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devastatiion — It Was All Just A Little Mistake
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Published: 2017-03-01 22:10:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 360; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 0
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i cant look at myself in the mirror anymorei begged for my mirror to be covered up so i couldn't see myself- said i was scared
cause holy fuck i would sit infront of there for hours looking at my bleeding wounds and crying over how much of an idiot i was- am
would call myself out for everything
im too fat, i've destroyed my body, look at those eyebags they look disgusting
im fucking disgusting and theres nothing i can do about them
and i fucking deserve them too
everyone's gonna hate me in the end
i cant even be fucking nice for a single day because im too much of a cunt to do anything about myself
in class i dont even make eyecontact- they made fun of me so much the other day and i didnt even look up
i was shaking so hard, i wanted to disappear
and its always been the same, no body fucking likes me
and i cant even talk to my friends now, im too scared of their reaction
im too scared
im pathetic
i cant stay happy for longer than half an hour nowadays
i feel empty
it feels worthless
and i feel even worse still because now my dad doesnt accept me
i thought he did, i really thought so
but now he wont look me in the eye
we cant talk as easily
im sorry
im sorry for not being born like you wanted me to be
i didnt mean to be gay, i really fucking didnt
im sorry im sorry im sorry
and now my sister left and will never come back
i haven't seen her in 5 years
she could be dead and i wouldnt fucking know
last night i was outright sobbing
i couldnt stop myself, my pillow was stained with tears
everyone's gone
nobody's coming back
why is everything like this
why am i like this
why do i bother.
im going to sleep.
