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Daniel-Gleebits — HPS: Second Birthday Edition
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Published: 2008-04-28 11:43:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 642; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 5
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Hayden’s Psychiatrist Show: BB Birthday Edition(… *Dives out of the window* I can’t think of anything to put here!!!)
Announcer: Oh God I think I’m dying!
Hayden: It’s… not you, it’s… the F#@&ing writer… he’s… out of creativity… must, finish second birthday edition…
Is lying face down on his desk
Tyro: But we haven’t even started yet. Is sitting normally in her chair
Mikomi: Nope, in fact what the announcer said was the first part of the script. Sitting in Lord Animus’ chair
Hayden: … Crap… are you bleedin serious?
Announcer: How come… how come you aren’t all… duuuhhh… erm… oh the thing in my head hurts when I try to erm… that thing… do that thing where you make the thing in your head work…
Mikomi: My father said he was having similar trouble.
Tyro: Your father? But he’s usually so full of charisma and energy
Mikomi: He didn’t get out of bed, he didn’t even want to play his XBox, I think he must be really sick.
Hayden: You two… you two are girls… the writer is a guy… Bastard had to be born… with a
Mikomi: Anyway…!
Hayden: The point is… ugh… *Begins to heave a little*… since he’s a guy, and we are too, his… mental degradation is affecting us… someone kill me…
Tyro: That’s really too bad, however we do have a show to do, so now to introduce the birthday guest.
Hayden: … *Drools over the desk*
Mikomi: …You know what, I’ll do it, ahem *Stands up And now, she is the birthday girl herself, give it up for the Bonny Banshee, Emily!
Half the crowd cheers excitedly, the rest moan irritably
Mikomi: Come on, cheer more…! Do it damnit! You guys have no reason except the weight of anti-creativity to complain about, now cheer!
Hayden: No, no, you have to say something… grah… you have to say something witty, like… like “Obviously the definition of cheer has changed”, or… Oh god I need a bucket…
Mikomi: Oh God I need a bucket? How is that witty?
Tyro: Someone get a bucket please…! *Throw up noise* Oh… erm… bring a mop with that!
Hayden: I’m going to kill that wretched bastard… urgh… for this *Attempts to walk awkwardly off the stage before falling behind the curtain with a loud bang and a scream
???: What the hell!? What is… eew, it smells like sour milk and vinegar! Someone get me some Febreeze!
Tyro: Oh my, what’s going on back there?
Mikomi: Hmm? Tilts head to see back stage erm… I think that’s the guest for today.
Tyro: What’s this about sour milk and vinegar?
Mikomi: Is holding her nose Can we get a double time on that Febreeze please!
Emily: Forget it, I need a new shirt, this is gross! Is holding her shirt away from her reluctantly
Tyro: Hayden! Did you throw up on her!?
Hayden: Shut… shut up!
Tyro: No need to be disgusting just because you’re ill
Hayden: Someone kill me!
One new shirt later
Emily: I am displeased.
Tyro: That usually happens by the time of the first advert, but not usually before.
Emily: I got puked on, would you be at all happy?
Mikomi: That depends who it is, Divina for instance…
Tyro: Okay, thank you, I think the writer must be in serious trouble if he’s making us this grotesque.
Mikomi: I’m just saying she can make even throwing up cute.
Tyro: …
Emily: …. What the hell…? Who’s Divina
Mikomi: My girlfriend, duh.
Emily: You have a girlfriend?
Mikomi: Yes
Emily: …So you’re a lesbian?
Mikomi: Yes
Emily: …
Mikomi: …
Some of the crowd begins to murmur lecherously
Mikomi: I’m taken ladies
Tyro: Right, I can see where this is going, we’re getting into a tender area of discussion.
Emily: Are you a lesbian too?
Tyro: Actually I’m a bisexual, but we aren’t discussing this. Now, thanks to the fact that Hayden, the announcer, and any other male individual around here is incapacitated.
Hayden: Oh God I hate you so much!
Mikomi: Wow, he made it an entire foot to the lavatory that time.
Tyro: The point is that we have nothing planned or anything to do during the show now
Mikomi: Wait a minute *Is perched atop of her chair like a gargoyle… or a bird of some description, or maybe one of those little marsupial things that you see perched on tree branches*
My father told me that Hayden just improvised the show as it progressed.
Tyro: Yes, but there is one thing inherently wrong with that fact that makes our predicament here as tricky as it is.
Mikomi: … Oh right, Hayden’s not here
Tyro: Exactly
Mikomi: So we have nothing to go on
Tyro: Right
Mikomi: So we’ll have to rely on our own imaginations to get through the show
Tyro: Uh huh
Mikomi: …
Emily: You know neither of you have said anything funny at all throughout the entire show
Both: It’s not my fault, it’s the writer!
Announcer: … How is it possible for a hologram to… urgh...! Now to a commercial break… oh crap, someone get me some sawdust! Just cut off my processor! I don’t want to live!
