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The Last Palm on Rapa Nui

By Setz

February 24, 2021

She awoke.

She awoke not just awake, but awoke alert. Why? What was happening? She ate. It was all she could do. It was all she knew how or remembered to do. A slow flow of something not quite fat, not quite food that was sort of sweet and sort of not was what she sensed. This something made her gulp and gulp and gulp, endlessly. She was hungry. That’s all she knew was that she was hungry. It was hunger, but also a need. A hunger, but a need to keep eating and feeding. A mindless, hypnotic addiction. It wasn’t a lust for food, though. It was just a need for more. That was her first and only thought whenever she awoke: more. It wasn’t a lust. It was too necessary for lust.

As she faded back to alertness, she realized why she awoke. Her heart had been pounding in her chest. She was used to the constant pounding, the odd heartbeat skipping, the rush, the dizziness. But this was different. The blood pressed like thick, warm gravy through her veins. She could feel every single heartbeat now, pushing and coursing through her limbs to her toes, fingertips and temples. This was not normal. This was worse.

It brought her out of her trance. For how long now had she been here, swallowing and swallowing? The world was buried darkness, the fat on her eyelids and forehead taken over long ago. Her limbs were buried long ago. There was nothing in her body she could move on her own. Everything was autopilot. Everything moved on its own and all she had to do, all she needed to do, was breathe and eat. The eating was easy, the breathing… was hard. She never remembered it being hard before. Now that she was alert, it occurred to her that she was suffocating. She received slightly less air than she needed. Oxygen was relentlessly pumped in, but it was no longer enough. It was always enough, barely, if she didn’t move, didn’t think, and just ate. But now, it was no longer enough. Each breath choked her further. She tried a deep breath, but she lacked the strength to bench press hundreds of pounds with her lungs anymore. Maybe thousands. Could it even be measured? She had no earthly idea how large she was anymore. Or… who she was. Who was she?

Think. The concept of pizza floated into her mind. What was pizza? It was good. It made her happy. What did it taste like? Where did it come from? Her heart pounded in her chest, faster and beefier. It pumped and pumped and not enough moved. Her fingers tingled. She had the urge to clutch her chest with her hand, but nothing moved. It was as if her body simply could not take any commands anymore. Was she even alive still?

The heart pumping made it thuddingly clear that she was still alive. She gasped and wheezed. She begged her lungs for more air. She wanted desperately to grab her chest, but nothing moved. Her hand was a ball of pure fat. Sweat formed in her brow with the effort of trying to, really just thinking about, moving her arm. The tips of her fingers moved a tenth of an inch in an effort to at least make a fist.

Her exertion caused her heart to speed up. It raced as she relaxed her hand. The tiniest of movements pushed her right over the cliff. Blood felt like it was going to explode and shoot out of her body. Limbs tingled. She wanted to scream in fear and pain, but… she was hungry. She continued to gulp away. As the pressure mounted. She closed her eyelids tight wanting this nightmare to be over, just waiting for something to give way. Her heart slammed in her chest. Pound! Pound! Pound!

Pound!

Thunk.

Kathunk…

Nothing. Peace. Quiet. She relaxed. She wheezed all of the air out of her lungs. It was over.

She sank into herself and herself into the void.

Nothingness.

Nothingness.

And then a voice.

“Hey.” The voice floated into her brain from she knew neither who nor where. “Wake up, sexy! It’s supper time.” The voice was soft. Friendly. Reassuring. Then came a whisper that kissed her soul.

“Hungry girl…”

Kathunk. Her heart beat a heavy push and a laboured gasp filled her lungs as far as they could again. The voice. It was right. She was hungry.

So hungry! She gulped and gulped furiously on her feeding tube. There wasn’t enough coming out. There was never enough, never fast enough. Was the food good? Was it even food? It didn’t matter as long as there was more of it. A never ending supply for her never ending appetite.

But what did it even mean anymore when she asked herself, was it good? What was good?

And that was another thing. “Sexy”. The voice always called her sexy, but what did that even mean? What even was sex? She gulped and gulped at the hose, levelling out her aching, deep desire for whatever it was she was being fed as she pondered “sexy”.

Just a little bit ago, it felt like she was going to explode, that her heart was ripping out of her chest and her fingers bursting from the pressure, but here she was again. She was trapped. Completely trapped. Namelessly trapped in herself. The world had been dark for so long now that she had forgotten a time when with great effort she could force her eyes open against the avalanche of fat that was her forehead to see the faintest sliver of light. Now, just darkness.

