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DatensWriting — Space Flight
Published: 2012-04-03 17:52:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 139; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 1
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Description The world shatters and splinters around me
Blinding light
In a million shades of white
I shout in a  deafening decree
Parts of the earth going to fast to see

Pieces fall around my head as I fall and dive
Faster and faster
This is reality beyond just being alive

With a  racing heart and unclear mind
A spot appears miles below
Though there is no fear in me
Even as I watch it grow
There is a spark I have found
Inside myself so that
Even when I hit that ground

I will run forward.
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Comments: 6

InTheStarryNightSky [2012-04-04 03:47:07 +0000 UTC]

A beautiful piece. Wonderful job.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DatensWriting In reply to InTheStarryNightSky [2012-04-04 09:20:17 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

InTheStarryNightSky In reply to DatensWriting [2012-04-05 00:48:32 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ThatCanonKid [2012-04-03 18:48:20 +0000 UTC]

Nice little piece you have there, ~ It's great, imaginative and fun! I love the words you have used 'shatters' 'racing they really emphasise the rush, the adrenaline of the events in your poem! I also love the ryhming. I hate poems that don't ryhme. Because, they have no rythm.
Love it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DatensWriting In reply to ThatCanonKid [2012-04-03 18:55:35 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the comment!

I actually went back through in my editing and made sure all the words fit the mood, glad to know it paid off. I love rhyming poetry, I normally include meter as well but it didn't fit into this one well.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ThatCanonKid In reply to DatensWriting [2012-04-03 20:43:48 +0000 UTC]

Well, that did pay off! you're right!
Nah, you did a fantastic job!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0