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DarthSammo — ShadowMagic - part4 by-nc-nd [NSFW]
Published: 2008-07-02 19:51:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 243; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description ShadowMagic       (part 4)

They stood away from the door near the tiny bed after the spells where removed. They watched the door slowly open and the huge form of the Guardian duck under and sideways through the door way. The swords on his back scraped the top of the door jam as he entered. He shut the door behind him and seated himself cross-legged on the floor. His huge yellow eyes studied each of them. He made a strange guttural noise as he looked at them. Neither was sure if he was trying to speak or just clearing his throat. Then he spoke, bowing his head to each. “Lady Terra of Esponza, Lord Prince Waylon Nezpertain, it is an honor.”

Immediately The Prince was up in arms and holding dagger in one hand and working a spell with the other, “Lady, it is a trap he is here for my head!” He was in a near panic with fright.

Calm yourself Waylon,” She said gently and lay a cool hand on his bar shoulder. “I am sure there is a logical explanation forthcoming. If he was after you, he would have taken you from the Buqorc and not me. He has been following me for some time I believe; observing and watching as is his kinds’ calling. Am I correct in this matter guardian?”

Waylon calmed almost instantly at her touch, then he stopped the spell and replaced the dagger but did not remove his hand from the hilt. She ignored the break of protocol and waiting silently and patiently for the Guardian to answer. It was several seconds before she realized the beast before her was smiling. Finally he said, “Yes Lady I do have an explanation.” He made the guttural noise again and a small field mouse scurried across the floor to him, jumped into his palm and sat up sniffing the air and looking timidly at the group. “You see, little can be said around my presence that cannot be heard. These hollowed woods are not only my home but my charge to protect and preserve. She told me what she over heard of your names for each other.” From his satchel he removed a small cracker and gave it to the mouse that took it and chewed on it, squeaked with delight and began wolfing down the small token with glee. “That being said we haven’t much time. Even now that devil of a chieftain is plotting our demises. See for yourselves,” he nodded toward the window. The two moved to the window to peak out as he described in perfect detail what only they could see.

“Right now there are 5 other warrior leaders around him. He is telling them what I spoke of while outside. He is concerned that I will ask for you to judge these people according to the ancient laws of this place. But he is crafty. He also knows more about the laws and he chooses to ignore and to follow those which he chooses. So I have a plan but it will require both of you to get all of us out of here alive and whole. Do you think the two of you can work a linked spell?”

Waylon coughed in surprise but Terra smiled, “It might be possible but I do not have a linked spell in my manuscripts that will help us to my knowledge.”

“You might not but I do. While it is forbidden for Guardians to learn the arcane arts, it is not forbidden for us to help other learn them.” He takes out a scroll tube and opens the cap at the end. He empties the single sheet of what looks like old parchment into his open hand and hands it to Terra. “This spell is called the shadow tunnel. It combines earth and shadow magic to create a portal of escape or travel. However you can only go to someplace you know and are safe for the spell takes time on both ends to work. Now I suggest you both start copying this into your manuscripts so that the spell is not lost forever when you use it.” Suddenly his voice increased from the soft voice he was using to a near bellow. “In the meantime I will bide you some time. I will talk about things I know about the ancient lands here for the ears listening at the walls. They do not understand this tongue so well so they might not even fully get what I am saying to you now. Suffices to say, they are curious and worried and somewhat frightened by my presence here. They should be. I will go out and speak with the so called chieftain again and then return. When I come back you must be ready to work the spell. I will leave you now to your work.” He got up and silently made his way from the hut closing the door tightly behind him.

His eyes flickered over the village. He noted the change of guards positions and weapons. Double the number of bowmen on the side adjacent to the center where the chieftain stood as well as double the number of armed warriors around the center yard. He smiled to himself. The chieftain / king was making a display of force to try and cower them. The false king did not know this game as well as he thought. The guardian made a single strange birdcall waited and made it again. From around the village the call was answered time and again it seems like the call came from everywhere and nowhere at once. Then as suddenly as it started it stopped. The warrior on the walls anxiously studied the trees but could see nothing. Word spread quickly through out the village that the guardian had not come alone. The so called king was also shaken by the noise and the idea that there was more than one guardian here. A single guardian they could likely take but 20 or more was impossible. As the guardian approached he stated, “as you can see chieftain I also have eye, ears and claws with me. I never travel alone. With a single word this entire village can be laid to waste if the judgment asked for it. The law is the law and no man, beast or monster is above it. This you must realize if you are to continue to live in this place. You and your people are under the same laws as all who live in these woods. Do you understand?”

