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devilsquirrel — what have u left behind?
Published: 2005-07-05 13:54:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 218; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 6
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Description you stand
on the platform,
waiting
for the train
thinking
what are the people
thinking
while while they wait?

if you
could collect
all of their ideas
in a jar
it could never
compare
to what
we would have thought
is stress
pain
loss
or anger.

Just on the subway platform...

these people
collect their thoughts
on this platform,
and the thoughts
melt
into the floors of the station
like wax
and
they become
a part
of the train station...
a part
of our world.


every day,
this station
is different,
it collects
our hundreds of thoughts,
and stores them
in the floor
of the station.

What thoughts have we left behind?
think...
and you will realize
what the subway station gives us...
a world of thoughts.
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Comments: 21

Louleialalouwe [2005-07-14 15:13:17 +0000 UTC]

Wow...that was awesome! I never thought of a train station that way....so cool^^
I like the way your mind works...you have a rare talent in poetry, my friend^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devilsquirrel In reply to Louleialalouwe [2005-07-14 18:42:14 +0000 UTC]

thanx! i is only 12...he l0l

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Louleialalouwe In reply to devilsquirrel [2005-07-14 19:39:53 +0000 UTC]

Wow, and you'll just keep getting better! Not many 12 yr olds around, besides a couple of my friends, but that's cool

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

devilsquirrel In reply to Louleialalouwe [2005-07-14 20:44:31 +0000 UTC]

thankies! i needed that!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Louleialalouwe In reply to devilsquirrel [2005-08-10 15:37:10 +0000 UTC]

Anytime, my friend, just speaking the truth^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devilsquirrel In reply to Louleialalouwe [2005-08-20 21:50:36 +0000 UTC]

thanx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

devilsquirrel In reply to Louleialalouwe [2005-07-14 20:43:10 +0000 UTC]

thankies! i needed that!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

spoo-all-ovayourrame [2005-07-09 19:58:51 +0000 UTC]

it seems a little bit distant to me i don't know what it is however some of it just seems not to flow so well. Anyhoo the piece and concept itself are good. on a scale of 1 ta 10 i give you maccoroni salad

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devilsquirrel In reply to spoo-all-ovayourrame [2005-07-09 21:25:22 +0000 UTC]

nice sense of humor! macoroni salad though?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

calantia [2005-07-06 18:04:16 +0000 UTC]

WOW! That is really cool! I always thought that the subways were full of other people's thoughts. I don't know what the person above me is talking about. I think that it is a really cool idea! My only comment would be playing with the spacing of each line. You could make some lines shorter... sometimes it ads to the power of the piece. Keep up the good work!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devilsquirrel In reply to calantia [2005-07-06 22:19:22 +0000 UTC]

thankies!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

stercus-caput [2005-07-06 01:11:13 +0000 UTC]

Wow.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devilsquirrel In reply to stercus-caput [2005-07-06 01:18:08 +0000 UTC]

thank you for your moral support, but due to her overwhelming popularity, the squirrel cannot answer her fan mail...this inconvinience must not be put into effect again, or the squirrel's secretary will see that u suffer, for she wrote this message. you may leave now!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

stercus-caput In reply to devilsquirrel [2005-07-06 01:20:33 +0000 UTC]

Um, you're... STUPID!!!!1

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

devilsquirrel In reply to stercus-caput [2005-07-06 15:11:19 +0000 UTC]

i hav never been called stupid...i get that from a hipicrit too...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

stercus-caput In reply to devilsquirrel [2005-07-06 20:14:33 +0000 UTC]

Hypocrite. Not hipicrit.

👍: 0 ⏩: 4

devilsquirrel In reply to stercus-caput [2005-07-06 22:26:46 +0000 UTC]

youre welcome...any time!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

devilsquirrel In reply to stercus-caput [2005-07-06 22:26:03 +0000 UTC]

don't blame me if i don't want to waste writing comments to U!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

devilsquirrel In reply to stercus-caput [2005-07-06 22:25:32 +0000 UTC]

don't blame me if i don't want to waste writing comments to U!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

devilsquirrel In reply to stercus-caput [2005-07-06 22:24:49 +0000 UTC]

hypocrite!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

devilsquirrel In reply to stercus-caput [2005-07-06 01:23:47 +0000 UTC]

--
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0