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Description
Moonwave awoke with a startled grunt, her body suddenly jerking to life as her back legs punched the bottom of her sleeping pool, rising to the surface with a gasp, she flung her front half out of the cold water, her palms pressed to the marble floor in panic, her fins risen as water dripped off her dark body, elbows shaking and breath heavy as she heaved. The sound of the water sloshing around in her pool echoed around her room, the floor surrounding her pool layered with a coat of gleaming water. Collecting herself as she forced her talons to stop trying to death grip the ground below, blinking back the blur from her eyes, focusing on the moonlight filling her room and reflecting off the scales of her back. It was hard to breath for a moment, the maggot filled eyes of Keensight just blurring away back into its hole. "No." Moonwave muttered as she swallowed the panic. She thought they were gone. He was gone. But he was there, getting closer.

She loomed out of her pool, shaking, anger rising. She worked hard to get him out of her brain, and he was back. She wasn't surprised though, it was going to happen. Her eyes burned as a loud and long growl erupted from her throat, hauling herself out of her pool immediately with surprising speed. Soaking wet as her scale rippled as she walked around her room. Snatching her leather satchel from a hook by the large window, she whipped around and grabbed her journal, a ink well, and a pen. She turned again and grabbed her dagger and silver studded earring. Throwing the dagger in the bag with a small pouch of coins, she stabbed her earrings into her ears and bolted out of her room, slamming the door shut behind her. It happened in a matter of minutes, leaving her room soaking wet, and leading a trail of wet talon prints up to the roof.

  Shoving open the door, she took in the night air, but didn't waste time. Running towards the edge, she took a massive leap into the air, flinging water in every direction before diving like an Osprey downwards, snapping out her wings and then winging her way towards the middle class part of town, where the houses were more spread out. In took minutes considering the speed she was flying, filled with panic as she wiped the redness and gloss from her eyes, she finally spotted her target. A old house. Made of stone and wood, the chimney smoking from the top, but the inside was dark. A large oak tree hung over the house, blotching out a good amount of moonlight from hitting the house, but the chimney was so tall it was towering out of the tree itself as to not smoke out the leave. Landing with a whoosh of wings on the front lawn, she blinked at the house and it's familiarity. Lumbering forwards as she readjusted her satchel around herself, she didn't hesitate to bang on the wooden door. "Hummingbird!" she called in a rush, her large fist banging on the door. "Hummingbird wake up!" she shouted. "HUMMINGBIRD!" Moonwave roared, getting inpatient, her talon finally giving away to the door. "Humming it happened again even aft-" but her eyes didn't land on the scowling face of her therapist, instead, a small black and pink and gold boy answered, about two years old, a whole himself smaller than Moon. He looked shocked but sleepy, like he just got up. The Rain, Night dragonet looked up at the looming Moonwave. He cocked his head. "Mommy and Dadd-" he started in a raspy voice before a large fat Nightwing scuffed him out of the way. "Sweetfruit I told you to get your tail in bed!" the dragoness snapped eagerly, pointing at the small hybrid and then to the stairs to the back of the room Moon could see in the door. Great, nanny. Moons mind scoffed as she rolled her eyes at the plump purple and black Nightwing and idiot child.

  Be nice. A firmly protective voice echoed in her brain, and Moowave rolled her eyes again, realizing the gleam of the teardrops by the Nightwings eyes. "No-" she started but Moon scoffed and forced her head in the house. "Hummingbird!" she roared through the house before the Nightwing shoved her snout out with a forceful wing. "What do you think you're doing!" she whisper growled, wiggling a finger in her face, making Moon step back with a look of distaste. "What does it look like?" she scoffed, holding her hand up in a 'isn't it obvious' type way. "Hummingbird is out with her husband right now Missy. Its their anniversary you loon now go away!" she snapped, almost closing the door on Moons face before Moon stuck out her talon and stopped it. "Where." she demanded. "Official Shield business." she stated with a raised brow, looking down at her. The plump Nightwing made a weirdly cute scrunchy face. "Liar! Hummingbrid wouldn't get involved with the law, AND it's her special night with Softspoken! Now I'm sorry but it's mighty rude of you to wake up little Sweetfruit and demand her whereabouts, now go away and find her tomorrow during working hours." she snapped bitterly, her mind buzzing with annoyance before slapping Moons hand off the door and slamming it closed.

Moon stepped back with a blink and a snort, her tail lashing and her claws going back to shaking in the grass as her talons dug into the dirt. "Great." she muttered. So Hummingbrid was who knew where and she was here with nothing. She needed her. Growling, Moonwave looked at the tree and shook out her wings, feeling a little defeated. Turning around, she lumbered slowly away from the wood and stone house, swallowing. However, as soon as Moon unfurled her wings, a little scuttle came from behind her and she whirled with a large growl, teeth bared and wings flying out to flair.