The king was still trying to act brave for his people standing straight and tall not flinching, but his voice cracked as he spoke.” Yeaz, uh hum… Yes guardian I understand. Have the victims come to a conclusion?” His eyes flickered to the trees behind him with nervous anticipation.

“After a breath talk and explanation they have. You are most fortunate to be dealing with civilized people. While their anger is strong and their arguments sound they do not wish to harm your people for your stupidity and harm. So they have asked for a dowry of 800 sabins or their like in items or jewelry, magical items would be best for my appraisal since I will agree to the overall value of the items being a neutral party.”

The kings eyes went wide in disbelief. “800 sabins,” He coughed.

“each” added the Guardian.

“That is outrageous we do not have that kind of wealth within this village. There must be something else?”

“well if you will not pay in one fashion or another then I will be forced to take enough people from your village to sell into slavery to cover this debt. And since you are “King” here you must agree to pay the judgment or step down from your post and face execution for your crimes at which point the dowry would be halved and you people given a fortnight to raise the remainder of what they could not produce at this time. So the choice is yours ‘KING’, “Stating the last with some venom in his voice. “The law is clear. You admitted to harming these innocents. They request retribution in form of dowry. You must now face that judgment.”  The Guardian folded his hand across him broad chest and looked down at the clearly disturbed leader with a hunger in his eyes as if he wanted to kill him.

The chieftain could not look into those harsh yellow eyes. They burned through him into his very soul. He had to find a way to save not only himself but also this leadership and his honor before his people. Finally he summoned one of his officers over and whispered in his ear for a while. The other’s eyes grew wide with shock as he heard what was said but remained quiet. When the king was finished speaking, the officer nodded and bounded off into one of the larger huts then he ran out going to another large hunt. From the first hut two females came out each carrying a box one long and rectangular the other square and thick. Then from the second hunt the officer returned with two small parcels on top of a small thin box. The first parcel was a fat leather bag and the other a leather wrapped item of some importance. These where set on the ground at the leader feet. The officer picked up the rectangular box first, and held it so that the king could open it to display its contents. Inside the box, were a matched set of finely crafted dirks of elfin design if the rune work and filigree where not faked. The guardian picked up one and examined it with a keen eye. I would set the value of these at 100 sabins each.”

“But they are Elfin and they are magical.”

“None the less they are common and therefore not expensive. What else do you offer?”

The king scoffed and put down the box as the square box was opened for the guardian. Inside a wand of intricate carving and design, laced with silver and yellow gold details lay. He started to pick it up but then thought better of it. He bent down and studied the piece and nodded, “This is better, I would say this is 400 sabins.”

“But this piece has great power, surely you sense it?”

“All I sense is that it is dangerous and potentially lethal in the wrong hands. The only reason I would even consider it is because both of your victims are mages.” The king was clearly upset by this news “what else do you offer?” continued the Guardian.
The king practically threw down the box making a loud banging noise which was instantly answered by the strange voices in the trees. The chorus grew louder and echoed before suddenly growing quiet again. The leader looked nervously around before motioning up the next box. Inside this box was a staff that was in pieces. The king held it and touched the hilt to the different pieced and each one snapped into place on the pole until it was complete then he tapped the edge of the box and each piece fell off back into place inside the box. The guardian wondered if the king even knew what he possessed with that staff, “That was an interesting trick and I will value that piece at 200 sabins.” The guardian knew then that the king did not know the nature of the staff when he shook his head and agreed with that estimation.

The next item was the leather wrapped parcel. The king gingerly untied the covering laces and revealed an old tomb of some kind. “This is an artifact we found when we settled here. It keeps this place safe from harm. It is the most valued item this village possesses. I would not offer it but we have little else of value to such as them and I will not sell my people into slavery.” He spoke in his own tongue so that his people would hear what he said.

The guardian understood. He had to save face for giving away the items of value to his people. In this way he showed he valued them more than items or objects. “Very well,” Stated the guardian I will match this to the highest valued object you have presented to me which is 400 sabins. That will bring your total to 1200 sabins. You are still 400 short. I am sure you must have something else to offer for such a small remaining amount. No point dieing over quibbles.” The guardian smiled showing his long ivory fangs.

