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DB-Raphael β€” Aural Reverie
Published: 2006-03-24 02:29:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 82; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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Description Sing to me, night, and I shall remember
The days of ancient peril and visions,
Of starlit evenings in the springtime,
Reserved for endless dreaming.
Sing to me, spirit nocturnal, and I awake
Nostalgically and reminisce of laughter
And things passed by the kind hands,
Of a joyous summer of lights
And high winds sing to me on drafts
Of the odyssey of the mind of God,
In which all visionaries rest in hopes
That become sturdy realities…

Our harmony is sung by angels.
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Comments: 5

VenomsJin [2006-03-26 14:21:11 +0000 UTC]

borrowed thoughts from a dream Rek?

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

DB-Raphael In reply to VenomsJin [2006-03-27 12:18:10 +0000 UTC]

i dream alot. you know this.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Mjolnir939 [2006-03-24 15:33:20 +0000 UTC]

Sorry, I suppose I should give you an example. Without punctuation, I read the line like a sentence until I see the period halfway through the first verse. This, sadly, makes me skip over some imagery rather fast. For example, if a comma is given after the words "visions" and "springtime", it will set that line off slightly by itself, thusly making the reader spend more time considering it. Just something to think about.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

DB-Raphael In reply to Mjolnir939 [2006-03-25 02:46:39 +0000 UTC]

Thanx for the input. Comments like yours are the reason i joined this site.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Mjolnir939 [2006-03-24 15:29:35 +0000 UTC]

Well done, but some further use of punctuation may help to emphasize your already beautiful imagery.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0