Who was she?

The lack of air was beginning to catch up with her again. Who was she? Think. Try. Her lazy, gluttonous mind found the concept of pizza again. The sharp acid of pizza sauce fluttered through her mind. Was there more to her than pizza? Why pizza? Did she like it? She gulped at her food and tried to make it taste like what pizza was in her mind. It wasn’t the same.

The thought of pizza made her happy. But she couldn’t ask for it, as she couldn’t speak. She couldn’t eat it, for she couldn’t move. She couldn’t do anything but eat not-pizza, and not quite breathe. She wheezed and tried and failed for another deep breath.

Happy… It dawned on her, the idea of happy. It was warm and nice. The idea of “reading” was also there. “Comfort”. She wheezed and found herself too short of breath to continue exerting herself with thought.

Dizziness came over her, or at least as dizzy as she could be being buried helplessly in herself. Happy seemed so nice and this wasn’t it. This was something else. Something not happy. She fought and gasped for air. So little came in, so little could her lungs move. This was not happy.

She remembered something else other than hungry. She remembered the world fading away from her and then jolting back. The world fading away… It wasn’t happy, but it was less not happy. How did it happen? She felt like she wanted to grab her chest and couldn’t and then everything was gone and there was peace.

She missed peace. She wanted peace.

She flexed any muscle she had left. Nothing moved, but her heart screamed and took off again. Her lungs ached. Blood squeezed and squished into everywhere that it could still get that wasn’t already been clogged off long ago. Tingling took over her buried limbs. She fought. She raged. She screamed voicelessly.

She tried to make fists again, but all she could feel was numb tingling. Everywhere numbness. Everywhere pressure. Everywhere fading…. Her heart slowed. Her mind slowed. She quit trying.

Her chest drooped. Muscles relaxed. Peace. Tingling numb peace.

Tingling faded.

She faded and gulped and faded and gulped and faded…

Peace.

Nothingness.

Nothingness.

A voice. A soft voice spoke into her mind. “Dessert,” said a purring voice that dripped like honey into her ear. “Wake up, sexy. It’s dessert time.”

A spark! There was a deep, awful heaving inside of her chest as her heart beat once again. The force of the jolt caused her overgrown eyes to nearly almost open and see the world once more. She gasped and desperately took in all of the precious air that she could. Her chest was far too sunk under the hundreds of pounds of lazy fat that she fought against for every breath to barely register a ripple from her heaving.

This time, once she settled down to her usual tortured existence, it dawned on her that there was a ringing in her ears. There was a warmth and a numbness to her being. Her heart still thumped up to her sunken temples as usual, but it had slowed and weakened. Her wheeze was shallower. She tried another deep breath, but couldn’t fight against her chest anymore.

Was she cursed with immortality? Or... Was this was finally it?

She concentrated, which alone winded her further. Who was she? Why was she here? What was her name? What was her happy? Think. Remember. Anything…

A book! She read a book once. It was… She struggled and wheezed. Not enough air. Her heart slowed.

It came to her! A dream. About a book. She ate pizza and read a book. It was…. About Easter Island... The people that lived there before European colonization. Sweat formed everywhere she still had feeling. Still she tasted the creamy butterscotch pudding flow into her mouth.

There were trees there, on Easter Island. Rapa Nui. They all got cut down to make the Moai. Her hidden, buried eyes rolled upwards as she fought the sunset. Kathunk, her heart beat once, savagely in her buried ears rang louder and louder. Kathunk.

She wondered. Gulp. Kathunk. A headache grew in her brain. What was it like..? Ka….

To… Hold…. Fading…. The headache grew and what she had for muscles tensed. Thunkathunkathunk.

Brief release. Her eyes quit rolling back and rested. Everything rested. Everything dimmed. Gulp.

What was it like to hold… Kathunk. She couldn’t feel the sweat anymore.

The axe… Gulp. Her chest rose in a wheezing gasp, pushing, pushing, pushing against fat for air.

As you… Ka…. The ringing in her ears softened.

Chopped… Gulp. She pushed and pushed with her lungs. No more air.

Down… Thunk. Her chest sank.

The… Gulp. The headache faded.

Last… Gulp. Sexy.

Palm… Gulp. Hungry.