Screen goes dark, yet not just black, some sort of inky, forbidden looking dark that although is terrifying, is also inviting, a bit like your future… Yeah I need help
Advertisement announcer: I err… yeah… has anyone ever noticed how dark that darkness is? I mean, that’s like… like really dark… I mean like… really, really dark, like it’s really dark, as if… almost like, as if, almost like as if… as like if *Blood bursts out the side of head as a gunshot goes off
Female Announcer: Yeah, anyway *Tosses gun nonchalantly over her shoulder A little dark perhaps, but now to the intended advertisement. Have you ever had trouble with dust in your house but can’t be bothered to dust it away? Do you have dirt around the floor that you just wish that someone else would move for you…?
*Looks off stage*… What?
What the hell do you mean I won’t get paid for this!? What’s wrong with him…? He’s what…? What was he doing on the roof…? Depressed!? I get depressed, I don’t go jumping off of buildings! Oh screw this, if you people have dust and dirt, then clean it up! I’m outta here *Turns, slips and trips over*
Eww! Someone move this corpse!
Screen fades back to the stage
Tyro: Welcome back everyone… well half of you anyway, in the short time of that advertisement that was supposed to be at least another 8 minutes longer, we have decided that we shall order a cake for Emily on her Birthday. However, this is no ordinary cake, oh no
Mikomi: This cake, is going to be made of various liquid metal substances, that’ll last at least until the summer
Emily: … You got me a cake I can’t eat, and that will melt in about 2 months time…? What the hell is wrong with you?
Hayden: Be happy… be happy you got that much!
Emily: Why don’t you go in the back and die or something?
Hayden: Fine, ungrateful…
Tyro: okay, perhaps not one of our brightest ideas, but at least we got you an Xbox 360 to go with it
Mikomi: Actually it’s my dads, but he was trying to toss it out the window for some reason, so I thought I’d best not let it go to waste.
Emily: Aww, that’s nice of you *Smiles keenly*
Mikomi: I just hope he doesn’t want it back after the writer gets his thing back.
???: *Surprised, terrified Add preferred synonyms here scream*
Mikomi: Divina? Divina is that you?
Tyro: That depends, is Divina a short looking, blonde haired, white and blue dress wearing girl covered in a layer of blood?
Mikomi: She’s not short… okay maybe a little, but covered in… Holy hell!
Divina: Hayden just impaled himself on his sword! *Is standing on the side of the stage, covered in a spray of blood
Tyro: Ugh, typical *Sigh*
Mikomi: Great, birthday girl, now don’t you feel guilty?
Emily: Not really
Mikomi: …Yeah he’ll be back by the next show anyway
Tyro: Well on a brighter note, I can see the cake being wheeled in, need any help there trolley pushing guy?
Trolley pushing guy: No thanks, I got it, It’s just kinda heavwoah…!!! Whoa, whoa! Who left blood all over the floor!?
Large looking silver cake comes sliding from the opposite side of the stage on a small cart, stops on a loose board, and lunges itself atop Divina
Mikomi: Divina!!
Emily: Is that my cake?
Tyro: Oh my, I hope she doesn’t eat or breathe any of that in or… Oh… never mind *Looks away awkwardly from the small trail of blood seeping from the cake*
Emily: Oh, well it looks nice at least
Mikomi: …
Tyro: Mikomi? Are you alright?
Mikomi: …
Tyro: Oh no, no, no, not good, seriousness! *Pulls what seems like a walkie-talkie out of her robe* Code Red, I repeat Code Red! Initiate lockdown protocol 817! I repeat, we have seriousness, lockdown!
*Dives off of the stage*
Emily: This episode is boring.
Divina: … X-X
Mikomi: T.T
Tyro: O.o
Emily: -.-
Security Guard Ladies: >x<
Announcer: Just… just cut it… *Wretches slightly* just cut it there, and get me… get me some bucket HTML!
Writer: Sorry Emily, I tried
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Comments: 23
well that's pretty random....and revolting
I mean that in a very caring way
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eeeewwwwwwww
but I love you anyway
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*falls over laughing* if this is when your crappy i can't wait to read one where its good
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I can't wait to get out of this damned block, there are several things in this world I hate, and this is another of them
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writers block i can relate i'm behind on all my fics because of it
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I'm just getting out of mine I think, I'm finding it easier to write, however I can't bring myself to draw anything
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Meh, it was the only theme I could come up with
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No matter what you say, that was still awesome, and somewhat funny. Very creative as well! I would never have tried to make the connection between guys and my own gender, like you did. I'm impressed!
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You're impressed by that? It was somewhat of a fall back plan that I'd rather not have used, but if you like it, I suppose I can't argue the results
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That all of the male characters suffered chronic depression and/or mental and physical illness?
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*nod* it's a great concept!
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Oh I see, though you'll have to explain how it's cute
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well, I meant cute as in.... I have no idea why I wrote that. It's a cool concept.
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teehee it made me laugh how all the men were incapitated XD nice work brother dear
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Thank you sister of mine, I don't like it much, but at least I got it done to reasonable standards
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exactly X3 I liked mine better -w- just because of the sexy yaoiness *_____*
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Oh but of course
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