The King swallowed hard and turned away. He picked up the bag and handed it to the guardian. “There are 344 sabins total in worth in that bag. It is the entire tax of the village for our offering. If you take this we will have to offer service to the elders and that is as good as slavery,” Growled the king.

“You should have though about that before you violated a royal member of house Esponza.” The kings eyes instantly went wide with shock.

“She is Esponzan? I did not know. She never declared…”

“You never gave her the chance. You beat her unconscious, hogtied and kidnapped her, stripped her naked and bound her while unconscious in front of the whole village and deigned her even the dignity to shout by gagging her. Then you stuck your filthy, diseased commoners hand into her. You have much to atone for ‘KING”. You are fortunate that she is a lady and has a forgiving nature. If it was me… well there would be nothing left of this place but ash and bone.” I will take your offering to them to see if they agree to their worth if they do not we will have to talk more about atonement. For your sake I hope they find it worthy. But I pray they do not because I would love to rend you limb from limb for your dishonor to them.” He growled down at the little being as he bent over him to make his point clear. Then he stood upright again his voice returning to normal, “However as I said before, no one is above the law… Not even those who enforce it. But be warned. There had better never be a next time while I walk these paths.” He bent scoped up the items and walked slowly back to the hut. As he reached the door the ominous barking hoots returned and he had to smile to himself. He could smell that the king had just defiled himself in public. He bent into the house again and shouldered the door closed behind him quite please with himself.
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Comments: 7

CageyJay [2008-09-28 19:57:00 +0000 UTC]

Interesting. Once again, the flow is much smoother, and the further exposition and character development is helpful.

You said something about not wanting this to turn ugly, but that it needed to for the storyline. Having read it again, I'd still recommend a literary fade-to-black. Since your characters seem to be traveling somewhat in secret, you could write the next installment with them encountering someone who's gossiping and spreading rumors about whatever happened directly after the end of this part. Let us read between the lines about how this episode turned out, rather than describing it in detail.

This is work with great potential. Please do continue it!

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DarthSammo In reply to CageyJay [2008-09-29 14:03:29 +0000 UTC]

What I meant by ugly was more abusive scenes and or graphic violence that might turn off readers of a more frail disposition. It is tough not to take this story to an extreme considering my characters and their natures. However, I believe that this story has a lot to say still and I am working on the next installment when I have time. Unfortunely life has had a habit of late of not giving me much of it, or the muse to write. I might post what I have so far as the next installment and "fade to black" to a new scene. Or I might just let it flow out of my minds eye and onto the page and just see where imagination take them. Only the Muses know and they are being rather silent of late. ;(

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CageyJay In reply to DarthSammo [2008-09-29 16:08:04 +0000 UTC]

I see. Maybe you want to examine your intended audience, then, because I know people who wouldn't flinch at your most vivid and graphic descriptions of battlegrounds and fights, but would pitch the book away after reading your part three. I also know people who easily shrug off characters with rape-and-abuse dispositions, but leave in boredom after the first straightforward set of fisticuffs. At this point, though, unless you catch them with the "train wreck" effect (to do that, I'd recommend putting parts two and three at the very beginning so that readers go into a sort of shock, and then showing how things got to that point with part one), you've probably lost the people with frail dispositions, so feel free to let your characters take you where they want you to go. You're writing to the George R. R. Martin crowd, and possibly the Lisanne Norman crowd, right now.

There's definitely more to this story. I look forward to seeing its continuation, when time allows. Pity that the muses are not cooperating right now.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DarthSammo In reply to CageyJay [2008-09-29 16:33:47 +0000 UTC]

If you want to read something with a little more teeth and a little more worked out you might this this one from me.
[link] the prologue/intro to The Iron Maiden
[link] chapter 1 introductions
[link] Chapter 2 old embers, new pains

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CageyJay In reply to DarthSammo [2008-09-29 18:04:00 +0000 UTC]

*Nods.* I'll check them out again in a little bit.

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rubytuzday [2008-07-03 02:07:56 +0000 UTC]

Yes, they are! I enjoy your writing very much!

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DarthSammo In reply to rubytuzday [2008-07-03 16:50:06 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much for that... believe it or not I have been turned down for book publication for the reasons of not being good enough for print. Oh well, at least here I can find those who do enjoy my style of writing. Thanks again for the support of kind words.

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