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DOTB18 — Ed's Short Rants
Published: 2010-04-14 02:08:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 17704; Favourites: 129; Downloads: 10
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Hey, don't call me puny.Would you stop calling me puny?!
Stop calling me a pipsqueak, it puts me in really bad mood.
DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL BREAK DOWN YOUR FEET AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!!!
You couldn't see me since I'm so short you couldn't distinguish me from all the grains of sand. VERY FUNNY!!!
Shorty?! Could a shorty do this?! What else you want to call me; a half-pint bean-sprout midget?! I'm still growing, you idiot(s)!
WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICRO-SIZED HALF-PINT WHO DIDN'T GROW UP BECAUSE HE DOESN'T DRINK MILK?!!!
WHO ARE YOU CALLING A RUNT SO TINY HE COULD ONLY BE SEEN WITH
A MAGNIFYING GLASS, YOU JERK?!!!
WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MOUSY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK?!!!
Nobody calls me a pipsqueak and gets away with it.
WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU WANT TO CRUSH LIKE AN ANT?!!!
Who are you calling shorty?
WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK?!
WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DWARF?!!! GET BACK HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!!!
WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALL?!!!
WHO ARE YOU CALLING THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS TINIEST SHORTY?!!!
WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK-MIDGET WHO CAN EVEN GO TO THE BEACH BECAUSE HE'S SO SMALL HE'LL SINK INTO THE SAND AND WHEN THE TIDE COMES IN HE WOULDN'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT *breath* DROWNING BECAUSE HE'S SO SMALL HE CAN BREATH OXYGEN ATOMS THROUGH THE WATER?!!!
I'M NOT A SHRIMP!!!
What, did you think I'd still be a runt when I'm eighteen years old?!
WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SNOT-NOSED SHORTY?!!!
WHO ARE CALLING A SHRIMP SO SMALL HE COULD RIDE ON THE BACK OF A GRASSHOPPER?!!!
What's wrong with you people? I'm not short!
CAN A RUNT DO THIS?!!!
DON'T CALL ME LITTLE!!!
C'mon. Say "small". I dare you.
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Comments: 137
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(Ed's voice) WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MICRO-SIZED HALF-PINT WHO DIDN'T GROW UP BECAUSE HE DOESN'T DRINK MILK?!!!
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That's not what he said, Edward...
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WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MOUSE SO TINY EVEN AN OWL COULDN'T SEE HIM?!!!
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I'm not short I'm fun-sized
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"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TINY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK THAT CAN'T REACH THE CAP LOCKS BUTTON SO HE COULD POST A JOURNAL FULL OF SHORT RANTS ON DEVIANTART?!?!"
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Okay, that actually made me chuckle.
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these rants are always the highlight of my day when I watch the anime
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I was thinking of cosplaying as Edward Elric, but then I realized I was too tall to cosplay as him. Also, it would be too hard to find a metal arm and leg.
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I wanna be a midget now, even if I get bullied! Ed is 4'11" of epicness and I wanna be too!!! D:
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… I put the water rant as one of my answers in a science test...
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I'm Edwards height I'm 4'11" an I said this would be a funny rant to my friend
"WHO YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE CAN HAN GLIDE ON A DORITO"
XD
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....pppffffffftfttHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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Your amazing dude! I've been looking for Eds rants
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Oh Edo. What if I say your vertically challenged?
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Okay, first off: Don't call me "Edo". Nobody else calls me "Edo".
Second: It's "you're". If you plan on poking fun at me, at least use proper grammar.
And third: *WHAM* I DON'T CARE IF YOU USE BIG WORDS, DON'T CALL ME SMALL!!!
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I got something that I'd hope to hear from Victor J. Mignogna himself! "Who you callin' a runt so tiny he can ride on the back of a Chihuahua, you jerk?!"
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Well, he's 4'11", so you can't be that much shorter. And if you are, so what? Now you have every reason to use the short rants.
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He's actually about 5'2"... At least I think he was... I know after a certain amount of time had passed, he got a few inches taller.
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Me: Hey there Winry! Sorry, Ed's not here right now. He's trying to hide the fact that he broke your automail again.
Ed: I DID NOT, I SWEAR!!!
Me: And he's back.
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Ed... tell me what happened...and don't lie to me.
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Me: ...
Ed: Don't you dare!
Me: He got into a fight with some crazy not-homonculus... thing... and lost his whole arm.
Ed: ...crap.
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well..I guess i have 3 all nighters to fix this.
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Ed: ...Huh no wrench this time?
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I have the wrench. *tosses the wrench at Ed as it hits him in the head*
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Ed: Argh, dammit!
Me: See, this is why it's such a bad idea to tempt fate.
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Why did you have to ruin my beautiful masterpieces Ed? *pouts(
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What is with you breaking my masterpieces Ed? *pouts*
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Me: I'm 5 foot 4........ My younger bro whose 11 is almost as tall as me.
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Me: Oh, don't feel too bad. Ed here's only 4 foot 11.
Ed: SHUT UP!!!
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Me: I'm not being mean, I'm being honest. If I wanted to be mean, I would have called him a runty half-pint who can't go to the beach because he's so small, he'd sink in between the sand grains, and that he wouldn't have to worry about drowning when the tide comes in, because he's so tiny, he'd be able to breath oxygen atoms directly from the water.
Ed:
Me: Gottarunbye-byeSEEYA!!!
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Me: Ed..... Calm down please..... *gets down onto knees* See? Your taller than me now
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Al: That won't work. DOTB's gotten Brother all riled up again.
Ed: COME BACK HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!!!
Me: WHAT DO YOU PLAN ON DOING?!!!
Ed: NOTHING!!!
Me: THEN WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME?!!!
Ed: STOP AND YOU'LL FIND OUT!!!
Me: NO THANKS!!!
Al: They'll be at this for hours.
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Me:...... I feel sorta useless sometimes..
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Ed: MIDGET?! COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU BLOCKHEADED MORON, I DARE YOU!!!
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