closer.
“An arm?” She said but she couldn’t make out much from where she was standing, moving far to the side and walking closer she tried to focus on what it was. Soon a body was form that’s when she realized who it was. “Papyrus?!” She ran quickly towards the unconscious skeleton laying flat and slightly touching the wall. “Paps, thank god your alive don’t worry I’ll get you out of here!” Crystal was relieved to see him but was frightened at the same time, knowing that monster could be near by. Unexpectedly he began to wake up the Lombax moved slightly away and silently waited for him to say something. However this was not the reaction she was expecting, Papyrus gazed at her as if he was afraid of the Lombax.
“Hey, are you feeling okay?” She asked curiously and raising a brow at him. “Y-You...horrible creature...” He said to her, Crystal fell into shock but she was also confused to why he would say something like that. She stood up and shook her head as she gazed down on him. “W-What? Papyrus, I don’t understand?...” She asked her body slightly shook nervously. “Goodnight sweetheart.” Said Elfene, the Lombax quickly turned around to find him approaching from behind before her vision turned completely black.
Meanwhile back with Ratchet and Sans, they patiently waited for her to return however she was taking an awful long time. “She should have been back by now.” Said Ratchet as he looked over his shoulder to Sans, who was leaning against the wall a few feet from him. “Probably travelled further than she expected, don’t worry she’ll come back.” Replied Sans with a stare, Ratchet gazed back in front of him with concern about her. “I don’t know, she can be pretty vulnerable without someone with her.” His ears flickered to the skeleton’s approach.
“Well, why don’t we go catch her up? Surely she can’t be mad at us for that.” He said with a grin before slowly walking off. “Alright, if she says anything I’m saying it was your idea in the first place.” Ratchet followed the skeleton deeper into the caverns, after walking for some time they reached a corner. There were legs sticking out possibly a female, Ratchet halted and squinted his eyes feeling suspicious about what they were seeing. “Heh, I know those pants.” He said making a joking, Ratchet looked over. “Excuse me?” He questioned. “Yeah, Crystal wears them.” After just realizing what he had just said his face turned serious. “Wait, did I really just say that?” He questioned though he wasn’t sure it was to himself.
The yellow Lombax quickly ran off and found that it really was Crystal laying there. “Crys!” He yelled before falling to one knee trying to wake her up, soon the skeleton entered the scene unsure what had happened to her. “Y-You think she hit her head or something?” He asked Ratchet. “Yeah, looks like someone knocked her out cold. Just look at the bump on her head.” A slight painful groan left the white Lombax’s lips before she opened her eyes. “Kid, are you okay? What happened to you?” Questioned Sans, the yellow Lombax carefully helped her back to her feet.
“Elfene, caught me off guard.” She said rubbing her head as it throbbed in ache. “I don’t understand, why didn’t he just kill you or capture you when he had the chance?” Question Ratchet with a stare, but she just shook her head. “That’s something I’d like to know...he can be so surprising sometimes.” She pushed Ratchet a few steps away. “Sans, I saw Papyrus being dragged away from here. I tried to catch up before Elfene came out of no where.” This lightened the skeleton slightly and he gazed with curiosity. “R-Really? Where was he taking to?” He asked.
“The next area, Hotland. I wish I knew where exactly, I guess we just keep following the trail.” Replied Crystal, Sans tilted his head slightly puzzled to what she just said. “How do you know it’s called Hotland? You don’t even know this place’s name.” Her eyes widened and then she rubbed her forehead slightly. “Oh, I...uh...read a few books back in that snowy village. It has a library does it not?” Sans just shrugged his shoulders. “No, No I just thought I’d ask that’s all.”
“Come on we better get to this Hotland before we lose the trail.” Said Ratchet. “Then lets go.” Replied Crystal as she brushed past the Lombax, Ratchet was forced back a little and afterwards he watched as she walked off. “Is she behaving rather different to you?” Sans questioned Ratchet. “Probably just the bump on her head.” He replied before walking off, Sans looked over to Crystal and soon felt suspicious. “How could she possible know anything about the Underground apart from Snowdin?” He asked himself before walking off to catch up with the others.
“So how was it you got knocked out like that? You always tell me you sense danger before anything happens to you.” Said Ratchet walking beside the white Lombax. “I guess he got lucky this time, you trust me don’t you?” She questioned with a stare. “Hey, you haven’t lied to me about anything since you confessed the story about me and my family, and of course the promise.” He replied. “Promise?” She asked partly listening to him, he gazed confusingly. “You know, about Kaden wanting you to look after me?”
“Ratchet, step away from her.” The yellow Lombax gazed over to the skeleton and one of his eyes were glowing blue. “This isn’t her and doing a terrible job at pretending. Ask her exactly who Kaden was.” The white Lombax gazed at him and smiled. “S-Sans, come on it’s me Crystal. Who would want to pretend to be the Elemental?” She questioned. “If you really are Crystal, you’ll know exactly who Kaden was.” Said Ratchet. “Your father everyone knows that, come on your like a spitting image of him.”
“Keep asking her questions, she’s bound to get one of them wrong.” Said Sans. “Stop it, look she’s got a bump on her head and it prevents her from remembering correctly. Lets just put our hatred towards Elfene and find your missing brother.” Replied Ratchet before grabbing the white Lombax’s hand and walking off. The skeleton stood there unsure what to do, but suddenly just as they were walking Crystal turned her head to him and smiled evilly, her eyes even turned red. Sans gasped and gazed with shock.