"eep!" a pink a black swirled dragonet flinched back and lowered himself down, wings shaky. Burrowing his head in his wings, Moonwave glared for a second before standing down with a growl. "What do you want little brat?" she asked, her voice raspy and low, inwardly wondering how he managed to get out of the house without nanny finding him. Slowly, Moon watched him unfurl himself, shaking. Gross little parasite. "Uh m-m-mom-m-y-" he stammered, really, really....really struggling to find his words. "Spit it out!" she snapped, stepping forwards with a glare. "MOOnwave?" he suddenly yelped, scooting back. "You Moonwave?" he whispered, his scarlet and pink eyes looking at the grass the entire time. "In the flesh." she said bluntly, her tail snaking over the grass with irritation.

Her eyes followed the slow and terrified movements of Sweetfruit, tilting her head to the side once she saw him bring out a small scroll from under his tiny wing, his small black talons reaching out to give it to her, his eyes squeezed shut and his grip shaky. "Da-dad-daddy said he saw a vi-vis-vision of you comin-coming he-here tonight." he stammered, looking up as he chewed his lip, a small gold hoop earring glinting in his right ear. "Be-before they left fo-for date, mommy wro-wrote a letter." he said, his voice high but soft. Moonwave's wings twitched for how long it took for him to spill out the words. She would rather have him shaking in fear than hyper as fuck though.

Reaching out she snatched the scroll greedily and suddenly turned around and took off with a large woosh of wings, blowing a massive gust of spring pollen and air into Sweetfruits face. Looking over her shoulder as she flew up grasping the scroll tight, she saw his wild pink eyes look after her is curiosity. In the end a child was always curious, no matter how nervous. Winging away, her scales vanished and blended into the distance of the stars, tilting her wings up and towards the Floating Isles above the entire Mezzo.

It took a little bit, the Isles being so high and the town being so low, but eventually, Moonwave landed with a huff on the tallest and highest Island, gripping the scroll and her satchel tight. Turning in a circle near a small stream that wound through the grass and toppled off the end of the island. Small trees scattered over the island but Moon chose a spot of openness, the stars twinkling overhead and a single full moon shining in the sky, making her scales turn a silvery blue and her ebony horns gleam. Getting in a comfortable position on her stomach with her wings relaxing on the grass, she focused on the small sound of the stream trickling bye and a small breeze running through her fins. Biting her cheek, Moon flipped the scroll in between her talons a few times before slows unraveling it. Words in blue ink were scribbled half way down in Hummingbird's annoyingly neat and stick like handwriting. Blinking as her night vision adjusted to the lighter paper, she read-

Moonwave,

Softspoken told me you would be stopping by my house tonight, but unfortunately I can't be there. Tonight is my anniversary and it's not working hours.
But I left this for you because my husband told me you would be in a panic. I assume it being so late, you are having some trouble sleeping again. Come in early in the morning tomorrow dear, and we can talk, but remember what I told you. When I'm not able to help, use your journal. You need to get back to using it. Remember to let it all out, don't keep anything in. They are your own thoughts, no one to criticize, no one to judge.

Fly with the Moons Moonwave,
Hummingbird

"What?" Moon said out loud, sounding shocked. She flipped the scroll over, a blank paper. She unraveled the rest of the scroll nothing. Re-reading over and over again, her grip became tighter. No! You're supposed to tell me what to do! Her thoughts snapped, tearing the scroll to shreds. "Seriously! The one time I actually want to talk!" she shouted, rubbing her palms together as she watched the shreds of the scroll get lifted into the air and into the sky. My journal doesn't tell me what to do! What do I do? I need answers! Moon growled and put her face in her hands, groaning and falling all the way to her side, her face hitting the soft grass as she took a defeated huff. Looking over her head at the satchel laying half open on the grass with her, she scowled at it, biting her lip and wiping the blood that dripped from the corner of her mouth.

Sitting up with another huff, she looked at the satchel for a long moment, knowing the journal and the ink were waiting inside. Rubbing her face, she waited a little longer starring at the satchel for a long while before she reached out and dumped out the condiments, the journal, pen, ink, dagger, and coins spilling out. Lifting a talon she twisted the earring in her ear before opening the well, dipping the pen, and then flipping to a new page. She starred at the blank pale paper for a moment before she started writing in curvy neat words.

April 7, 1 Full Moon, and 2 New,

  It's been a while. Almost a year. This thing has been collecting dust but I suppose it isn't my fault. A lot has happened. I've gone to jail. I've traumatized a Seawing boy. Lost more friends than I can count. Haven't talked to my sister in over two months. There was a fire. Rebuilding and then planning for the crime. An unfair trial. I only have a handful of dragons that can look at me without glaring, but I guess I'm even keeping them at a fair distance.

I wanted to go to see Hummingbird tonight. She told me to do this. I trust her judgment. Shes been good to me. She has not a single cloud of judgement clouding her soft mind, and when she tells me what to do, I follow and it helps. I trust her, even though it's only been a few weeks. I wanted to tell her my nightmares came back. Tonight. I don't know why. But they'er strange. They'er bright, and they come in snippets and it I wake up with a headache. But it turned so dark at the end. Keensight came back. Just staring with those maggots eating at his eyes. Why does it scare me every time? And why has it started now? Hummingbird would know. She would tell me.

