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devastatiion — It Was All Just A Little Mistake

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Published: 2017-03-01 22:10:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 360; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 0
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Description i cant look at myself in the mirror anymore
i begged for my mirror to be covered up so i couldn't see myself- said i was scared
cause holy fuck i would sit infront of there for hours looking at my bleeding wounds and crying over how much of an idiot i was- am
would call myself out for everything
im too fat, i've destroyed my body, look at those eyebags they look disgusting
im fucking disgusting and theres nothing i can do about them

and i fucking deserve them too 
everyone's gonna hate me in the end
i cant even be fucking nice for a single day because im too much of a cunt to do anything about myself
in class i dont even make eyecontact- they made fun of me so much the other day and i didnt even look up
i was shaking so hard, i wanted to disappear 
and its always been the same, no body fucking likes me 

and i cant even talk to my friends now, im too scared of their reaction 
im too scared
im pathetic

i cant stay happy for longer than half an hour nowadays
i feel empty
it feels worthless

and i feel even worse still because now my dad doesnt accept me
i thought he did, i really thought so
but now he wont look me in the eye
we cant talk as easily
im sorry
im sorry for not being born like you wanted me to be
i didnt mean to be gay, i really fucking didnt 
im sorry im sorry im sorry


and now my sister left and will never come back
i haven't seen her in 5 years
she could be dead and i wouldnt fucking know

last night i was outright sobbing
i couldnt stop myself, my pillow was stained with tears
everyone's gone
nobody's coming back

why is everything like this

why am i like this

why do i bother.



im going to sleep.
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