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Devonition — May Prompt
Published: 2012-05-30 15:21:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 1146; Favourites: 26; Downloads: 7
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[link] This month's prompt: FreedomRelated content
Comments: 42
I like this! The idea is nice, and the composition, too. I really like the space on the right side. But the second panel bugs me. First, his pose looks like he's jumping *over* the edge, not on top of it. And I don't like that you cut off his foot, it breaks the flow of the movement.
What I would do to "improve" this:
- have the guy climb on the edge on the last panel instead of jumping like that (or just keep him running).
- close the gaps between the bird wings and the panels, don't "break" the panels...
- ...until the very last one, where you could leave a bigger gap in front of the character to emphasize the "breaking out" idea.
Just a few notes, I couldn't help myself because I'm a big fan of one-page wordless comics, and damn if I don't like every little detail to be just right
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But yes I do see what you mean with your suggestions.
I like your ideas, and nothing personal, but I just feel those are very "traditional" ideas.
If I were to explain my reasoning for each panel, I drew those breaks in the panels to emphasize the freedom that the birds represented. And the reason his foot was cutoff in the second panel is because he dared to try and break out with a leap of faith. And the third panel represented being at the threshold, and being left with the choice to break out or to stay back.
I like your ideas though, and i'll keep 'em in mind for future comics XD thanks for the comment!
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Thank you for explaining! I always like to know why other artists do what they do 
I've been looking at the rest of your gallery, too, and you do some pretty impressive things with perspective. Keep up the good work!
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no problem! and thanks man XD
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*oops, "have the guy climb on the edge on the last panel" should've said "second panel".
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mice page layout that open space has never looked this beautiful
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yeah ur welcome it was such a different thing to see so i was very impressed lol
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I...can't believe i didn't see this before
nicely done Devo
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thank you good sir. i hope to maybe see you in this month's prompt :>?
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ah i see ;-; good luck with whatever you ever do decide to do
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YES, BEST INTERPRETATION OF THIS COMIC EVER.
THANK YOU XD
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yesss! glad it appealed to ya! : D
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thanks! yeah i was trying to go for minimalism here. But it looked to plain, so i put in those birds :>
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Makes it work.
submit it to the group please 8U
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WAIT, IT'S NOT SUBMITTED YET!? 8U aiyah
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It is, I think I missed it when I asked.
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:U i see it in the oneshots section though.
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then you put it in the wrong place |D
*goes and moves it*
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haha xD SURE I GUESS YOU COULD CALL IT THAT. Does he plummet to the ground!? or does he grow wings and fly away? Up to your imagination to decide
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And then there's this secret panel where he falls down. -shot- I LIKE THE PANELING, ACTUALLY~ <3
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PFFT. i was thinking of what it would look like if there was one xD
thanks!
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Make a spoof/extra panel of it. -shot-
NP~
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