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Description
A quick glance to her left. Nothing there. Nothing. Just darkness. Everywhere, darkness. No escaping it. There was no way to get out. Go into the light. There was no light. They always said there would be a light. To go towards the light. There was no light. There was nothing, only darkness. Was this hell? Would she have to suffer in this darkness for eternity? She wandered around aimlessly, not wondering if anything was around. She just knew nothing would be. All she could do now was walk and walk and walk. She’d never get tired. She couldn’t now.

She had new senses. Could feel where darkness was even darker and where it was a little thinner, even though she couldn’t really see it. She was practically blind. She could feel where something else had been there before her. It had gone insane, whatever it was. It hadn’t been there too long before her. She could taste the residue of the soul in the back of her mouth. It was sweet in a way. But it had a copper taste, just like blood. She ignored it. All she could do was ignore it. She could also smell things. Not blood though, things from her memory. Her memory. It was fading. Already most of her childhood was murky. She wasn’t sure of what had happened. Her first best friend. Her memory. She figured if anything could comfort her it would have had to be her memories. Yet now, they were fading. They were her last thread connected to her previous life.

Time went by. She couldn’t tell how much time it would have been. There was no time here, just waiting. As the time went on she continued to lose more of her memory. Her 7 brief teenage years were now as distant as China had been to her hometown in Nebraska. Nebraska. Not even a place to her anymore. But she could no longer even remember what she looked like as a child. Couldn’t remember the name of her elementary school. Couldn’t remember if she had had any pets, and what their names would have been. Couldn’t remember her grandparents either. Her mom and dad’s pictures were fading. Slowly everything was drifting off. Her mind was almost void of any past.

She could remember one thing so clearly though. The one thing she didn’t want to remember. The only thing she wouldn’t have minded having erased from her memory. The vomiting. The headaches. The seizure that one time. Her hearing that had been fading since the beginning. That tumor. That damned brain tumor. The one thing she needed to forget about. But no, it was all there, so clearly. Every detail of it. The treatments. The biopsy. That god awful biopsy. They had said it was benign. It wouldn’t affect her much. They would just remove it. She’d be fine. Obviously they had been wrong. In her opinion, another medical fuck up.

It’s not fair that she had to suffer because of it and all they had to do was send her body off and tell her mom and dad that she was dead. Not fair. They had gotten off easy. So wrong to her; so, so wrong. She wished that they would have just left her alone. If it was benign why did they have to remove it? She’d rather have lived with it as long as she could. Anything but removing it. She didn’t like the thought of them cutting her head open yet again to remove something that wasn’t actually killing her. Yet.

She tried feeling the back of her head, but had no sense of touch. She might have gained extra sensors, but she had lost the old one she had cherished most. Her touch. She wanted to feel something. She wanted to know what the darkness felt like. Besides lonely, that is. She wanted to feel the place she would be trapped till she went insane.

On Earth, years went by. In her dark place, it only felt like a few moments. She still had memories of her tumor. Still every little detail was engraved on her soul. They would not escape her, not ever. She didn’t remember what her face had looked like, her parents’ names, whether she had any brothers or sisters, what color her hair was. In her memory everything was a gray blob but she knew everything that had gone on during that time.

A light. A glowing light. A small, dim one. What was it? She walked towards whatever it was. She followed it as it slowly floated in front of her. It was odd. It glowed an odd green, a somber green. She could taste it, smell it, hear it. It tasted like flowers, it smelled like a warm summer breeze, it sounded like happiness. She reached out with a translucent hand. She could see the odd green through it. It was nice. She couldn’t feel warmth coming from it, but she knew there was, just like she had known that the dark place was extremely cold and void of any air. She grabbed at it, but it seeped through her fingers and reformed. It started darting around faster. She chased after it. Her feet made no sound hitting the darkness. She never tired. Never ran out of breath. Never had breath. She lunged at it easily and it escaped her again.

Then she was on her back. She could feel that she was covered by some odd substance, something disgusting that stuck to her body. Her eyes were closed and she could see the dim green light slowly becoming stronger and emitting more warmth and light. Only a split second later her eyes opened and were immediately blinded by the excessive light that surrounded her. She looked up. A doctor. She could hear a baby crying. It was close, very close. She looked around, everything looked so big, so foreign. She was unsure of what was going on. Her final memories of the tumor were dissipating. She tried speaking. Something she hadn’t done in a long time. She couldn’t though. Her voice was preoccupied. With crying. She was the one making the noises. She was, in fact, the baby that was crying.