No one knows I go to Therapy with her. I mean. Maybe Starfruit, Lily and Strum sense they were a part of the jury, but I don't think they've thought about it. I'm never going to tell anyone so it won't matter, but I guess I have to come up with an excuse for where I go three times a week at high noon. Maybe for a swim with Mowceana. Yeah. Thats good.

And then Wild. I've...not thought much about his classes. I go to him twice a week an hour before sundown. I have to check in and check out. Hes a interesting sort. Taps into meditation and shit. Fucking weird hippy. I haven't gotten along with him yet. I sit there and barley talk to him. Hes a freak, and I swear he smokes the devils leaf on the side. We walk in public a lot and he puts me in stupid situations that he knows will piss me off. Although I guess that's the point of an anger management class which isn't doing jack shit. Also another thing I won't be telling anyone.

Anyways. Why now? When things for me seem to be slowing down from all the punishment I've suffered so far? Why is it so hard to sleep so suddenly? It's not fucking fair, I was doing so well. I don't know and its frustrating. Is it the cuff? Is it giving me nightmares? Maybe, although-

---

  Moonwave leaned back as she bit her cheek, feeling her teeth dig into flesh and let blood flow to the corners of her mouth. Sucking in a breath she ran her talon through her fins, her tail flicking back and fourth with uncertainty. Using her talon she tapped the cuff wrapped around her wrist. Making a face, Moon picked at the dying scales around the cuff, flicking them away as her brows unfurrowed. She felt like the world was looking over her shoulder and breathing down her neck, waiting for her to do something considered wrong in their eyes, even by writing in her own journal. But no one was around for miles, only the stars watching, but it felt like even the stars were judging her with furrowed bright glares of disapproval. Blinking, she continued to write as her tail tip shook.

---

-never mind. They come and they go. Nightmares are nightmares, it's not something anyone needs to know about.

Despite them though, things have been, quiet. Every day goes by so slowly. I don't see a lot of dragons these days. I'm still hurt by Strum. I always thought he would have my back, through it all. That he would be there even if dragons like Lily and Starfruit tried to change his mind. But I was wrong to put so much trust in him. And I'm more upset at myself for letting my guard get so down around him, knowing something so strong wouldn't hold forever. I yet against trusted someone who took the knife and put it through my scales, cutting in deeper than any claws to my deepest fears and ripping them out to use against me. I wouldn't have cared so much if Lily and Starfruit was there, but now I see how much I mean to him. He's sorry, I know that, and hes trying to rekindle everything, but I'm not sure If I have the willpower to set myself up for that. I learned my lesson, I need to keep my guard up. I can't allow myself to be vulnerable.

I don't understand how he lets himself be so utterly manipulated that he molded himself into what others want from him. Hes so weak and pathetic sometimes, and fuck man, I tried to show the piece of shit, I tried to tell him to stop many times before. I don't force him to be anything hes not. I just needed him to be my friend, that's all, and instead, I'm always met with this confused dragon, fearful to let everything that represents him out from the back of his mind. And I blames pieces of shit like Starfruit and Lily who look to him and expect him to be the reasonable one, to look down at me and turn his back for them, who want him to be good, and to even let Strum think about something dark would be horrendous. Dragons like Abyss to seek their comfort in him and then cast him aside without a glace to see if he was ok. Skywing like Bloodstone who use him and guilt him into everything she pleases. Everyone uses him, and he lets it happen. " 'Be a good death machine' for Father. 'Be the ideal child' for Autumn. 'Be a good student' for Jade Mountain. 'Be a good Illumote' for the Alliance." I remember. Everyone wants him to be something for them. He's lost in trying to prove himself to others, and frankly, I fear even Vesper would flinch at how deep his situation is. I noticed. Strum seems to be his real self around me a lot of time, and thats all I want. But in the end, him being lost in other versions of himself made the break in our friendship. He hurt me, I knew one day he would, and it hurts so bad. I look at him and my chest burns like a Skywing breathed fire down my throat. I bite my cheek back raw and thinking about trying to trust him again makes me sick. I never thought I could have been so hurt, but I was wrong.

...I don't understand how I got punished. I served fair justice. I did it for the goodness of everything and everyone on this Mezzo. But I guess my word isn't enough. Pathfinder- well he didn't like it, Sek sort of drifted away after the Sand Kingdom. I got backlash from the public I guess, Icefeather drifted further away. But I don't fucking understand how I get the legal punishment when Bloodstone, and Abyss didn't get a lick of SHIT. First off, Abyss harmed a Alliance member with MAGIC non the less, and started a mass fire that has two child casualties. And Bloodstone. She needs to get sent off to a psych ward. I've never seen a dragon find pure and utter joy at the sound of screaming and the smell of burning and sizzling scales. Sure there were some bad souls in the Military, but shes a freak bitch. And she got off without a single string attached. I hope she dies in her own flames.