Tree… Gu…

Description
The Last Palm on Rapa Nui

By Setz

February 24, 2021

She awoke.

She awoke not just awake, but awoke alert. Why? What was happening? She ate. It was all she could do. It was all she knew how or remembered to do. A slow flow of something not quite fat, not quite food that was sort of sweet and sort of not was what she sensed. This something made her gulp and gulp and gulp, endlessly. She was hungry. That’s all she knew was that she was hungry. It was hunger, but also a need. A hunger, but a need to keep eating and feeding. A mindless, hypnotic addiction. It wasn’t a lust for food, though. It was just a need for more. That was her first and only thought whenever she awoke: more. It wasn’t a lust. It was too necessary for lust.

As she faded back to alertness, she realized why she awoke. Her heart had been pounding in her chest. She was used to the constant pounding, the odd heartbeat skipping, the rush, the dizziness. But this was different. The blood pressed like thick, warm gravy through her veins. She could feel every single heartbeat now, pushing and coursing through her limbs to her toes, fingertips and temples. This was not normal. This was worse.

It brought her out of her trance. For how long now had she been here, swallowing and swallowing? The world was buried darkness, the fat on her eyelids and forehead taken over long ago. Her limbs were buried long ago. There was nothing in her body she could move on her own. Everything was autopilot. Everything moved on its own and all she had to do, all she needed to do, was breathe and eat. The eating was easy, the breathing… was hard. She never remembered it being hard before. Now that she was alert, it occurred to her that she was suffocating. She received slightly less air than she needed. Oxygen was relentlessly pumped in, but it was no longer enough. It was always enough, barely, if she didn’t move, didn’t think, and just ate. But now, it was no longer enough. Each breath choked her further. She tried a deep breath, but she lacked the strength to bench press hundreds of pounds with her lungs anymore. Maybe thousands. Could it even be measured? She had no earthly idea how large she was anymore. Or… who she was. Who was she?

Think. The concept of pizza floated into her mind. What was pizza? It was good. It made her happy. What did it taste like? Where did it come from? Her heart pounded in her chest, faster and beefier. It pumped and pumped and not enough moved. Her fingers tingled. She had the urge to clutch her chest with her hand, but nothing moved. It was as if her body simply could not take any commands anymore. Was she even alive still?

The heart pumping made it thuddingly clear that she was still alive. She gasped and wheezed. She begged her lungs for more air. She wanted desperately to grab her chest, but nothing moved. Her hand was a ball of pure fat. Sweat formed in her brow with the effort of trying to, really just thinking about, moving her arm. The tips of her fingers moved a tenth of an inch in an effort to at least make a fist.

Her exertion caused her heart to speed up. It raced as she relaxed her hand. The tiniest of movements pushed her right over the cliff. Blood felt like it was going to explode and shoot out of her body. Limbs tingled. She wanted to scream in fear and pain, but… she was hungry. She continued to gulp away. As the pressure mounted. She closed her eyelids tight wanting this nightmare to be over, just waiting for something to give way. Her heart slammed in her chest. Pound! Pound! Pound!

Pound!

Thunk.

Kathunk…

Nothing. Peace. Quiet. She relaxed. She wheezed all of the air out of her lungs. It was over.

She sank into herself and herself into the void.

Nothingness.

Nothingness.

And then a voice.

“Hey.” The voice floated into her brain from she knew neither who nor where. “Wake up, sexy! It’s supper time.” The voice was soft. Friendly. Reassuring. Then came a whisper that kissed her soul.

“Hungry girl…”

Kathunk. Her heart beat a heavy push and a laboured gasp filled her lungs as far as they could again. The voice. It was right. She was hungry.

So hungry! She gulped and gulped furiously on her feeding tube. There wasn’t enough coming out. There was never enough, never fast enough. Was the food good? Was it even food? It didn’t matter as long as there was more of it. A never ending supply for her never ending appetite.

But what did it even mean anymore when she asked herself, was it good? What was good?

And that was another thing. “Sexy”. The voice always called her sexy, but what did that even mean? What even was sex? She gulped and gulped at the hose, levelling out her aching, deep desire for whatever it was she was being fed as she pondered “sexy”.

Just a little bit ago, it felt like she was going to explode, that her heart was ripping out of her chest and her fingers bursting from the pressure, but here she was again. She was trapped. Completely trapped. Namelessly trapped in herself. The world had been dark for so long now that she had forgotten a time when with great effort she could force her eyes open against the avalanche of fat that was her forehead to see the faintest sliver of light. Now, just darkness.

