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Edward Cullen is a broody, bipolar, emo motherfucker. One second, he tells Bella he loves her, and the next, he's saying she's not good enough for him. What a bunch of pathetic emo teenage drama bullshit. I'd like to bump into Rob Pattinson sometime and kick a couple of his fuckin' teeth out. And he says his purpose is to protect Bella... Yeah... In New Moon, Jasper (one of Edward's brothers or some such shit, I don't know or care) goes apeshit after she gets a papercut, so he fuckin' lunges at her, and Edward throws her across the room, resulting in... You guessed it: a huge gash on her fuckin' arm. Way to solve the problem, asshole. I haven't seen so many emos in one place since The Cure was popular. I don't even blame Stephanie Meyer for creating the Twilight saga. I blame the people who cast the actors for the movies. By the way, I don't care how popular the Twilight movies are, Stephanie Meyer's name will never be as well-known as Stephen King, JK Rowling, Robert Ludlum, Tom Clancy, etc. Pattinson's a whiny emo bitch and Kristen Stewart's a slut. I don't even have a problem with Taylor Lautner. The guy's a decent actor, and he actually seems like he'd be a pretty decent guy in real life. I guess you'd have to consider me on Team Jacob. I do wish he didn't spend half the time running around in nothing but boxers though. And you know, John Lennon made the comment that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, and people lost their minds, however... I guarantee you... If Kristen, Taylor, or Rob said Twilight was bigger than Jesus, people would fucking worship them more than they already do. Rob could assassinate Obama and everyone would be like "Eh, fuck it, he's in Twilight. Give him a medal."

Description
Edward Cullen is a broody, bipolar, emo motherfucker. One second, he tells Bella he loves her, and the next, he's saying she's not good enough for him. What a bunch of pathetic emo teenage drama bullshit. I'd like to bump into Rob Pattinson sometime and kick a couple of his fuckin' teeth out. And he says his purpose is to protect Bella... Yeah... In New Moon, Jasper (one of Edward's brothers or some such shit, I don't know or care) goes apeshit after she gets a papercut, so he fuckin' lunges at her, and Edward throws her across the room, resulting in... You guessed it: a huge gash on her fuckin' arm. Way to solve the problem, asshole. I haven't seen so many emos in one place since The Cure was popular. I don't even blame Stephanie Meyer for creating the Twilight saga. I blame the people who cast the actors for the movies. By the way, I don't care how popular the Twilight movies are, Stephanie Meyer's name will never be as well-known as Stephen King, JK Rowling, Robert Ludlum, Tom Clancy, etc. Pattinson's a whiny emo bitch and Kristen Stewart's a slut. I don't even have a problem with Taylor Lautner. The guy's a decent actor, and he actually seems like he'd be a pretty decent guy in real life. I guess you'd have to consider me on Team Jacob. I do wish he didn't spend half the time running around in nothing but boxers though. And you know, John Lennon made the comment that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, and people lost their minds, however... I guarantee you... If Kristen, Taylor, or Rob said Twilight was bigger than Jesus, people would fucking worship them more than they already do. Rob could assassinate Obama and everyone would be like "Eh, fuck it, he's in Twilight. Give him a medal."