But at least the worst part is over. The cell, the trial. I just need a few more months of community service, and then a few more months on the Mezzo and I can go on missions. Fucking thank Clearsight. I'm planning a trip. A long one. I want to see some dragons in the Sea Kingdom, I need to do what I was going to do last summer. I'm going on my own. I don't know if I'll leave a note for anyone or not. I'm just telling Spitfire. I don't want anyone to follow, rest assured, I'm not stopping for a stupid Rainwing student dead in the desert.

Maybe I'll let Light know for the sake of her sanity with me, but she's not the best with secrets, and I don't want her telling Quin, so I guess not. I'll let Hummingbird know. No one knows I see her, so they wouldn't pass her twice on th- why am I writing this out like it matters. I don't think anyone will really notice, but that's good, time alone is what I need.

There's only a few dragons that I guess I can trust. Solstice. Never thought I would get close to a Whisperling again, even after Starbound, who, sort of, is still not ok after her shadow left her. I guess shes one of the few dragons who still haven't recovered. I don't think we'er friends anymore-

But Solstice is a good friend. I don't have many "girlfriends" if you like to call it that, and me and her seem to have the same personality. Shes a great kisser too, likes to be around me and I like to be around her. She's enjoyable to be with. She can take a joke with a laugh, wants to get drunk with me for the sake of fun, and seems to appreciate my words. Although she can be pushy at times, I guess I'm grateful for her company, even if we don't know much about each other in general. I wonder what her life was like before the Alliance. Did she have a dysfunctional family, live at the highest parts of the hives, grow up in the Scorpion den. Solstice is interesting because she doesn't give a lick of thought about who she was in the past. Another reason I like her. Shes more down to earth than most dragons and likes to be in the moment.

Quin is, another dragon I can trust. I guess I'm glad we'er- something, but I can't seem to think in a strait line when I think about him. Dragons like him and me don't get into relationships?? We don't settle down or have dragonets with a fucking soulmate we think we'er meant to be with. That's NOT what we do. What is wrong with me to think this might work? Am I just setting myself up again? Is it really safe to let my guard down? I always have these haunting thoughts, wondering and then telling me I made the wrong choice to act upon emotion. I think I actually scared? I have this weird tendency to fuck a lot of shit up, which I guess I'm used to, and in the end it makes me stronger, but do I seriously think me and him can work?

Are these second thoughts wrong? I don't even know the man! I mean, I know him. For these last two years now I've known him. But that mind block- it's hiding something and I feel so far in, I don't ever want him to reveal it to me. Like the fuck am I doing, He doesn't know anything about me either. He knows that I killed someone when I was younger. My dad, but that's the only context he got. He doesn't know anything else, and why does the thought of me telling him anything about my past make me want to vomit? Am I seriously that idiotic to care what he thinks. Do I really care that much? Why is he making this so FUCking hard? Am I going to ruin this? He said we can do it- together I guess, but why do I feel like this is very first thing I can't do? So many QUESTIONS!

----but I guess it fades away in the end right? He was always there. In the best way possible. He never looked at me differently, even after the trial and I was locked in a cell. He offered comfort when many were more than happy to escort me back to my cell or the Spire. He doesn't judge me for making crude remarks, and he only asks that I ever respect his opinions. Hes a gentleman when the time calls for- yeah he might have jealousy problems but I know I do too. Hes kind to me. So I guess all of this goes against my worries, and I think this can be good in the end, even despite my fear. I also said we can get through it together because we'er both walking down a dark tunnel. And there's some mornings I wake up with him and those questions seem like distant memories.

I never realized how big his wings were, big enough to wrap twice around me which is more than ok. And when the sun hits just right I can see the markings running down his stomach like little grey rivers, and the small grey blue flecks at the bottom of his neck near his collar bone. There's 13, I counted the kisses. His sail is my favorite part to run my talons through. Hes beautiful really. I want other dragons to see that in him.

April 7, 1 Full Moon, and 2 New
  Moonwave bit her cheek as she stopped writing and swallowed a lump in her throat, letting the ink dry out on the paper. Cracking her knuckles, she slowly started to put the condiments spread on the grass in front of her into her leather bag, the ink setting in and staining the paper with words. Blowing on the pages one last time, Moonclosed her journal and set it in her bag. She needed some sleep, she would be seeing Hummingbird early in the morning.

She felt a tiny weight lifted from her shoulders. It was moonhigh, and the night still wasn't over. "Nevermind sleep." she snickered to herself, hanging the bag over her shoulder and walking to the edge of the island. Opening her wings, lifted into the air with a glittering reflect of stars before diving down and making a strait shot towards the ocean. She hadn't seen Mowceana in a while.


LONG TIME no write. Getting to catch a gimps of Hummingbird (Moons therapists). Yay.

-Characters mentioned-
Bloodstone
Strum
Solstice
Abyss
Lily
Starfruit
Quin
Lightsteeler
Spitfire

4345 words
2501 + words (+1 ds for every 100 words past 2500)  58ds!