Description
A quick glance to her left. Nothing there. Nothing. Just darkness. Everywhere, darkness. No escaping it. There was no way to get out. Go into the light. There was no light. They always said there would be a light. To go towards the light. There was no light. There was nothing, only darkness. Was this hell? Would she have to suffer in this darkness for eternity? She wandered around aimlessly, not wondering if anything was around. She just knew nothing would be. All she could do now was walk and walk and walk. She’d never get tired. She couldn’t now.

She had new senses. Could feel where darkness was even darker and where it was a little thinner, even though she couldn’t really see it. She was practically blind. She could feel where something else had been there before her. It had gone insane, whatever it was. It hadn’t been there too long before her. She could taste the residue of the soul in the back of her mouth. It was sweet in a way. But it had a copper taste, just like blood. She ignored it. All she could do was ignore it. She could also smell things. Not blood though, things from her memory. Her memory. It was fading. Already most of her childhood was murky. She wasn’t sure of what had happened. Her first best friend. Her memory. She figured if anything could comfort her it would have had to be her memories. Yet now, they were fading. They were her last thread connected to her previous life.

Time went by. She couldn’t tell how much time it would have been. There was no time here, just waiting. As the time went on she continued to lose more of her memory. Her 7 brief teenage years were now as distant as China had been to her hometown in Nebraska. Nebraska. Not even a place to her anymore. But she could no longer even remember what she looked like as a child. Couldn’t remember the name of her elementary school. Couldn’t remember if she had had any pets, and what their names would have been. Couldn’t remember her grandparents either. Her mom and dad’s pictures were fading. Slowly everything was drifting off. Her mind was almost void of any past.

She could remember one thing so clearly though. The one thing she didn’t want to remember. The only thing she wouldn’t have minded having erased from her memory. The vomiting. The headaches. The seizure that one time. Her hearing that had been fading since the beginning. That tumor. That damned brain tumor. The one thing she needed to forget about. But no, it was all there, so clearly. Every detail of it. The treatments. The biopsy. That god awful biopsy. They had said it was benign. It wouldn’t affect her much. They would just remove it. She’d be fine. Obviously they had been wrong. In her opinion, another medical fuck up.

It’s not fair that she had to suffer because of it and all they had to do was send her body off and tell her mom and dad that she was dead. Not fair. They had gotten off easy. So wrong to her; so, so wrong. She wished that they would have just left her alone. If it was benign why did they have to remove it? She’d rather have lived with it as long as she could. Anything but removing it. She didn’t like the thought of them cutting her head open yet again to remove something that wasn’t actually killing her. Yet.

She tried feeling the back of her head, but had no sense of touch. She might have gained extra sensors, but she had lost the old one she had cherished most. Her touch. She wanted to feel something. She wanted to know what the darkness felt like. Besides lonely, that is. She wanted to feel the place she would be trapped till she went insane.

On Earth, years went by. In her dark place, it only felt like a few moments. She still had memories of her tumor. Still every little detail was engraved on her soul. They would not escape her, not ever. She didn’t remember what her face had looked like, her parents’ names, whether she had any brothers or sisters, what color her hair was. In her memory everything was a gray blob but she knew everything that had gone on during that time.

A light. A glowing light. A small, dim one. What was it? She walked towards whatever it was. She followed it as it slowly floated in front of her. It was odd. It glowed an odd green, a somber green. She could taste it, smell it, hear it. It tasted like flowers, it smelled like a warm summer breeze, it sounded like happiness. She reached out with a translucent hand. She could see the odd green through it. It was nice. She couldn’t feel warmth coming from it, but she knew there was, just like she had known that the dark place was extremely cold and void of any air. She grabbed at it, but it seeped through her fingers and reformed. It started darting around faster. She chased after it. Her feet made no sound hitting the darkness. She never tired. Never ran out of breath. Never had breath. She lunged at it easily and it escaped her again.

Then she was on her back. She could feel that she was covered by some odd substance, something disgusting that stuck to her body. Her eyes were closed and she could see the dim green light slowly becoming stronger and emitting more warmth and light. Only a split second later her eyes opened and were immediately blinded by the excessive light that surrounded her. She looked up. A doctor. She could hear a baby crying. It was close, very close. She looked around, everything looked so big, so foreign. She was unsure of what was going on. Her final memories of the tumor were dissipating. She tried speaking. Something she hadn’t done in a long time. She couldn’t though. Her voice was preoccupied. With crying. She was the one making the noises. She was, in fact, the baby that was crying.