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It was an afternoon for flying trapeze artists
Practicing without nets, for spontaneity,
For the unrehearsed actions and unplanned
Decisions based on whims and the heat of our winter sun.

Ariana drove us to the beach on an hour’s notice.

There had been too much and not enough of me
To overcome it, but near the ocean all that was required
Was for me to succumb to the feline urge to absorb
Sunlight through closed eyelids and the heated sand,
The three of us with our backs against a shelf of sand
Carved out little by little by the ocean

(I pretended it was the spine of the Leviathan,
Drowsy as me and half-dreaming on the shore)

Getting up to chase seagulls and laugh.
And laugh.
And stare out at the ocean with my jeans folded to my
Foam-specked knees, feeling a numb heart and restless legs
Switch adjectives.

I was reduced and exalted into Eye,
The closest I had to come to thinking
came after Marina held out a fist full of sand
to me and asked how much was in her hand,
I thought enough to fill a world if they were people
but the words stayed inside me and
Grains trickled out through her fingers back to the ground
Where Chronos could not have said “come back.”
But it was okay, and the lost words for once didn’t matter.
Thank you.

Later we climbed a sand dune dumped on
The side of a mountain; at the bottom
I confessed “I’m afraid of heights”
and at the peak I told Marina
“I’m on top of the world”
and enjoying.
Maybe it was the distance from the ribbon of road,
the expanse of the ocean, everything I’m used to,
but I began to think “I can handle this again” and
Tucked a flower from the mountain rocks behind one ear.

We ran down and clacked empty seashells
Together like fragile castanets as a counter-rhythm
To the waves and climbed rock formations
Beaten by the sea to watch the sunset.

On the ride home and back to the
Mundane and Tedious,
The car passed through a tunnel.
I held my breath-
I’m the type of person who makes unfulfilled wishes
on bald dandelions and clocks glowing 11:11,
Tossed pennies and the last birthday candle,
The first star in the dark,
On a breath that lasts all the way through a tunnel-
Exhaled, and found out
I didn’t have anything I needed to wish for.