Art by me
Writting by me

For

Description
Moonwave awoke with a startled grunt, her body suddenly jerking to life as her back legs punched the bottom of her sleeping pool, rising to the surface with a gasp, she flung her front half out of the cold water, her palms pressed to the marble floor in panic, her fins risen as water dripped off her dark body, elbows shaking and breath heavy as she heaved. The sound of the water sloshing around in her pool echoed around her room, the floor surrounding her pool layered with a coat of gleaming water. Collecting herself as she forced her talons to stop trying to death grip the ground below, blinking back the blur from her eyes, focusing on the moonlight filling her room and reflecting off the scales of her back. It was hard to breath for a moment, the maggot filled eyes of Keensight just blurring away back into its hole. "No." Moonwave muttered as she swallowed the panic. She thought they were gone. He was gone. But he was there, getting closer.

She loomed out of her pool, shaking, anger rising. She worked hard to get him out of her brain, and he was back. She wasn't surprised though, it was going to happen. Her eyes burned as a loud and long growl erupted from her throat, hauling herself out of her pool immediately with surprising speed. Soaking wet as her scale rippled as she walked around her room. Snatching her leather satchel from a hook by the large window, she whipped around and grabbed her journal, a ink well, and a pen. She turned again and grabbed her dagger and silver studded earring. Throwing the dagger in the bag with a small pouch of coins, she stabbed her earrings into her ears and bolted out of her room, slamming the door shut behind her. It happened in a matter of minutes, leaving her room soaking wet, and leading a trail of wet talon prints up to the roof.

  Shoving open the door, she took in the night air, but didn't waste time. Running towards the edge, she took a massive leap into the air, flinging water in every direction before diving like an Osprey downwards, snapping out her wings and then winging her way towards the middle class part of town, where the houses were more spread out. In took minutes considering the speed she was flying, filled with panic as she wiped the redness and gloss from her eyes, she finally spotted her target. A old house. Made of stone and wood, the chimney smoking from the top, but the inside was dark. A large oak tree hung over the house, blotching out a good amount of moonlight from hitting the house, but the chimney was so tall it was towering out of the tree itself as to not smoke out the leave. Landing with a whoosh of wings on the front lawn, she blinked at the house and it's familiarity. Lumbering forwards as she readjusted her satchel around herself, she didn't hesitate to bang on the wooden door. "Hummingbird!" she called in a rush, her large fist banging on the door. "Hummingbird wake up!" she shouted. "HUMMINGBIRD!" Moonwave roared, getting inpatient, her talon finally giving away to the door. "Humming it happened again even aft-" but her eyes didn't land on the scowling face of her therapist, instead, a small black and pink and gold boy answered, about two years old, a whole himself smaller than Moon. He looked shocked but sleepy, like he just got up. The Rain, Night dragonet looked up at the looming Moonwave. He cocked his head. "Mommy and Dadd-" he started in a raspy voice before a large fat Nightwing scuffed him out of the way. "Sweetfruit I told you to get your tail in bed!" the dragoness snapped eagerly, pointing at the small hybrid and then to the stairs to the back of the room Moon could see in the door. Great, nanny. Moons mind scoffed as she rolled her eyes at the plump purple and black Nightwing and idiot child.

  Be nice. A firmly protective voice echoed in her brain, and Moowave rolled her eyes again, realizing the gleam of the teardrops by the Nightwings eyes. "No-" she started but Moon scoffed and forced her head in the house. "Hummingbird!" she roared through the house before the Nightwing shoved her snout out with a forceful wing. "What do you think you're doing!" she whisper growled, wiggling a finger in her face, making Moon step back with a look of distaste. "What does it look like?" she scoffed, holding her hand up in a 'isn't it obvious' type way. "Hummingbird is out with her husband right now Missy. Its their anniversary you loon now go away!" she snapped, almost closing the door on Moons face before Moon stuck out her talon and stopped it. "Where." she demanded. "Official Shield business." she stated with a raised brow, looking down at her. The plump Nightwing made a weirdly cute scrunchy face. "Liar! Hummingbrid wouldn't get involved with the law, AND it's her special night with Softspoken! Now I'm sorry but it's mighty rude of you to wake up little Sweetfruit and demand her whereabouts, now go away and find her tomorrow during working hours." she snapped bitterly, her mind buzzing with annoyance before slapping Moons hand off the door and slamming it closed.

Moon stepped back with a blink and a snort, her tail lashing and her claws going back to shaking in the grass as her talons dug into the dirt. "Great." she muttered. So Hummingbrid was who knew where and she was here with nothing. She needed her. Growling, Moonwave looked at the tree and shook out her wings, feeling a little defeated. Turning around, she lumbered slowly away from the wood and stone house, swallowing. However, as soon as Moon unfurled her wings, a little scuttle came from behind her and she whirled with a large growl, teeth bared and wings flying out to flair.

