HOME | DD
digitalmonalisa — ACIDtrip
by-nc-nd
Published: 2008-03-02 16:23:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 616; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 13
Redirect to original
Description
this is my best guess as to what it might look like
just playin around with photo shop way too late at night
Related content
Comments: 95
I can't do this without my third arm!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Return to this place in exactly seven and a half million years.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You call that job satisfaction, because I don't.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I don't know what all the fuss is about. Vogons are the worst Marksmen in the Galaxy.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It won't work on me. I'm already a woman.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
So two heads is what does it for a girl these days?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Not that anyone cares what I say, but the Restaurant is on the other end of the universe.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
So long, and thanks for all the fish!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
* What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your present circumstances seems more likely, consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ford, I think I'm a sofa.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I know how you feel.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Go with the hunch of a man whose brain is fuelled by LEMONS?!! This is Suicide!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
If there's anything more important than my ego on this ship, I want it caught and shot right now!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I could calculate your chance of survival, but you won't like it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Incredible... it's even worse than I thought it would be.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Humma Kavula is a person? I thought he was swearing!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
"Space," says the introduction to The Hitchhiker's Guide, "is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is." A... a... and so on. It also says that if you hold a lungful of air, you can survive in the total vacuum of space for about 30 seconds.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Beeblebrox, universally considered to be the dimmest star in several solar systems, is most famous for his controversial defeat of Humma Kavula, who claimed many thought they were voting for the "Worst-Dressed Sentient Being in the Universe" contest. Humma Kavula, of course, is best remembered for his slanderous "Don't Vote for Stupid!" campaign.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'd give you advice, but you wouldn't listen. No one ever does.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Resistance is useless!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
So much for the laws of physics....
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Normality? We can talk about normality until the cows come home.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ford: What is normal?
Trillian: What is home?
Zaphod: What are cows?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning, four of his audience members died of internal haemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. The absolute worst poetry in the universe was written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex. Luckily, it was destroyed when the Earth was.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The Book: It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a Sperm Whale had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet. Since this isn't a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity. This is what it thought, as it fell:
The Whale: Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay, calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my... well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it? And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Ground! [dies]
The Book: Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, "Oh no, not again." Many people have speculated that if we knew why the bowl of petunias had thought that, we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It is the most remarkable, certainly the most successful, book ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor. More popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty Three Things to Do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters - Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes, and Who is this God Person Anyway?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The Point-of-View gun conveniently does precisely what its name suggests. That is if you point it at someone and pull the trigger, they instantly see things from your point of view. It was designed by Deep Thought, but commissioned by a consortium of intergalactic angry housewives, who after countless arguments with their husbands were sick to the teeth of ending those arguments with the phrase "You just don't get it, do you?"
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
It's an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was the most intelligent species occupying the planet, instead of the third most intelligent. The second most intelligent creatures were, of course, Dolphins, who, curiously enough, had long known of the impending destruction of Earth. They'd made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger, but most of their communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double backwards somersault through a hoop while whistling The Star-Spangled Banner, but in fact the message was this: "So long, and thanks for all the fish."
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Trillian: Marvin!
[Marvin enters]
Marvin: I think you ought to know that I'm feeling very depressed.
Trillian: Well, we have something that should take your mind off things.
Marvin: It won't work. I have an exceptionally large mind.
Trillian: Yeah, we know. But uh, we need you to go down to the number two entry bay and pick up our stowaways and bring them up here.
Marvin: Just that? I won't enjoy it.
Trillian: Yeah, well, that's life.
Marvin: Life. Don't talk to me about life.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The extraordinary story of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy begins very simply, it begins with a man. An Earthman, to be precise. Who no more knows his destiny, than a tea leaf knows the history of the East India Company. His name is Arthur Dent. He is a five-foot-eight-inch-tall ape descendant, and someone is trying to drive a bypass through his house.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It's an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was the most intelligent species occupying the planet, instead of the third most intelligent. The second most intelligent creatures were, of course, Dolphins, who, curiously enough, had long known of the impending destruction of Earth. They'd made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger, but most of their communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits.
The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double backwards somersault through a hoop while whistling The Star-Spangled Banner, but in fact the message was this: "So long, and thanks for all the fish."
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Vogons. Vogons are one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy. Not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious, and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, lost, found, queried, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighter. On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
But with space being really big and all, the chances of being picked up within that time are 22,079,460,347 to one against. Strangely, this is also the telephone number of an Islington flat where Arthur Dent went to a fancy dress party, and met a very nice young woman whom he totally blew it with.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ford: Didn't you think it was strange I was trying to shake hands with a car?
Arthur: I assumed you were drunk.
Ford: I thought cars were the dominant lifeform. I was trying to introduce myself.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Mr. Prosser: Come off it Mr. Dent, you can't lie in front of the bulldozers forever.
Arthur: I'm game. We'll see who rusts first!
Mr. Prosser: This bypass has got the be built and it is going to be built!
Arthur: Why has it got to be built?
Mr. Prosser: It's a bypass. You've got to build bypasses! Besides, you should've made your protest months ago. These plans have been on display at the planning office now for a year.
Arthur: "On display"?! I had to go down to a cellar!
Mr. Prosser: Mr. Dent, have you any idea how much damage this bulldozer would suffer if I just let it roll right over you?
Arthur: How much?
Mr. Prosser: None at all.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ford: [talking about Zaphod] He's my semi half brother.
Zaphod: He shares three of the same mothers as me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Trillian: Let's go somewhere.
Arthur: Yeah. Definitely. Um, where did you have in mind?
Trillian: Madagascar.
Arthur: [slowly] Is that that new club on Dean Street?
Trillian: No... it's a country off the coast of Africa.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
[At a costume party. Loud music is playing.]
Trillian: Who are you?
Arthur: Er, Dent, Arthur Dent.
Trillian: [in reference to his costume] No, I mean who are you.
Arthur: Oh, "Livingston, I presume". Yeah, not as good as Darwin, but it's the best I could do on short notice.
Trillian: You're the first person who's gotten that right. Everyone keeps calling me Santa.
Arthur: Really?
Trillian: Yeah. And I though the Beagle was a dead giveaway!
Arthur: Well, I suppose the people who come to these parties are drunken idiots.
Trillian: [doesn't hear him clearly] What?
[Music stops]
Arthur: I said all these people are idiots!
[Everyone stares at Arthur]
Arthur: Oh, God!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>