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Description
In the interior of a large, plain building. The worn grey carpet lined with uncomfortable plastic chairs, holding people waiting with various degrees of patience. Off in a corner, in a window lined office, we see a traditionally good looking, youngish looking male with slight demonic features.

Whatever: *sitting at a huge, paper covered desk, mumbling to himself while pushing them around* This isn’t looking very good. These statistics aren’t up to par. *glances up* I have to call her in here.

Whatever pushes a bunch of papers out of the way, and goes to push the intercom button on his desk, but stops when he sees a tall, grey skinned, skeletal woman in a loose fitting black robe striding passed his door.

Reaper: *sneering at someone out of sight* You're really fucking cute, you know that? Hardy, hardy, hardy-

Whatever: *interrupts, putting on a huge, fake smile* Reaper! Just the person I wanted to see! Come in.

Reaper: *walking into the room* Oh please, you never WANT to see me, unless you have a death wish *sits on the corner of the desk, crinkling papers in the process* So *picks up a random sheet of paper* what's so important that you had to interrupt me?

Whatever: *plucks paper pointedly out of Reaper's hands* I need to discuss something important with you.

Reaper: Is this about the Tapeworm in your coffee thing again? Because that was hilarious. I honestly didn’t expect the doctor to do it.

Whatever: *flatly* Yes, I bet you didn’t. Anyway, onto business *tosses paper back onto the desk* I would like you to direct your attention to the chart behind you.

Reaper: *turns her head towards a rather complicated looking line chart, with at least six different intersecting, color coded lines* Mm-hmm, what of it?

Whatever: *picks up a pointer off his desk* This blue line here *taps chart where the blue line is* indicates the Death Tolls of the year.

Reaper: *feigns interest, leaning forward*

Whatever: *ignores Reaper, continues* It's supposed to be above this line *taps yellow line* which is the Life Line but this line here *taps pink line* is the Baby Boom line, which is supposed to be below-

Reaper: *growing impatient* All right, get on with it Lucifer, I got a score to settle with someone who thinks he’s cute *makes an "I’m watching you” gesture out the office window*

Whatever: Point being, you're falling behind.

Reaper: *deadpan* What?

Whatever: Your body count is significantly less than it should be. It should be at the top of the charts, but as you can see *taps chart* it's nowhere near.

Reaper: *starting to lose her temper* Really? I’ve been in this business for over 500 years. I think I know how this reaping thing works.

Whatever: Then explain to me WHY you’re falling behind exactly.

Reaper: Hey, it’s not MY fault they counteract everything I throw at them! The Black Plague, Ebola, the latest superbug in the nearest hospital. That last one, by the way, was mostly the doctor’s fault it failed so hard.

Whatever: Well, they’re obviously the ones who are throwing this wrench into your well oiled death machine. Now, how about you-

Reaper: *interrupting, pulling her scythe out of nowhere and brandishing it hopefully* Go kill them now?

Whatever: *sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose* I swear, you’re going to give me another aneurysm. How about you take someone as a protege?

Reaper: Oh, okay *realizes what he said a beat later, EPIC RAGE FACE* WHAT?! I NEED NO ONE! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN JUST WHO I AM?!

Whatever: *nonplussed* Look, first and foremost, I have a business to run. Your pride being bruised is not going to raise the Death Tolls. Secondly, Father will kill me if I don’t meet his expectations. It’ll be my head *makes slashing motion across his throat* literally.

Reaper: That’ll save me the trouble of doing it myself! Again!

Whatever: *through clenched teeth, obviously trying to keep his temper in check* Just fucking do this! *takes composing breath* For my- both of our sakes.

Reaper: *raising hands* Okay. Okay fine *covers eyes with one hand* Next asshole that walks in gets to be my pet *points at the main entrance*

Both look over to see a young woman walk through the doors. She’s missing her left eye, and has a Glasgow grin reaching up to her ears.

Reaper: Oh, this is going to be good. Thanks for wasting my time, dick, I’ll make it up to you later *walks out of the office*

Whatever: *looking up at the ceiling* Please, please let her fuck this up.