"eep!" a pink a black swirled dragonet flinched back and lowered himself down, wings shaky. Burrowing his head in his wings, Moonwave glared for a second before standing down with a growl. "What do you want little brat?" she asked, her voice raspy and low, inwardly wondering how he managed to get out of the house without nanny finding him. Slowly, Moon watched him unfurl himself, shaking. Gross little parasite. "Uh m-m-mom-m-y-" he stammered, really, really....really struggling to find his words. "Spit it out!" she snapped, stepping forwards with a glare. "MOOnwave?" he suddenly yelped, scooting back. "You Moonwave?" he whispered, his scarlet and pink eyes looking at the grass the entire time. "In the flesh." she said bluntly, her tail snaking over the grass with irritation.

Her eyes followed the slow and terrified movements of Sweetfruit, tilting her head to the side once she saw him bring out a small scroll from under his tiny wing, his small black talons reaching out to give it to her, his eyes squeezed shut and his grip shaky. "Da-dad-daddy said he saw a vi-vis-vision of you comin-coming he-here tonight." he stammered, looking up as he chewed his lip, a small gold hoop earring glinting in his right ear. "Be-before they left fo-for date, mommy wro-wrote a letter." he said, his voice high but soft. Moonwave's wings twitched for how long it took for him to spill out the words. She would rather have him shaking in fear than hyper as fuck though.

Reaching out she snatched the scroll greedily and suddenly turned around and took off with a large woosh of wings, blowing a massive gust of spring pollen and air into Sweetfruits face. Looking over her shoulder as she flew up grasping the scroll tight, she saw his wild pink eyes look after her is curiosity. In the end a child was always curious, no matter how nervous. Winging away, her scales vanished and blended into the distance of the stars, tilting her wings up and towards the Floating Isles above the entire Mezzo.

It took a little bit, the Isles being so high and the town being so low, but eventually, Moonwave landed with a huff on the tallest and highest Island, gripping the scroll and her satchel tight. Turning in a circle near a small stream that wound through the grass and toppled off the end of the island. Small trees scattered over the island but Moon chose a spot of openness, the stars twinkling overhead and a single full moon shining in the sky, making her scales turn a silvery blue and her ebony horns gleam. Getting in a comfortable position on her stomach with her wings relaxing on the grass, she focused on the small sound of the stream trickling bye and a small breeze running through her fins. Biting her cheek, Moon flipped the scroll in between her talons a few times before slows unraveling it. Words in blue ink were scribbled half way down in Hummingbird's annoyingly neat and stick like handwriting. Blinking as her night vision adjusted to the lighter paper, she read-

Moonwave,

Softspoken told me you would be stopping by my house tonight, but unfortunately I can't be there. Tonight is my anniversary and it's not working hours.
But I left this for you because my husband told me you would be in a panic. I assume it being so late, you are having some trouble sleeping again. Come in early in the morning tomorrow dear, and we can talk, but remember what I told you. When I'm not able to help, use your journal. You need to get back to using it. Remember to let it all out, don't keep anything in. They are your own thoughts, no one to criticize, no one to judge.

Fly with the Moons Moonwave,
Hummingbird

"What?" Moon said out loud, sounding shocked. She flipped the scroll over, a blank paper. She unraveled the rest of the scroll nothing. Re-reading over and over again, her grip became tighter. No! You're supposed to tell me what to do! Her thoughts snapped, tearing the scroll to shreds. "Seriously! The one time I actually want to talk!" she shouted, rubbing her palms together as she watched the shreds of the scroll get lifted into the air and into the sky. My journal doesn't tell me what to do! What do I do? I need answers! Moon growled and put her face in her hands, groaning and falling all the way to her side, her face hitting the soft grass as she took a defeated huff. Looking over her head at the satchel laying half open on the grass with her, she scowled at it, biting her lip and wiping the blood that dripped from the corner of her mouth.

Sitting up with another huff, she looked at the satchel for a long moment, knowing the journal and the ink were waiting inside. Rubbing her face, she waited a little longer starring at the satchel for a long while before she reached out and dumped out the condiments, the journal, pen, ink, dagger, and coins spilling out. Lifting a talon she twisted the earring in her ear before opening the well, dipping the pen, and then flipping to a new page. She starred at the blank pale paper for a moment before she started writing in curvy neat words.

April 7, 1 Full Moon, and 2 New,

  It's been a while. Almost a year. This thing has been collecting dust but I suppose it isn't my fault. A lot has happened. I've gone to jail. I've traumatized a Seawing boy. Lost more friends than I can count. Haven't talked to my sister in over two months. There was a fire. Rebuilding and then planning for the crime. An unfair trial. I only have a handful of dragons that can look at me without glaring, but I guess I'm even keeping them at a fair distance.

I wanted to go to see Hummingbird tonight. She told me to do this. I trust her judgment. Shes been good to me. She has not a single cloud of judgement clouding her soft mind, and when she tells me what to do, I follow and it helps. I trust her, even though it's only been a few weeks. I wanted to tell her my nightmares came back. Tonight. I don't know why. But they'er strange. They'er bright, and they come in snippets and it I wake up with a headache. But it turned so dark at the end. Keensight came back. Just staring with those maggots eating at his eyes. Why does it scare me every time? And why has it started now? Hummingbird would know. She would tell me.

