HOME | DD
Drunken-Splice —
December
Published: 2008-12-09 06:37:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 5298; Favourites: 183; Downloads: 30
Redirect to original
Description
DecemberDon’t breathe in
faith warmed letters—
I am losing my extremities to floe.
Please, set my feet on fire.
Seven hundred and forty four hours
of arctic hearts
and sunken blues:
Smoke stained voices
crepitate from vinyl
amidst a cacophony of
slide guitar tears.
Callous fingers crack open,
sliced against steel strings,
blood crystallized in patterns
like snowflakes.
Palm-mute me,
drop the decibels of
Sunday memories.
I am drowning in the sound waves
of Coltrane’s love.
Don’t come for me unless you mean it.
Related content
Comments: 126
Thanks. I've considering it, potentially making a little self-published chapbook of some of my favorites, sending it out to people.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
that's an awesome idea!
Going to print is always
good in my opinion.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Love that last line - it realy crystalizes the piece.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
See, and that's the one that was very tough for me, cause sometimes it feels to abstract and not really grounded as well as the rest. I'm ambivalent--some times it works sometimes it doesn't. Thanks for your opinion though, it's nice to know some people like it
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Is palm-muting used anywhere on a Coltrane album?--I thought it was typically used in...heavier stuff. Which album inspired this? Also...slide... Where you just going for musical terminology? I think it might be stronger if you kept within the bounds of the record. But hey, still great (and probably something you don't feel like revising.)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The music references are not necessarily tied in with the Coltrane record. It was just the one I was listening to during that time, and it carried the general feel of that month for me. I tried to set up a musical theme that leads to the Coltrane reference, but it is the feeling of the month as a whole that I wanted to be the focus--"A Love Supreme" (the record) is just a part of the whole.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
gotcha. ba da bada. ba da bada. etc.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
This is an interesting poem, it has a hazy feeling to it for lack of a better word. A lot of transparent imagery and soft tones. I usually don't like these kinds of poems but this one has a kind of mystique feel to it I don't really see too much. Like I said, interesting poem.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks for your comment.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Hell i just liked the dirty stickiness of this blues poem.
the pain in the sound of the guitar
the pain of the practitioner
I just enjoyed the read.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm glad you could get that emotion from the piece. Thanks for the comment
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Omg, I love this !
I love your choice of words and rhythm.
This is really nice ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks, rhythm was a very important part of this piece to go along with the music motif.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
It isn't often that I comment on Daily Deviations, I figure that they get enough comments, but it's always nice to see a DD given to someone whose work I respect.. so congrats.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you for the sincere comment. It means a lot to me that you respect my work
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
this is great! you used really good words to explain what you meant! its truly amazing!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks! P.S. I love your icon. It's hauntingly awesome.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
you're welcome and thanks haha
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
the last line hit me like a brick.
cannot get over that.
and this part
"Callous fingers crack open,
sliced against steel strings,
blood crystallized in patterns
like snowflakes. "
i love the visual of bleeding fingers on a guitar, and the seemingly random snowflake reference seems out of place, but it works. pairing a gruesome image with a pleasant works in an awesome way here.
very nice.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nice to see the images working! and that you enjoyed the last line. Thanks for the comments.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
congratulations on the DD - it's very well deserved.
this is just as breathtaking to read the second time.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
To a musician as myself, the references here were very awesome. The mention of cuttin ones fingers on the guitar strings brought images of physical pain and possably an intended internal anguish. However, the mention of Danny Coultrane was realy great. I commend you on an excelent job
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ah, glad the cutting the fingers on the guitar thing worked for you. The reference, though, is to John Coltrane, specifically his album "A Love Supreme."
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oh dear, i totaly just got him mixed up with a character my friend made up X[
thanks for the correction
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
congrats on the DD... it's very nice. I love the word choice ("crepitate" definitely conjured some images) and the last line is beautiful and relatable...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
crepitate came in a later edit, I found it in the thesaurus and was lik...BINGO! haha.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
haha, i know, the thesaurus pretty much writes anything i do for me--not really, but it definitely has a hand
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ya, I'll be honest, I'm 21 and I've just started using it, even though I've been writing poetry since like 15. Wish I would have started sooner
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I love this poem. After reading it, I read all the comments. For the record, I love 
Also, I got "Palm-mute" and I'm not a musician and have never touched a guitar. The instant I read it, it kind of gave me the chills and I thought, how clever of you and how cool of me to get it!
Also for the record, I'm not a poet, but I am a lover of poetry so I hope that counts!!
Congrats on the DD. I'm glad it introduced me and others to you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and got the palm mute reference being a non-musician. Thanks
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You're welcome. I'm just so glad that I found your page.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I love abstract, especially as a fan of Cummings. I'm glad you got some good feedback on this piece, it is well worth the effort of the comments you received. I won't go any further than they did, because they did such a great job, but I will say I liked it a lot, very well indeed!
Congrats on the DD!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
This is a great comment coming from you. I've always been a fan of your poetic style and aptitude.
You think it's very Cummings-esque? Honestly, that's one writer I've never had the chance to read--I'm always rummaging around with 19th century and Black mountain/confessional stuff. I should read some of it, and compare.
And I couldn't be happier with the feedback I've recieved. This is by far the most work I've done in the editing phase on a poem, and I think it's really turning out good.
Thanks again for your comment.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
PLEASE read Cummings, you will love his work. It speaks to the soul in ways unimaginable!
and you're welcome!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
thanks for the comment
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yes. I'm very glad you got that. That CD just fit this winter-blues feel I was going for. That somewhat haunting repetition of "a love supreme, a love supreme" gets me every time.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
truly one of the greatest records i have ever heard. coltrane is intense, but he's just unbelievable on a love supreme, the amount of passion he put into his solos is unmatched.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
There's something really beautiful about this poem. It's so emotive and just amazing. Congrats on the DD, definately deserved.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I remember this piece! Congrats on a well-deserved DD!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks, I'm very glad you liked it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I think you're the first writer whose stuff I liked here on DA. (I'm not an old member but...) I really could almost hear music while reading it and that's probably why I liked it so much.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Wow, I'm very pleased to hear you could hear music 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>