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dragonfuture — circles
Published: 2017-10-10 17:26:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 301; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
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Description I saw a ladybird
on the bus -
stuck, crawling
helplessly
along the edges
of the glass. it

struggled up the
windowpane
until it realised
up
was no better
than down,

and right
no better than
left. everything
on the other
side was just
a dream.

where do we
walk, if not in

circles
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Comments: 4

FuzzyHoser [2017-11-15 13:51:19 +0000 UTC]

Oh, I like this. The short lines create a nice bouncy rhythm, which helps the reader grasp the message almost like a child would in a nursery rhyme. Very clever.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dragonfuture In reply to FuzzyHoser [2017-11-22 08:27:44 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! It was not my intention at all, but it's nice to see the way people read one's poem.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FuzzyHoser In reply to dragonfuture [2017-11-22 18:33:19 +0000 UTC]

Ha, well accidental win, I suppose. You're welcome, anywho!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

dragonfuture In reply to FuzzyHoser [2017-11-22 18:54:59 +0000 UTC]

Haha indeed! Thanks again

👍: 0 ⏩: 0