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Description
"I Shit In The Mall Today"
By Brian A. (deviantfafnir)
Formatted by Matt M. (MingotheMerciless)

God, dude
I shit in the mall today.
I was just standin' in Books A Million, and out of nowhere, I'm just like, "I am GOING... to shit my pants."
And it was awful.
It hurt.

I felt like my asshole was falling out.

So I'm shitting
In a toilet
And I'm in pain

Turd starts comin' out
And I have no choice but to suck it back in while I
better prepare for it to come out.

So then I'm just like
FUCCCCCKKKK ITTT
And I just launch it.

"Splash"
It goes.
So I stand up.
Shove in all the TP I was using to cover the seat.
Because they didn't have those fuckin'...
paper ass gasket things.

Then I used the ENTIRE roll of TP.
And flushed.
And ran away.
And I temporarily limped.

Seriously.

By the way
this Books A Million place had Settlers of Catan.
$42

But yeah, I destroyed the toilet.
Before I flushed, I noticed brown streaks all around the bowl.

Courtesy of me.

Description
"I Shit In The Mall Today"
By Brian A. (deviantfafnir)
Formatted by Matt M. (MingotheMerciless)

God, dude
I shit in the mall today.
I was just standin' in Books A Million, and out of nowhere, I'm just like, "I am GOING... to shit my pants."
And it was awful.
It hurt.

I felt like my asshole was falling out.

So I'm shitting
In a toilet
And I'm in pain

Turd starts comin' out
And I have no choice but to suck it back in while I
better prepare for it to come out.

So then I'm just like
FUCCCCCKKKK ITTT
And I just launch it.

"Splash"
It goes.
So I stand up.
Shove in all the TP I was using to cover the seat.
Because they didn't have those fuckin'...
paper ass gasket things.

Then I used the ENTIRE roll of TP.
And flushed.
And ran away.
And I temporarily limped.

Seriously.

By the way
this Books A Million place had Settlers of Catan.
$42

But yeah, I destroyed the toilet.
Before I flushed, I noticed brown streaks all around the bowl.

Courtesy of me.