Meanwhile in another part of the Underground, Crystal woke up to find herself in a large strange hall. She attempted to get up but found she was bounded by rope, soon she felt something moving behind her she turned her head around to find Papyrus was bound with her. “So, still think I’m a horrible creature?” She said with slight anger, Crystal then gasped after hearing an evil laugh. Elfene was walking towards them the Lombax squirmed trying to loosed the ropes. “How often does your plan change, Elfene? At first you throw me in this strange world hoping at least one creature will kill me, now what? Use me and Papyrus to kill our rescuers?” She questioned.
The skeleton gazed at her with fear. “Hey, there’s no way I’m killing you or your brother I promise you that.” She said to him before smiling hoping it would calm him down. “Nyeh heh, heh...heh.” He said nervously. “I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stop him...and...not smart enough to see your not a bad person.” He added gazed feeling defeated, Crystal shook her head. “No, don’t be like that it was very brave of you to stand up and protect me, your not dumb either. I am for getting captured so easily once again.”
“Alright, enough chit chat children I can’t focus with all this foolish noise.” Said Elfene, the Lombax glared at him with hate. He stood there monitoring the others movement, Crystal watched trying to figure out his next move. “What’s going to happen?” Asked Papyrus to Crystal. “I don’t know...but I’m sure it involves that mysterious Lombax with your brother and Ratchet.” She replied keeping her eyes on the screens, the skeleton looked over and soon he recognized her.
“She’s the girl who attacked me, came out of no where while I was dealing with your enemy.” Crystal gazed at him for a moment before looking back at the screen. “That girl there, the one who looks like me?” She asked but then she realized something. “Oh no, surely Sans would have figured that out by now...what if she was ordered to kill him?” She questioned with a stare. “It...won’t take much to harm, Sans.” Informed Papyrus. “W-Why’s that?” She asked with a stare even though she really didn’t want to know the answer to her question. “One severe blow is all he needs...after that...he’s nothing but dust.” He replied. ‘NO!’ She yelled within her head, Crystal’s face froze in horror and her breathing became heavy.
“He doesn’t know what I’m capable of, this imposter could just be the negative part of me...she’ll show no mercy!” She began biting into the ropes hoping her teeth were sharp enough. “Cut me loose.” He said to her without Elfene suspecting what they were up to. “I know he’s your brother, but trust me if you can’t over power Elfene you won’t over power me. I’m smaller and faster I can get past Elfene if you help me.” She whispered to him. “Your good at talking, it’ll annoy him trust me.” She somehow managed to cut throw the ropes and quickly hid behind a nearby pillar. “I promise Papyrus, I’ll come back for you.”
Crystal remained silent and listened while Papyrus lured the madman towards him, she had enough time to reach each pillar before Elfene suspected a thing. He was so angry that he did realized she was missing. “I’m warning you bag of bones! If you don’t shut up I’ll-” As Elfene approached the pillar in which the skeleton as at he soon noticed that Crystal’s ropes were broken and that she was gone. He growled angrily. “WHERE IS SHE!?” He questioned before reaching for Papyrus. “Hey!” Yelled Crystal from across the hall, Elfene turned around finding her standing in his view.
“Leave my brother out of this you’ve done enough harm to him already! Now, if you don’t mind I have to go safe my other brother from your experiment! Oh, I don’t bother trying to reach her-” She paused waving a comm device in her hand, Elfene looked down finding a device missing from his pocket. “- Yeah, your pretty easy to pick pocket Elfene. Shame your not as quick as that mouth of yours!” She shouted. “YOU DIRTY LITTLE RAT!” He yelled angrily, Crystal clicked her right fingers creating a protective spell around Papyrus. “Sorry wouldn’t want Sans calling you dirty brother killer now would we, catch me if you can old man!” Placing the device into her pocket she quickly made a run for it. Knowing that he would chasing from behind Crystal just had to reach the others in time, before it’s game over for Sans and the Underground.
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Comments: 2
Fire-Warrioress [2016-03-28 13:45:14 +0000 UTC]
Leaving the chapter at a cliffhanger? What a cliche thing to do in a story, but it's worth the hype for the next chapter.
I can still see issues with punctuation and grammar, along with a couple spelling errors. Some of the paragraphs were a bit confusing to read through, most likely due to some missing detail.
When Crystal was talking to Ratchet, I noticed you described Ratchet as "the yellow Lombax" quite a number of times. If you want to help maintain consistency when you're writing, you don't have to address each character constantly by "what they are," but be sure that they're addressed by "who" they are regularly. Don't be afraid to keep using their names when describing who is doing what. Sometimes it's better that way. Another example from this is that you used the word "stare" as if you were replacing the word "look." It's alright to use "look," but there are several other synonyms that can be used. You may find a couple that ring well with certain phrases when you're writing.
I can see the story progressing along to something huge, and I'm excited to see the next chapter. Make it epic!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CrystalAzimuth In reply to Fire-Warrioress [2016-03-28 13:58:16 +0000 UTC]
Thanks I hope taking a little break will help making the next chapter epic
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