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daybreaksmiles β€” .
Published: 2014-04-08 20:15:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 490; Favourites: 25; Downloads: 0
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Description as i open my
mouth, a flock of excuses
perch upon your tongue.
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daybreaksmiles - 001
Comments: 24

haphazardmelody [2014-06-04 21:40:51 +0000 UTC]

Oh yes. This happened to me just the other day...definitely frustrating. You've captured it perfectly.

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daybreaksmiles In reply to haphazardmelody [2014-06-05 20:31:45 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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mcckaja [2014-04-26 10:07:32 +0000 UTC]

imaginative and..ironic <3 amazing

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daybreaksmiles In reply to mcckaja [2014-04-26 14:36:23 +0000 UTC]

thank you very much

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mcckaja In reply to daybreaksmiles [2014-04-26 14:37:31 +0000 UTC]

thank you for the llama

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daybreaksmiles In reply to mcckaja [2014-04-26 14:38:36 +0000 UTC]

of course!!

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AlecBell [2014-04-13 08:47:35 +0000 UTC]

Such pithy irony!

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daybreaksmiles In reply to AlecBell [2014-04-14 01:05:58 +0000 UTC]

that was the goal! glad I made it

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AlecBell In reply to daybreaksmiles [2014-04-14 07:30:41 +0000 UTC]

Indeed

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PaperDart [2014-04-09 12:14:21 +0000 UTC]

Evocative imagery - very nicely done.

Out of interest, are the line breaks mainly there to give the 5-7-5 structure, or should I be seeing something more in the way you've split them?

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daybreaksmiles In reply to PaperDart [2014-04-09 17:34:58 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! No, the line breaks are simply to keep haiku formatting

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ArtCrusade In reply to daybreaksmiles [2014-04-14 19:02:05 +0000 UTC]

You probably are aware of it, but this is a senryu and not a haiku, though both have the same format. I wanted to drop this comment just in case that you did not know.

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dassa440 [2014-04-09 09:52:49 +0000 UTC]

very nice. sounds like you have been let down one too many times

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daybreaksmiles In reply to dassa440 [2014-04-09 20:59:37 +0000 UTC]

yes, that's the feeling this was inspired from, thank you

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dassa440 In reply to dassa440 [2014-04-09 09:54:26 +0000 UTC]

dassa440.deviantart.com/art/En…

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AuthorKatieOlson [2014-04-09 04:08:06 +0000 UTC]

Amazing use of so few words to convey so much. Β 

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daybreaksmiles In reply to AuthorKatieOlson [2014-04-09 17:35:19 +0000 UTC]

Thank you

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AuthorKatieOlson In reply to daybreaksmiles [2014-04-09 18:43:18 +0000 UTC]

You are welcome!

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chinoise56 [2014-04-08 20:23:35 +0000 UTC]

Brilliant and thought provoking. Well done

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daybreaksmiles In reply to chinoise56 [2014-04-08 21:33:43 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much

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chinoise56 In reply to daybreaksmiles [2014-04-09 02:00:31 +0000 UTC]

My pleasure! Β 

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ReubenDeFlash [2014-04-08 20:19:58 +0000 UTC]

Short and powerful. It takes a lot of skill to say so much in so few words.

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daybreaksmiles In reply to ReubenDeFlash [2014-04-08 21:34:56 +0000 UTC]

Thank you

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ReubenDeFlash In reply to daybreaksmiles [2014-04-09 07:30:29 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome

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