Description
In the interior of a large, plain building. The worn grey carpet lined with uncomfortable plastic chairs, holding people waiting with various degrees of patience. Off in a corner, in a window lined office, we see a traditionally good looking, youngish looking male with slight demonic features.

Whatever: *sitting at a huge, paper covered desk, mumbling to himself while pushing them around* This isn’t looking very good. These statistics aren’t up to par. *glances up* I have to call her in here.

Whatever pushes a bunch of papers out of the way, and goes to push the intercom button on his desk, but stops when he sees a tall, grey skinned, skeletal woman in a loose fitting black robe striding passed his door.

Reaper: *sneering at someone out of sight* You're really fucking cute, you know that? Hardy, hardy, hardy-

Whatever: *interrupts, putting on a huge, fake smile* Reaper! Just the person I wanted to see! Come in.

Reaper: *walking into the room* Oh please, you never WANT to see me, unless you have a death wish *sits on the corner of the desk, crinkling papers in the process* So *picks up a random sheet of paper* what's so important that you had to interrupt me?

Whatever: *plucks paper pointedly out of Reaper's hands* I need to discuss something important with you.

Reaper: Is this about the Tapeworm in your coffee thing again? Because that was hilarious. I honestly didn’t expect the doctor to do it.

Whatever: *flatly* Yes, I bet you didn’t. Anyway, onto business *tosses paper back onto the desk* I would like you to direct your attention to the chart behind you.

Reaper: *turns her head towards a rather complicated looking line chart, with at least six different intersecting, color coded lines* Mm-hmm, what of it?

Whatever: *picks up a pointer off his desk* This blue line here *taps chart where the blue line is* indicates the Death Tolls of the year.

Reaper: *feigns interest, leaning forward*

Whatever: *ignores Reaper, continues* It's supposed to be above this line *taps yellow line* which is the Life Line but this line here *taps pink line* is the Baby Boom line, which is supposed to be below-

Reaper: *growing impatient* All right, get on with it Lucifer, I got a score to settle with someone who thinks he’s cute *makes an "I’m watching you” gesture out the office window*

Whatever: Point being, you're falling behind.

Reaper: *deadpan* What?

Whatever: Your body count is significantly less than it should be. It should be at the top of the charts, but as you can see *taps chart* it's nowhere near.

Reaper: *starting to lose her temper* Really? I’ve been in this business for over 500 years. I think I know how this reaping thing works.

Whatever: Then explain to me WHY you’re falling behind exactly.

Reaper: Hey, it’s not MY fault they counteract everything I throw at them! The Black Plague, Ebola, the latest superbug in the nearest hospital. That last one, by the way, was mostly the doctor’s fault it failed so hard.

Whatever: Well, they’re obviously the ones who are throwing this wrench into your well oiled death machine. Now, how about you-

Reaper: *interrupting, pulling her scythe out of nowhere and brandishing it hopefully* Go kill them now?

Whatever: *sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose* I swear, you’re going to give me another aneurysm. How about you take someone as a protege?

Reaper: Oh, okay *realizes what he said a beat later, EPIC RAGE FACE* WHAT?! I NEED NO ONE! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN JUST WHO I AM?!

Whatever: *nonplussed* Look, first and foremost, I have a business to run. Your pride being bruised is not going to raise the Death Tolls. Secondly, Father will kill me if I don’t meet his expectations. It’ll be my head *makes slashing motion across his throat* literally.

Reaper: That’ll save me the trouble of doing it myself! Again!

Whatever: *through clenched teeth, obviously trying to keep his temper in check* Just fucking do this! *takes composing breath* For my- both of our sakes.

Reaper: *raising hands* Okay. Okay fine *covers eyes with one hand* Next asshole that walks in gets to be my pet *points at the main entrance*

Both look over to see a young woman walk through the doors. She’s missing her left eye, and has a Glasgow grin reaching up to her ears.

Reaper: Oh, this is going to be good. Thanks for wasting my time, dick, I’ll make it up to you later *walks out of the office*

Whatever: *looking up at the ceiling* Please, please let her fuck this up.