No one knows I go to Therapy with her. I mean. Maybe Starfruit, Lily and Strum sense they were a part of the jury, but I don't think they've thought about it. I'm never going to tell anyone so it won't matter, but I guess I have to come up with an excuse for where I go three times a week at high noon. Maybe for a swim with Mowceana. Yeah. Thats good.

And then Wild. I've...not thought much about his classes. I go to him twice a week an hour before sundown. I have to check in and check out. Hes a interesting sort. Taps into meditation and shit. Fucking weird hippy. I haven't gotten along with him yet. I sit there and barley talk to him. Hes a freak, and I swear he smokes the devils leaf on the side. We walk in public a lot and he puts me in stupid situations that he knows will piss me off. Although I guess that's the point of an anger management class which isn't doing jack shit. Also another thing I won't be telling anyone.

Anyways. Why now? When things for me seem to be slowing down from all the punishment I've suffered so far? Why is it so hard to sleep so suddenly? It's not fucking fair, I was doing so well. I don't know and its frustrating. Is it the cuff? Is it giving me nightmares? Maybe, although-

---

  Moonwave leaned back as she bit her cheek, feeling her teeth dig into flesh and let blood flow to the corners of her mouth. Sucking in a breath she ran her talon through her fins, her tail flicking back and fourth with uncertainty. Using her talon she tapped the cuff wrapped around her wrist. Making a face, Moon picked at the dying scales around the cuff, flicking them away as her brows unfurrowed. She felt like the world was looking over her shoulder and breathing down her neck, waiting for her to do something considered wrong in their eyes, even by writing in her own journal. But no one was around for miles, only the stars watching, but it felt like even the stars were judging her with furrowed bright glares of disapproval. Blinking, she continued to write as her tail tip shook.

---

-never mind. They come and they go. Nightmares are nightmares, it's not something anyone needs to know about.

Despite them though, things have been, quiet. Every day goes by so slowly. I don't see a lot of dragons these days. I'm still hurt by Strum. I always thought he would have my back, through it all. That he would be there even if dragons like Lily and Starfruit tried to change his mind. But I was wrong to put so much trust in him. And I'm more upset at myself for letting my guard get so down around him, knowing something so strong wouldn't hold forever. I yet against trusted someone who took the knife and put it through my scales, cutting in deeper than any claws to my deepest fears and ripping them out to use against me. I wouldn't have cared so much if Lily and Starfruit was there, but now I see how much I mean to him. He's sorry, I know that, and hes trying to rekindle everything, but I'm not sure If I have the willpower to set myself up for that. I learned my lesson, I need to keep my guard up. I can't allow myself to be vulnerable.

I don't understand how he lets himself be so utterly manipulated that he molded himself into what others want from him. Hes so weak and pathetic sometimes, and fuck man, I tried to show the piece of shit, I tried to tell him to stop many times before. I don't force him to be anything hes not. I just needed him to be my friend, that's all, and instead, I'm always met with this confused dragon, fearful to let everything that represents him out from the back of his mind. And I blames pieces of shit like Starfruit and Lily who look to him and expect him to be the reasonable one, to look down at me and turn his back for them, who want him to be good, and to even let Strum think about something dark would be horrendous. Dragons like Abyss to seek their comfort in him and then cast him aside without a glace to see if he was ok. Skywing like Bloodstone who use him and guilt him into everything she pleases. Everyone uses him, and he lets it happen. " 'Be a good death machine' for Father. 'Be the ideal child' for Autumn. 'Be a good student' for Jade Mountain. 'Be a good Illumote' for the Alliance." I remember. Everyone wants him to be something for them. He's lost in trying to prove himself to others, and frankly, I fear even Vesper would flinch at how deep his situation is. I noticed. Strum seems to be his real self around me a lot of time, and thats all I want. But in the end, him being lost in other versions of himself made the break in our friendship. He hurt me, I knew one day he would, and it hurts so bad. I look at him and my chest burns like a Skywing breathed fire down my throat. I bite my cheek back raw and thinking about trying to trust him again makes me sick. I never thought I could have been so hurt, but I was wrong.

...I don't understand how I got punished. I served fair justice. I did it for the goodness of everything and everyone on this Mezzo. But I guess my word isn't enough. Pathfinder- well he didn't like it, Sek sort of drifted away after the Sand Kingdom. I got backlash from the public I guess, Icefeather drifted further away. But I don't fucking understand how I get the legal punishment when Bloodstone, and Abyss didn't get a lick of SHIT. First off, Abyss harmed a Alliance member with MAGIC non the less, and started a mass fire that has two child casualties. And Bloodstone. She needs to get sent off to a psych ward. I've never seen a dragon find pure and utter joy at the sound of screaming and the smell of burning and sizzling scales. Sure there were some bad souls in the Military, but shes a freak bitch. And she got off without a single string attached. I hope she dies in her own flames.