Who was she?

The lack of air was beginning to catch up with her again. Who was she? Think. Try. Her lazy, gluttonous mind found the concept of pizza again. The sharp acid of pizza sauce fluttered through her mind. Was there more to her than pizza? Why pizza? Did she like it? She gulped at her food and tried to make it taste like what pizza was in her mind. It wasn’t the same.

The thought of pizza made her happy. But she couldn’t ask for it, as she couldn’t speak. She couldn’t eat it, for she couldn’t move. She couldn’t do anything but eat not-pizza, and not quite breathe. She wheezed and tried and failed for another deep breath.

Happy… It dawned on her, the idea of happy. It was warm and nice. The idea of “reading” was also there. “Comfort”. She wheezed and found herself too short of breath to continue exerting herself with thought.

Dizziness came over her, or at least as dizzy as she could be being buried helplessly in herself. Happy seemed so nice and this wasn’t it. This was something else. Something not happy. She fought and gasped for air. So little came in, so little could her lungs move. This was not happy.

She remembered something else other than hungry. She remembered the world fading away from her and then jolting back. The world fading away… It wasn’t happy, but it was less not happy. How did it happen? She felt like she wanted to grab her chest and couldn’t and then everything was gone and there was peace.

She missed peace. She wanted peace.

She flexed any muscle she had left. Nothing moved, but her heart screamed and took off again. Her lungs ached. Blood squeezed and squished into everywhere that it could still get that wasn’t already been clogged off long ago. Tingling took over her buried limbs. She fought. She raged. She screamed voicelessly.

She tried to make fists again, but all she could feel was numb tingling. Everywhere numbness. Everywhere pressure. Everywhere fading…. Her heart slowed. Her mind slowed. She quit trying.

Her chest drooped. Muscles relaxed. Peace. Tingling numb peace.

Tingling faded.

She faded and gulped and faded and gulped and faded…

Peace.

Nothingness.

Nothingness.

A voice. A soft voice spoke into her mind. “Dessert,” said a purring voice that dripped like honey into her ear. “Wake up, sexy. It’s dessert time.”

A spark! There was a deep, awful heaving inside of her chest as her heart beat once again. The force of the jolt caused her overgrown eyes to nearly almost open and see the world once more. She gasped and desperately took in all of the precious air that she could. Her chest was far too sunk under the hundreds of pounds of lazy fat that she fought against for every breath to barely register a ripple from her heaving.

This time, once she settled down to her usual tortured existence, it dawned on her that there was a ringing in her ears. There was a warmth and a numbness to her being. Her heart still thumped up to her sunken temples as usual, but it had slowed and weakened. Her wheeze was shallower. She tried another deep breath, but couldn’t fight against her chest anymore.

Was she cursed with immortality? Or... Was this was finally it?

She concentrated, which alone winded her further. Who was she? Why was she here? What was her name? What was her happy? Think. Remember. Anything…

A book! She read a book once. It was… She struggled and wheezed. Not enough air. Her heart slowed.

It came to her! A dream. About a book. She ate pizza and read a book. It was…. About Easter Island... The people that lived there before European colonization. Sweat formed everywhere she still had feeling. Still she tasted the creamy butterscotch pudding flow into her mouth.

There were trees there, on Easter Island. Rapa Nui. They all got cut down to make the Moai. Her hidden, buried eyes rolled upwards as she fought the sunset. Kathunk, her heart beat once, savagely in her buried ears rang louder and louder. Kathunk.

She wondered. Gulp. Kathunk. A headache grew in her brain. What was it like..? Ka….

To… Hold…. Fading…. The headache grew and what she had for muscles tensed. Thunkathunkathunk.

Brief release. Her eyes quit rolling back and rested. Everything rested. Everything dimmed. Gulp.

What was it like to hold… Kathunk. She couldn’t feel the sweat anymore.

The axe… Gulp. Her chest rose in a wheezing gasp, pushing, pushing, pushing against fat for air.

As you… Ka…. The ringing in her ears softened.

Chopped… Gulp. She pushed and pushed with her lungs. No more air.

Down… Thunk. Her chest sank.

The… Gulp. The headache faded.

Last… Gulp. Sexy.

Palm… Gulp. Hungry.

Tree… Gu…