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Published: 2015-08-24 21:33:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 2848; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 0
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Description
The sun sank behind the mountains, painting the valley in gold and red, and the tribe fled from the oncoming shadows. It was almost time to move on from this land, but the Great Fire still burned within the caves here, and the first members of mankind huddled around the safety of its warm glow. The hunters knapped stone arrowheads, while the women skinned and cooked the day’s kills.Malloch had his own work to do, facing a bare, flat wall in the back of the cave. It was his job to make the marks. Small bowls sat on the ground around him, and his fingers quickly dipped into one or the other before returning to the rock face. He had painted the images in his head since he was a child: antler-runners and fang-claws, fly-fasts and dig-lows. The marks called game to their lands, and gave strength to their hunters, and kept peace with the forces of nature.
Tonight, he drew different marks. There weren’t any of his usual reds and oranges, only stark black, white, and gray ash. Likewise, his lines were crisp and straight, with sharp ninety-degree angles and symmetrical composition. Two vertical lines rose up from the ground to just above his head, where they were connected by a horizontal one. Combined with the dirt floor, they formed a perfect rectangle, which he began to fill with four smaller rectangles. Everyone agreed that his antler-runners were beautiful, but they were flat, monotone. Each of these rectangles, he traced with shades of gray until they seemed to raise from the surface of the wall. The outer perimeter, he lined with a black so dark that it appeared to crack the stone itself.
His face twisted with concentration as he perfected the details, finally etching a perfectly round circle near the right-most edge of the frame, about waist-level. Such a focus gripped him that he didn’t even notice that the entire tribe was watching. Or that they had begun to gather behind him. Each of them stared at this new mark with puzzlement. Nothing about it was in line with nature: not the lack of color, nor the rigid geometry.
Attle, the head of the hunters, stood at the front of the group, with a rock in hand. Malloch licked the tip of his finger and reached in to add the last bit of detail to the circle, which almost appeared as a shiny orb, standing off of the wall.
The hunter raised the rock high over-head, and added red to the palette.
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Comments: 21
Wind-Inu [2015-09-28 15:34:59 +0000 UTC]
Hey, I'm only a month late to this one! I wonder if they ever did anything with the door after Malloch finished. Or did Attle's rock finish him off before the door was complete? I guess I'll never know. I think it's prolli implied that the door was never finished, but I can imagine that wasn't the case. Maybe they ran away from the door because they didn't understand it, and someday in the future another incarnation finds it and ventures back to this time.
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Queen-Kitty [2015-08-31 20:09:00 +0000 UTC]
Dannnggg! A deviantart submission in August and a pretty gripping one at that!
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distortified In reply to Queen-Kitty [2015-09-02 00:00:03 +0000 UTC]
Mwahaha THERE SHALL BE MORE!!
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Queen-Kitty In reply to distortified [2015-09-21 18:24:42 +0000 UTC]
It's shocked!!! MORE?? Not in my wildest dreams in a month other than FF month!
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C-A-Harland [2015-08-28 20:15:20 +0000 UTC]
Excellent work. This was a very gripping piece and I love that final line
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distortified In reply to C-A-Harland [2015-09-02 00:00:44 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much! And good to see you outside of July!
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TheBrokenBride [2015-08-27 18:04:23 +0000 UTC]
That last line. Also, I have a feeling that I would try to open that Door if I came across it in a cave somewhere.
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distortified In reply to TheBrokenBride [2015-09-01 23:44:35 +0000 UTC]
I have a feeling that it might open if you tried.
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TheBrokenBride In reply to distortified [2015-09-04 14:38:49 +0000 UTC]
Well, of course it would. I've read too much fantasy for it not to, haha.
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RattledFawn [2015-08-26 02:44:22 +0000 UTC]
This is lovely. You have a knack for imagery and a natural
writer's voice. The ending was unsuspected but well created.
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distortified In reply to RattledFawn [2015-09-02 00:01:36 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much. I'm glad it caught your attention!
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RattledFawn In reply to distortified [2015-09-09 22:17:33 +0000 UTC]
You're very welcome dear!
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IcySkittles [2015-08-26 01:59:21 +0000 UTC]
I wouldn't have expected such a twist to a prehistoric story like this! Excellent story concept, I was absorbed with the words
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distortified In reply to IcySkittles [2015-09-02 00:02:28 +0000 UTC]
I like to imagine that most prehistoric stories end a little bit like this, but I guess I'm probably underselling our ancestors just a smidgen.
Regardless, thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment, and I'm glad you dug it.
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vigour-mortis [2015-08-25 17:54:42 +0000 UTC]
This is fantastic. I love prehistory and you did a wonderful job. I particularly like how you named the animals.
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distortified In reply to vigour-mortis [2015-08-26 00:03:16 +0000 UTC]
Thank you thank you! Didn't have time for this one during FFM so I figured I'd get it out of the way now haha. Also, digging your new username!
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vigour-mortis In reply to distortified [2015-08-26 00:20:09 +0000 UTC]
I am glad you decided to share it with us! I hope to see more of your stuff soon. (And thanks, I like my new username too!)
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