But at least the worst part is over. The cell, the trial. I just need a few more months of community service, and then a few more months on the Mezzo and I can go on missions. Fucking thank Clearsight. I'm planning a trip. A long one. I want to see some dragons in the Sea Kingdom, I need to do what I was going to do last summer. I'm going on my own. I don't know if I'll leave a note for anyone or not. I'm just telling Spitfire. I don't want anyone to follow, rest assured, I'm not stopping for a stupid Rainwing student dead in the desert.

Maybe I'll let Light know for the sake of her sanity with me, but she's not the best with secrets, and I don't want her telling Quin, so I guess not. I'll let Hummingbird know. No one knows I see her, so they wouldn't pass her twice on th- why am I writing this out like it matters. I don't think anyone will really notice, but that's good, time alone is what I need.

There's only a few dragons that I guess I can trust. Solstice. Never thought I would get close to a Whisperling again, even after Starbound, who, sort of, is still not ok after her shadow left her. I guess shes one of the few dragons who still haven't recovered. I don't think we'er friends anymore-

But Solstice is a good friend. I don't have many "girlfriends" if you like to call it that, and me and her seem to have the same personality. Shes a great kisser too, likes to be around me and I like to be around her. She's enjoyable to be with. She can take a joke with a laugh, wants to get drunk with me for the sake of fun, and seems to appreciate my words. Although she can be pushy at times, I guess I'm grateful for her company, even if we don't know much about each other in general. I wonder what her life was like before the Alliance. Did she have a dysfunctional family, live at the highest parts of the hives, grow up in the Scorpion den. Solstice is interesting because she doesn't give a lick of thought about who she was in the past. Another reason I like her. Shes more down to earth than most dragons and likes to be in the moment.

Quin is, another dragon I can trust. I guess I'm glad we'er- something, but I can't seem to think in a strait line when I think about him. Dragons like him and me don't get into relationships?? We don't settle down or have dragonets with a fucking soulmate we think we'er meant to be with. That's NOT what we do. What is wrong with me to think this might work? Am I just setting myself up again? Is it really safe to let my guard down? I always have these haunting thoughts, wondering and then telling me I made the wrong choice to act upon emotion. I think I actually scared? I have this weird tendency to fuck a lot of shit up, which I guess I'm used to, and in the end it makes me stronger, but do I seriously think me and him can work?

Are these second thoughts wrong? I don't even know the man! I mean, I know him. For these last two years now I've known him. But that mind block- it's hiding something and I feel so far in, I don't ever want him to reveal it to me. Like the fuck am I doing, He doesn't know anything about me either. He knows that I killed someone when I was younger. My dad, but that's the only context he got. He doesn't know anything else, and why does the thought of me telling him anything about my past make me want to vomit? Am I seriously that idiotic to care what he thinks. Do I really care that much? Why is he making this so FUCking hard? Am I going to ruin this? He said we can do it- together I guess, but why do I feel like this is very first thing I can't do? So many QUESTIONS!

----but I guess it fades away in the end right? He was always there. In the best way possible. He never looked at me differently, even after the trial and I was locked in a cell. He offered comfort when many were more than happy to escort me back to my cell or the Spire. He doesn't judge me for making crude remarks, and he only asks that I ever respect his opinions. Hes a gentleman when the time calls for- yeah he might have jealousy problems but I know I do too. Hes kind to me. So I guess all of this goes against my worries, and I think this can be good in the end, even despite my fear. I also said we can get through it together because we'er both walking down a dark tunnel. And there's some mornings I wake up with him and those questions seem like distant memories.

I never realized how big his wings were, big enough to wrap twice around me which is more than ok. And when the sun hits just right I can see the markings running down his stomach like little grey rivers, and the small grey blue flecks at the bottom of his neck near his collar bone. There's 13, I counted the kisses. His sail is my favorite part to run my talons through. Hes beautiful really. I want other dragons to see that in him.

April 7, 1 Full Moon, and 2 New
  Moonwave bit her cheek as she stopped writing and swallowed a lump in her throat, letting the ink dry out on the paper. Cracking her knuckles, she slowly started to put the condiments spread on the grass in front of her into her leather bag, the ink setting in and staining the paper with words. Blowing on the pages one last time, Moonclosed her journal and set it in her bag. She needed some sleep, she would be seeing Hummingbird early in the morning.

She felt a tiny weight lifted from her shoulders. It was moonhigh, and the night still wasn't over. "Nevermind sleep." she snickered to herself, hanging the bag over her shoulder and walking to the edge of the island. Opening her wings, lifted into the air with a glittering reflect of stars before diving down and making a strait shot towards the ocean. She hadn't seen Mowceana in a while.


LONG TIME no write. Getting to catch a gimps of Hummingbird (Moons therapists). Yay.

-Characters mentioned-
Bloodstone
Strum
Solstice
Abyss
Lily
Starfruit
Quin
Lightsteeler
Spitfire

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